"Aw put a cork in it shorty!" Church grumbled as he carried the petite sorceress.
Ranma rolled his eyes. "Lina, you're making a scene. Could you stop yelling?"
"Yeah," Britanny agreed. "You're loud enough to wake the dead!"
"BUT I DON’T WANNA DO TO ZEPHILLA!" Lina ranted, mostly out of fear at the prospect of seeing Luna again.
"If you don't shut up I'll lock you in a room full of slimes!" Church threatened.
"...I'll be good..." Lina whimpered, the Paladin bringing up the one thing she feared aside from Luna.
"HEY!" Ranma shouted. "That's going too far!" Ranma said. He had seen what happened that one time Lina fell down a well-shaft on one their quests and was covered in Slimes. The girl seemed to have a phobia of them, and it was something Ranma could relate to. He could screw werecats with the best of them, but REAL ones gave him the creeps!
"Oh like I could find a room and enough slimes to fill." Church said sarcastically, not that he didn’t think of it seriously though.
"Like an old idiot could dig a pit and find enough cats to fill it up," Ranma grumbled. He then held up his arms. "C'mon, Church. Hand her over. I'll carry her."
"Thank God," Church said. "Another moment and I felt my shoulder was going to give out."
He handed her over with no protest and popped his shoulder. "Guh for a petite one she's heavy.'
"Thanks," Ranma said as he carried Lina over his shoulder. "Oof! You're right. She IS heavier than she looks."
"HEY!" Lina shouted indigently.
"I wasn't saying you were fat." Ranma commented offhandedly.
Tenchi shook his head at the antics. "So how far is it?"
"I'd say soon." Britanny said sniffing the air. "I can smell people and plenty, so we’re defiantly close"
"In that case, I better stop wasting distance," Church mumbled. He then turned to the swordsman. "Tenchi!" He shouted seriously.
"Oh hell no, no, no, no!" Tenchi started to run, he knew what the Paladin wanted!
"Get back here, bitch!" Church shouted and then used his utility rope to catch Tenchi by the foot and trip him. He then started dragging the swordsman towards him.
Tenchi tried to crawl away. "NO, NO I DON’T WANNA BE THE MULE!:
"You're gonna b e a mule and LIKE IT!" Church shouted as he walked over to the downed swordsman and practically sat down on his shoulders. "Piggyback me!"
Pirotess chuckled. This never got old.
Tenchi whimpered. "Do I have'ta?"
Church took out a whip and cracked it hard in the air. "MUSH BITCH MUSH!"
"YAH! NO WHIPS!" Tnechi got up and RAN like a man possessed
At that sight, Pirotess giggled. "That NEVER gets old."
“I HATE YOU CHURCH!! I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!" Yelled Tenchi in the distance, followed by a loud whip crack and cries of pain from the swordsman.
Ranma nodded. "Still can't help but feel bad for Tenchi." He then looked to his right and smirked at Lina's butt. "How ARE you holding up Lina?"
Lina grumbled. "Can you untie me?” Then she added as an afterthought, “and stop ogling my ass too!"
Ranma thought about it. "First depends on if you're going to try and run away or not. Second…no. Not unless Brit wants me to carry her."
"...I won't run...you have my word..." Lina sighed, realizing no matter what she was going home by her own will or be dragged there.
Nodding, Ranma untied Lina, but still carried her over his shoulder.
"...You can let me down now." She said in slight irritation.
"I said I'd stop ogling you if Brit would let me carry her," Ranma said seriously. "And I don't hear Brit offering."
"Sorry Lina but I think its amusing watching you get carried and ogled." Brit grinned.
"Grrrrrrr.."
Ranma grinned and raised his lett hand to give Lina's butt a swat.
*WHAP*!
"YEOUCH!" Lina growled and hit his back with her fists. "No touching!"
Ranma laughed a little. "Can you blame me? I rarely get to do this. And I don't think Brit nor Pirotess mind."
Pirotess shook her head and Britanny gave Ranma the thumbs-up while winking.
"Ranma...." Lina said in warning, and then shouted. "DILLBRAND!!*
*KER-BOOM!!*
Out of the cloud of smoke from the spell; a smoking Ranma still carried Lina. "That hurt you know..."
"...Don't make me use another spell." She warned, pissed off that the monk’s ungodly resistance to damage made the spell worthless to use on him
Ranma nodded. "Don't give me reason to swat your ass," He said as he continued to carry her.
Lina got an idea and smirked, grabbing his ass she yelled. 'FREEZE ARROW!"
*KER-ICE!*
"OW! MY ASS IS FROZEN!!!" Ranma yelled, feeling his posterior become cold and numb.
"HEY!" Britanny growled. "Stop freezing my honey-buns!"
The Dark Elf raised an eyebrow to that. "Honey-buns?"
Lina used this chance to get out of Ranma's grasp and onto her feet. She then snapped her fingers and the ice dispelled. "I told you to put me down."
Ranma frowned. "Yeesh, this is the thanks I get for sticking up for you. Maybe next time I'll let Church do some half-baked scheme to put you through the 'Slime Fist'..."
Lina walked over and grabbed his chin. "Hey I wasn't finished, I appreciated the save but you went a bit far…but as thanks.”
Ranma blinked and then Lina leaned up and kissed him before letting go of him as quickly as she had initiated the kiss. “Thanks…” she added before turning away as her face flushed.
Ranma blinked his eyes. "Wow... You kiss nice...keep that up, and I'll keep Church from Sliming you."
Lina turned her head towards him. "Don't push it, now that I'm not confined I can handle Church but I don't forget kindness.”
“No you just forget to repay it more than not.” Pirotess deadpanned.
“Hey!!”
Ranma nodded. "Very pouty, ain't she." He shrugged and walked over to Brit...And picked her up and threw her over his right shoulder. "Mmm…Werecheetah"
"Ooooh you animal!" She squealed, kicking her legs playfully in the air.
Ranma grinned. "Last I checked, you're the one with a secondary species phylum," He teased and used his left hand to swat her ass.
*WHAP*!
"Ooooh you are a brute!"
Lina facepalmed. "Pirotesss why haven't we fireballed them to death?"
"They seem to heal too quickly for the fireballs to take a deep effect," Pirotess answered. "And anything stronger would destroy a good deal of the land around them too."
"True…" Lina sighed in defeat.
*WHAP*! Went Ranma's hand against Brit's booty again.
"OOOOhh sooo good…"
"And wait until we get to town," Ranma told her as he leaned his head over to nuzzle her ass. "We'll make sure to stock up on Birth-Control Wards, and I'll have you creaming for hours."
"Ooh yummy.” The Werecheetah cooed.
Lina groaned, feeling sick with all mush. "Oh God..."
Placing her hand on lina's shoulder, Pirotess nodded her head and firmly told the sorceress, "Be thankful they're often content with each other. It keeps Ranma off of our backs."
"Yeah." Lina admitted slightly. "....I just, lord Gourry was an idiot but he never was a pig. I could deal with an idiot who had a big heart and bottomless stomach, but ugh Ranma’s just a womanizing weirdo.”
MPirotess frowned and gently rubbed Lina';s shoulder, her hand underneath the shoulder-guard. "I am sorry, Lina. I know how much he meant to you...But at least your love didn’t' let you try to take a mortal blast of dragon fire for him, and then leave you 'dead' without even lighting a funeral pyre or something."
Lina looked at Pirotess, "Huh?" The dark elf NEVER spoke of her past. "What happened?"
Pirotess frowned. "War. I ended up trying to hold off the blast of fire from a huge Red Dragon named Shooting Star. He never came back for me and just left me for dead, which I would've been if Ranma, Church, and Britanny had not found me and nursed me back to health."
Lina's mouth tried to work but words failed her. "...Pirotess..."
Shaking her head, Pirotess told Lina, "It's in the past. I moved past Ashram."
"Ashram huh? Should'a called him AssRammer for ditching a hottie like you." Lina said, shaking her head. "What a cockbite."
Pirotess nodded. "I had a hunch he had feelings for the little pansy-ass FreeKnight named Parn awhile back, but I couldn't accept the truth."
"Parn...hey wait did this Parn have a blonde elf woman with him?" Lina asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," Pirotess answered. "And she sounds A LOT like you. Vocally that is."
"..I met Parn and his elf Deedlit I think was the name." Lina said connecting the dots in her mind. “Gourry and I ran into them at this inn we were staying at before we met the rest of you.”
Pirotess snorted. "And as usual, the sorceress had the brains, and the knight was a meat-bag idiot."
"Not really he was naive to a degree but nowhere as dumb as Gourry, and he seem…hardened and wizened by some experience.." Lina shrugged. "Too goody-goody for my tastes, plus the vibes between him and elf make my stomach lurch.”
"Agreed!" Pirotess said seriously.
"MUSH BITCH MUSH!" *CRACK-DA-WHIP!*
"OW OW OW!"
Pirotess grinned. "Now Church is more like Ashram. A Rotten prick through and through."
Lina laughs. "Ha that he is."
Pirotess nodded.
"Zephilla AHOY!" Cried out the Paladin as he pointed ahead to the town in the horizon.
"Oh thank God...oh thank God. I can put him down now.” Tenchi wheezed in relief.
"Not let mule MUSH!"
*WHIP-CRACK*!!!
"OW!" Tenchi cried. "I HATE YOU!"
"Yeah, yeah now mush dammit!" The Paladin prick commanded.
Pirotess frowned. "Great. If we get too far ahead, we hear those two going at their homo-erotic fun... But if we travel too far back..."
"WE'RE NOT HOMOS BITCH!" Both Tenchi and Church yelled in unison
"Seems like it! Pirotess snapped. "But like I said, if we travel to far back..."
"Heh heh," Ranma grinned. "Mine!"
*WHAP*!
"Weheheheh! Oh Ranma!”
"We get to hear those two being spanky and happy." Lina groaned
"So homo-eroticism or beast-eroticism..." Pirotess groaned. "What a choice..."
"WE'RE NOT HOMOS YOU CARPET-MUNCHERS!"
Lina twitched. "..Fireballs a go?"
Pirotess rolled her eyes, the Dark Elf Rogie readying her own. "Very."
"FIREBALL/FIREBALL!"
*THWOOM*! *THWOOSH*!
"SON OF A BITCH!" The two morons cried out as they were hit dead on, knocked over by the flames.
"AGRHHH I'M ON FIIIIIIIIRE!!" Tenchi cried in blazing agony.
Church wiped the soot off his visor, the rest of his armor charred. "Thank God my armor is magic resistant..."
"BUT I'M ON FIRE!!!" Tenchi shrieked with Church still riding.
"Oh..." Church took out a flask, "Here's some water." He uncapped it and poured it.
Problem was he forgot he replaced the contents of the flask with moonshine instead of water.
*TWOOSH*!
Tenchi went up like a bonfire. "AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!"
Lina sighed and aimed a hand at the burning swordsman "Waterga!"
*KER-SPLASH!*
"Aaahhhhhhh...' A smoldering, steaming Tenchi sighed in relief.
Church looked at his armor. "Aw crap now I gotta clean it again.."
"And I burn..." Tenchi whimpered.
*WHIP-CRACK*!
"OW!!!"
"Oh cry me a river! Now MUSH!" Church commanded, uncaring his ride was in pain.
*WHIP-CRACK*!!!
"OWWW! I hate you Church!”
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(Posted Mon, 11 Apr 2005 19:14)
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