Ranma, the Naive Succubus: Keystone cops written by Benny Hill? Not quite (LIME) [Episode 135798]

by N F R

There may not have been anyone in Nerima better equipped to fight off a horde of idiots. Certainly no one else had had her level of practice. Unfortunately for Akane, these idiots were police officers, so she was obliged to restrict her assault.

This meant that her targets wouldn't stay down. And what would have been finished in seconds became a running battle. Akane fled her captors, desperate to keep her identity a secret.

Luckily the park was full of places to hide. Unfortunately, these places were occupied. Her first attempt to dive into the shrubbery landed her in a body-tackle of a girl engaged in a sixty-nine with her boyfriend. The couple's disengagement wasn't accomplished without the dragging of teeth against his most sensitive attribute, but the weight of Akane landing on his sternum was adding insult to injury.

Fearing capture, Akane fled the couple's cries of anger and pain, hurtling over a bush. She cleared the hedge, and the bench located behind it, but failed to clear the heads of the couple necking on it.

The sounds of a pair of police treading on the abused sixty-niner drifted over the bushes, as Akane landed straddling the face of a young man. The girl that had been sitting in his lap had been pitched into the pond.

With two policemen behind her, a pond containing an angry girl before her, and a young man under her trying to scream into her pubic region, Akane leaped to her feet. To the left she could see a policeman, so she ran right.

The police were on the lookout for anyone wearing a gi, especially female. So as fast as she lost one of the police, another would spot her. Still, she had had weeks of practice avoiding the grasping hands of the hentai horde; in some respects she was in her element.

It was when she body checked the office lady who was bracing her hands against a tree that things started to go bad for Akane. The lady was off balance due to Akane's momentum, and the forced removal of the salary man who had been screwing her from behind. Desperate for support, her hands latched onto the belt which tied Akane's gi top shut, and with pursuit following closely behind, Akane couldn't take the time to retrieve it.

Luckily, her gi pants were held up by a draw-string arrangement, unaffected by the lost belt. Unluckily, her top had no other fasteners to keep it from opening, and flapping in the wind. And as she was using her undershirt to keep the police from recognizing her face, she flashed her bra-covered breasts as she ran.

Desperate to preserve her modesty, she endeavored to capture the flapping tails of her top, and hold them closed across her chest. This proved to be a mistake, as it meant she wasn't using her arms for balance as she ran, when she collided with a schoolgirl who was sitting on the lap of her lover. Separating them with a slurping sound she landed face down in his lap, narrowly missing putting her eye out, or giving him fellatio.

Recoiling from this, she reversed her flight, and bowled over the police behind her. One of the police officers collided with the trunk of a tree, shaking out a half-dressed man and woman. The man landed in the grass face first, but the woman landed on the back of the running Akane.

The woman latched on to Akane with all her strength to avoid further risk of injury; wrapping her arms around Akane's neck, and her legs around Akane's waist. But her grip felt too much like a capture attempt to the fleeing Akane, so Akane flung her over Akane's head, unfortunately losing her gi top.

The young lady's fall was broken by the body of a pickpocket who was searching for the valuables of a couple who was otherwise engaged. The male of the couple had his hands full, while the female wore her dress under her armpits.

Having unwittingly aided the community in the pickpocket's capture, she endeavored to remain free, herself. Dodging through a row of trees, she leapt another hedge without realizing she'd found the ornamental pond again.

It was constructed as a concrete basin ranging from two to three feet deep before soil and clay were spread to cover the bottom. Then tap water and plant life were added. Originally some fish were added to cut down on the insects and algae, but these had died out, and budgeting constraints forbid their replacement.

So Akane could have waded across the pond without needing any swimming ability. It was merely bad luck that the mud and water she had landed in had stopped the progress of her feet, but her torso continued forward, causing her to fall to her hands and knees, face-first in fetid, algae-encrusted stagnant water.

On the other hand, with her gi pants submerged in the opaque liquid, and her lack of a gi top, the eight police that ran past her didn't recognize her as one of their targets.

Akane briefly considered removing her undershirt mask to provide some modesty. But she refrained for two reasons. If anyone identified her, she would never live it down, and the water had rendered her undershirt nearly transparent in any case. At least it would be transparent if she wore it plastered to her skin.

She decided it was better to risk flashing the neighborhood, than to risk being discovered flashing the neighborhood. Besides, she was still wearing her bra, and that was almost as good as wearing a bikini top, wasn't it? Never mind she always wore a conservative one-piece suit.

By this point, Akane had abandoned all of her earlier plans. Her only goal was escape and preserving her dignity, or at least her anonymity. And that meant not only losing the dozen police officers, but finding some way to get from the park to her house without inviting public comment

Now had the police been aware that the crack team of female pervert martial artists were in the process of a strategic withdrawl, they might have decided to allow it. They were, after all, there to preserve the peace, and their attackers were more skilled and stronger than they were.

It was obvious to even the stupidest officer, Kei Sutoun, that had the perverts wanted to hurt the cops, they could have. Any one of the females could have easily incapacitated several police, and one at a time, she might have defeated the whole squad. And she had several sister perverts with her. If they made a stand, the cops were doomed.

And this was Nerima. As long as the martial artists avoided too much trouble, they were given leeway. So if it was a choice between a showdown, or letting them get away, the police officers could chase as slowly as necessary.

but as long as Akane remained terrorizing the park, they wouldn't give in. They could stomach chasing off and failing to arrest a dangerous foe, but they couldn't turn over a park to the militant loonie perverts.

So, unaware that their troubles would have been at an end had they given Akane a chance to flee, they continued looking for the members of Akane's gang.

It was particularly unfortunate for Kei Sutoun, cop, who missed his attempted grip on Akane's bare arm, and snagged her bra strap.

The metal hooks and eyes holding it closed wasn't designed to withstand the strain of two adults attached to it, and moving quickly in opposing directions.

Kei Sutoun particularly regretted this because for five seconds Akane forgot he was a police officer. For five seconds he was the molesting pervert that had stripped her topless in the park.

Fortunately, she didn't break any of his bones, or his skin. Unfortunately, human joints aren't meant to bend that way. Fortunately he wasn't in much pain. Unfortunately he would be, when next he regained consciousness.

Fortunately no one else saw it. Had other police officers joined in, there would have been a massacre. But with the pretzelling of the idiot, and the cessation of perversion, Akane realized she had finally seriously assaulted an officer.

She paniced. Barely taking the time to tuck an escaped breast back into the appropriate cup of her now backless bra, she fled. She only realized the possibility of borrowing some of the officer's clothes as she was escaping the park, and was faced with the daunting prospect of trying to get home unseen.

She ran into an alley. If she put on her transparent white undershirt, at least it would hold her bra against her breasts until she got home. The closer she got to home, the less effective her disguise would be, and she'd rather be accused of inappropriate clothing than partial nudity. A very real danger if the remains of her bra suffered any more that night.

But finally, for the first time this evening, her luck changed for the better. Because inside the alley were four muggers and potential rapists.

These toughs were a gang of students from another high school, all a year older than her. As none of them were in the habbit of trying to molest martial artists to ask them out, each of them was weaker than the average hentai horde. There were only four of them, and they were only armed with knives and clubs.

Seeing the indecently clothed Akane ostensibly trapped with them in a dark alley, they made plain their intention to have their way with Akane as soon as they'd stripped her of valuables and her remaining rags. They didn't last five seconds.

Normally, Akane would have just left their crumpled bodies in the alley, as she went on her way. Normally she was properly dressed. Looting the bodies for clothes she could wear, she recovered a very nice leather jacket. And having pawed their insensate bodies while trying to select the most appropriate wear, she considered their threat to rape her.

Deciding that they deserved to suffer as she had, she took their trousers. She briefly considered laying them out as two couples spooning, and removing their underwear, so it looked like they'd been robbed while amorously engaged, either with a victim or each other. But she didn't want to touch their shorts if she could avoid it.

Decently dressed for the first time since the park fiasco, although still stinking of fetid pond water, she carried the four trousers until she ran across a dumpster over a quarter mile from the muggers. She hadn't realized she had thrown away their wallets and house keys at the same time.

As long as she kept her new jacket zippered, and remained downwind, she was dressed oddly, but not so extreme that it would excite comment. The masculine style of the slightly too large jacket might suggest that she borrowed it from a boyfriend; or maybe bought it used to simulate that image. The jacket drew the eye away from her stained gi pants, and the jacket's collar concealed the effect of the pond water on the ends of her hair.

With her new outfit she was able to get to her room, without anyone asking any questions. She put the jacket in a bag to be taken to the cleaners, her bra in the trash, and the rest of her clothes in the hamper for the laundry. Then it was time for a shower and a bath. Her hair needed a good shampooing also.

As she sank into the warm water, she briefly considered going back to Koisukebe Park to look for Ranma. Then she beat up the idea, and dragged it to the trash for incineration.

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(Posted Sun, 03 Apr 2005 06:31)


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