Kuno didn't have a plethora of friends. There were the other members of the Kendo team, but he treated them in much the way he treated the hentai Horde, or his ninja sidekick. They were his inferiors, to be ordered around as he saw fit. There had been only two people he would regard as worthy of his attentions; the sisters Tendo.
Before Ranma had arrived, there was no one besides Akane and Nabiki with whom he would converse with anything approaching equality. Ranma's arrival actually presented Kuno with a unique opportunity; a male he needn't compete with.
Ranma didn't fight him with a sword, so he didn't risk damaging Kuno's title of Kendo Champion. And Ranma's supposed homosexuality meant he was neither a threat in stealing Akane from him, nor a threat against Kuno's beliefs that Akane was the most perfect of all women.
While Kuno could not imagine anyone else could compete with his own excellence, he could see Ranma as a near equal without seeing him as a threat. It was precisely because he was not a threat, that Kuno could allow himself to see Ranma as an equal. Females were, after all, inferior creatures.
So, with Ranma's birthday arriving, for the first time he had to buy a present for a male friend. Shopping for girls was trivial; after all, all girls liked chocolates, flowers, and expensive clothing accessories.
"A gift should be something he desires, but would never purchase for himself!" Kuno ranted.
"Something related to his martial arts?"
"His style eschews equipment of any kind."
"Unfortunately he has traveled extensively, so household items would likely be a mistake, sir."
Kuno continued to pace, until an idea struck him, "That's it!" he declaimed, while striking a noble pose.
Kasumi answered the knock at the door. "Hello, officer, what can I do for you?"
The police officer was carrying a closed cardboard box, "I'd like a few words with Ranma Saotome. I believe he lives here? It's a small matter we just need to clear up, he isn't in any trouble."
"Come right this way."
The rest of the Tendo family, and both Saotomes were in the livingroom. The fathers were playing one of their interminable games, Ranma and Akane were seated before the TV, and Nabiki was jotting something down in a notebook.
The police officer set his parcel down on the floor. Taking off his hat, he turned to Ranma and asked, "Ranma Saotome?" He tossed his hat onto the box.
"Yes?"
While the officer smoothly took off his jacket, he pressed a concealed remote control hidden inside it. A lively piece of music, with a strong regular beat emerged from the box.
The officer faced his audience, and pulled open his button-down shirt. It had been closed with snaps disguised as normal buttons. Dancing, the officer showed off his well defined chest as he discarded his shirt.
Turning away from his startled audience, he bent at the waist, in time with the music, and touched his ankles. With one jerk, the velcro seams in his pants opened revealing his thong underwear as he presented his bottom to the audience.
Then he proceeded to dance for them, dressed only in his socks and G-string.
"Oh, my." Surprisingly, Kasumi wasn't the first person to say that.
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(Posted Sun, 13 Aug 2006 17:16)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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