Church looked down at his ride and casually got up and off of him. “Oh well, I can walk now.”
“You are so cruel...” Tenchi whined.
“Oh, bite me ya big baby,” The Paladin said off-handedly.
“So, this is Zephillia?” Ranma asked as he still had Britanny over his shoulder. “Looks like any other average town.”
“Yeah it is... That’s why I left, besides to get away from Luna...” Lina shook her head. “It was Deatsville.”
Ranma nodded his head to that. “No nice-looking guys, huh?” He grinned. “I can understand though. Back home all the girls were ‘average’ with a few slightly ‘above average’. I had to hit the jackpot by leaving. And Brit here was the best score,” He said as he affectionately nuzzled the werecheetah's posterior.
The werecheetah purred in return, her tail wagging.
“Actually I left because there’s nothing to do here, not that there wasn’t any decent guys, gutter brain,” Lina grumbled, her eye twitching... God, was sex ALL that he thought of?
Pirotess looked around her as the group stood at the entrance with them. “Listen guys, I know Lina here doesn’t want to stay long. How about we split up for a bit and meet tonight for Dinner? We can get everything we need done and be off tomorrow.”
Lina’s eyes brightened. “You’d do that for me?”
“I would,” The Dark Elf said... Then frowned as she looked at the rest of their traveling party. “Not sure about the other’s though.”
“I would,” Ranma said. “But I want to spend some quality time with Britanny. Is that so wrong?”
“Yes,” Pirotess said in exhaustion. “Don’t you two ever get tired of fucking?”
“No,” Ranma and Britanny answered in sync.
Church face-palmed at that answer. Shaking his head, he pointed behind him, “Dipshit,” He then thumbed to himself, “And I need to clean up, so we’ll get the inn rooms.”
“Try the ‘Laughing Swan’,” Lina suggested. “Small tavern and inn, but cheapest in the city with decent food. We could meet there for dinner and retire to bed.” Lina then pointed to the general direction where they could find said tavern.
“Cheap? Perfect! Thanks for the tip Lina,” Church said.
“Yeah... Thanks...” Tenchi groaned as he got to his feet wobbily.
“So it’s settled,” Ranma said seriously. Putting Britanny down on her feet, the pigtailed monk said, “While they get the rooms, you three ladies can do the major shopping. Get the potions and herbs and shit we need.”
“And what are YOU going to do?” Pirotess asked, not wanting Ranam to just laze around like a lazy bum... Or worse, waste precious time just looking for booty.
Grinning, Ranma hefted his backpack. “We’ve still got a lot of valuable shit that we can't just barter for goods. I figured this looks like a decent enough town to exchange some valuables and a few gems for cash.”
Pirotess blinked her eyes in surprise. “Holy shit, he actually thought of something for the good of the group for once.”
“That’s Ranma for you,” Tenchi groaned. “If he’s not thinking about sex, he’s got his eye on money.”
“Damn straight!” Ranma said with a grin.
“Which doesn’t say much about him in general,” Church added.
“Yep...” Lina agreed.
Ranma just grinned at the pricky paladin and the short sorceress. “At least I’ve got my goals in view. Booty and ‘booty’,” He chuckled. “So, Lina. Where’s a good place to try and pawn off these small gold statues, jewelry, and crap?”
Lina looked down the central road and pointed. “Go down about one hundred feet and its the shop on the left just before the crossroad leading out of town.”
To that, Ranma nodded his head. “Thanks. Meet you guys at the Laughing Swan then,” And he took off like a bottle rocket... Or Tenchi being whipped by Church.
The Paladin turned to the swordsman. “Okay lame-o, let’s go find us an inn.” Church said as he somewhat helped the injured Tenchi not have to walk on his injured legs...
...By dragging him by the collar.
As Tenchi was being chocked, he mentally prayed to the Goddess Tsunami that Church would piss off Ranma and Brit again soon. The bastard of Bloodgulch was easier to deal with when he was a Paladin Pretzel.
The petite sorceress shook her head in disgust. “Okay, let’s go shopping so and get all the stuff we need.” As she was walking in the direction, Lina then turned to the werecheetah. “And Brit, we’re not stopping at the Snu-T Boutique here either!”
“Awww... Why not?” Britanny asked. She LIKED Snu-T Boutique. It had the best clothes and the greatest selections of potions, accessories, and relics.
“Because, the reason we NEEDED to go on that last quest was because you spent 1,500 GP on a pair of ‘Sprint Shoes’ there,” Pirotess said firmly. “Shoes you destroyed after one run!”
“Not my fault they were cheaply made,” The Werecheetah mumbled.
“And another 2,000 GP on Invisibility Scrolls...” Lina added.
“And then 9,000 GP for the Dragon Boots you’re wearing right now,” Pirotess pointed to the Werecheetah’s feet.
Britanny pouted and went misty-eyed. “But those all help my thieving skills...” She whimpered pathetically. The jumping capabilities and invisibility really helped her.
“And all those purchases put us dangerously in the red,” Pirotess said firmly.
“And the bar tab you racked up cost us our extra spending money,” Lina added seriously.
“Hey, that bar-tab had NOTHING to do with Snu-T Boutique!” Britanny pointed out.
“But it as still YOU spending the TEAM’S FUNDS,” Pirotess pointed out.
“And I thought Ranma’s hair-brained insurance scam was money-draining...” Lina deadpanned.
Britanny whimpered. “Cockbites...”
To the werecheetah’s pouting, Pirotess rolled her eyes. “We aren’t spending much anyway, Britanny,” The Dark Elf said seriously. “We’re only getting the BARE essentials needed for our quest, and that’s that.”
“And ONLY what is needed!” Lina reaffirmed.
Her ears flattening against her skull, Britanny lowered her head in defeat. “Fine, fine...”
“I just hope Ranma can get some good cash for the goods he’s selling...” Lina muttered.
Pirotess nodded her head in agreement with that. “I know, and we really need to conserve what little we have now. We couldn’t get all of that damn dragon’s horde, and those Bandits didn’t have much either. Two chances for major cash that went bust.”
“Ranma will get us the money,” Britanny said firmly. “He’s a smooth talker. If he can talk me into the sack within two hours of meeting me, he can get someone to cough up a few extra coins for something.”
“I thought he talked you into bed easily was because your a horny wereslut?” Pirotess asked seriously.
Britanny pouted cutely. “Cockbites.”
(------)
It was a decrepit old building near the city's western edge. Broken windows, rotting wood walls, and cheap sheet-metal patches. The only thing about it that GAVE the idea it was the destination was the overly cute wood sign which could’ve shaped like a DECAPITATED swan that had the lettering of ‘Laughing Swan’ in fainted paint on it.
Church blinked. “The hell? No why we’re staying at this dump...” He then shook his head in disgust. “I guess the place has fallen far since Lina was last here,” The paladin mumbled irritably.
“I don’t know,” Tenchi said. “Lina said to meet here, and everyone agreed to it.”
“Screw that!” The Paladin shouted. “I’m finding a new place.” Church said firmly.
“But Church. Look!” Tenchi pointed to a pieces of paper the prices on the sign. A room a night was only five gold pieces. Even the cheapest they’ve seen in their travels charged one-hundred!
“...We’ll give the place a once over inside... If it’s structurally sound we’ll stay, and if not... I’m torching the dump.” Church said as he walked to the door and opened it...
...Only to have if fly off its rusty hinges and smash into Tenchi.
“Ow-ow-ow...” Tenchi whined as he tried to rub the large lump forming on his head.
When the dust was settling from the door being torn off, Church poked his head inside, once again ignoring Tenchi and checking out the inn.
The sight was a rather pathetic one. It was VERY old looking. Old and dusty, with sheets over the furniture. But overall, it looked much better than outside. The cobwebs over the managers desk and the rusted bell gave Church the idea of what was going on with the place.
It was abandoned.
“...Tenchi...” Church said slowly.
“What?” The swordsman asked as he rubbed his head to try and keep down the swelling.
“Get some nails and boards... You’re fixing this dump while I get the property deeds... We’ve just got ourselves a base of operations for cheap!” The Paladin laughed.
“We what?” Tenchi asked curiously, as usual not understanding what Church was getting at.
Stepping back outside, the Paladin looked at the wooden sign and took a GOOD look at the flyer atop it with the prices.
“Holy shit...” Church whispered as he wiped the aged-grim off the sign. It wasn’t ‘5 Gold for Room’...
It was ‘50 Gold for Room and Tavern Building. Inquire to local Mayor for purchase’.
“They want ONLY fifty gold pieces for the entire BUILDING!?” Church shouted in near disbelief. “Oh yes we are so BUYING IT!” He then turned seriously to the swordsman, pointing at him with a commanding finger. “Tenchi! Go to the hardware store and get the boards and nails! We’re fixing this dump up. I’ll go to the mayor and buy the deed.”
Tenchi stared just simply amazed at the building. “I guess the building was in such bad condition, no one even thought to buy it...” He then looked at Church when what he demanded registered in his mind. “But the supplies needed and the pay for construction-workers will make it even out.”
“It won’t if we, (and when I say ‘we’, I mean ‘you’) fix things up.” Church said seriously. “So buy the boards and nails and get to work while I get the deed, dumbass!”
Tenchi gapped at Church. “But I don’t know the first thing about construction. All I know how to do is tile and patch up roofs!”
“Fine then...” Church said simply. “Pay for construction workers if you want. But its coming out of your share, wuss.”
Lowering his head in defeat, Tenchi sighed. “I better be getting a good dinner tonight for busting my ass.” And he was off to buy some building supplies.
Church chuckled with glee and ran for the Mayor’s building... About fucking time God gave him a break!
(------)
Britanny looked up at the sign of the store they stood outside of and frowned. It was a Simple Item Shop.
“Well here we are,” Lina said walking in through the door.
Pirotess nodded her head as she looked about the small store with mostly bare shelves. “Well, isn’t this quaint?” And not to mention cheap! Nothing here that Britanny could bankrupt them on.
“Yep, mostly cheap prices for the stuff you’d expect to be expensive, and the merchandise is quality.” Lina replied. Left unsaid was to make up for that, the store often charged higher prices for more commonly bought items; like how Tonics were three-hundred gold pieces when these things were normally fifty!
Her head moving back and forth taking in the sight, Britanny continued to pout. “But it’s all simple potions and ethers here...” The Werecheetah whined rather cutely. “Do they even have Birth Control Potions here?”
“What do those look like?” Lina pointed at a shelf of potions and such labeled ‘contraceptives and aphrodisiacs’.
Bouncing over to the wall, Britanny smiled brightly... But then frowned as she noticed how many there were. “There’s only six of each. BC Potions, STD Wards, and Viagra Ether.”
Turning from examining a tent, which was 500 GP rather than the usual 1,200 GP, Pirotess smirked at the werecat. “Oh boo-hoo. So you and Ranma can’t screw like cats in heat. Cry me a river.”
Glaring at the Dark Elf, Britanny frowned deeply. “Don’t talk like Church to me,” She growled menacingly.
“Just buy them all and ration them cat!” Lina snarled as she was looking for Mana Potions, aka ‘Ethers’. She was finding the store had an abundance of Tinctures, but those weren’t much of a magical recharge, and just weren’t worth it at 1,500 GP.
At the Sorceress’s snarling, Britanny whimpered. “But we need them for the crypt... The Oz Witch said we’d need them.”
Pirotess rolled her eyes. Why was it when Ranma wasn’t around, she was SUCH a whiny kitty?
Putting down a Tincture bottle, the redhead sorceress turned to the werecheetah. “Then ration them; i.e. DON’T fuck Ranma and save them for the crypt!”
Britanny whimpered. “But I wanna fuck Ranma...”
“Life isn’t always fair,” Pirotess said to the werecheetah as she put down the tent and looked at a single sleeping bag.
“Well, then take your share of the loot and see if an Alchemist moved into town and pray they can transmute you some new potions.” Lina said as she continued to look at the shelf. Oooh 300 GP for a Phoenix Down when those things were usually 500 GP.
To Lina’s suggestion, Britanny nodded her head slowly. “Hope there are some other shops here... I won’t mind spending my own portion for some more BC Potions...”
Pirotess rolled her eyes. Walking over to and leaning over the smaller sorceress, she whispered, “Any reason why this cat is so horny for Ranma?”
“No fucking clue...” Lina admitted. “If he’s that good a lay, maybe... That, or the tales of werecats being incredibly horny has more truth than people know.”
Pirotess looked over to the werecat that was looking at a potion in a long, cylindrical tube. “I’d say just horny.”
“Right... Anyway, let’s get what we need.” Lina looked at the selection of potions, grabbing a few Mana-restoring Ethers when she finally spotted them.
Pirotess nodded and started looking about for other deals. Her eyes widened at the main display case with the lock on it. “Oh my! They have Mega-Elixers and an Elixer pack!”
Britanny smiled brightly. Elixers and Mega-Elixers did EVERYTHING for everyone in a group at one time. Meaning, they could also act as a BC Potion AND STD Ward at the same time!
“Get some, we have enough excess for two,” Lina checked the money purse they set aside for potion purchasing.
Britanny squealed in delight when Lina said that. “YAY!”
Her eyes still looking about the glass-case, Pirotess smiled. “They have an X-Ether in there too.”
“Get it I put aside a little extra in the potion account we can afford it.” The redheaded sorceress said. If it wasn’t for her, this team wouldn’t have ANY emergency funds. Everyone seemed to want to spend, spend, spend whenever they got even a little money.
Again, Pirotess nodded her head. She preferred to keep X-Ethers on her when she could.
Looking about for anything else they might need, Lina looked out the shop window and blinked her eyes as something caught her eyes. “Did I just... See Church and Tenchi run by with building supplies?” Lina shook her head. Her eyes must’ve been playing tricks on her.
“Mush bitch! Mush!” *WHIP-CRACK*!
“OW! Damn it, Church! It’s bad enough carrying all this, at least get off my frikin’ back! C’mon, people are staring!”
“Never!” *CRACK-DA-WHIP*!
“OW GODAMNIT, OW!!!”
“No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you,” Pirotess grumbled, a twitch at the corner of her eye. What the hell was with those two idiots.
“Wonder what those two idiots are doing...” Lina muttered in curiosity.
Britanny pouted at the sounds of her two idiot teammates in the distance. “Something no good, I bet.
“Probably...” Lina agreed with the werecheetah.
Britanny nodded and looked the shop over. She then looked out the Window and across the street to see the Accessory Shop. “Sigh...”
“Don’t even go there!” Both the Dark Elf and Redhead stated.
Britanny pouted at her fellow female teammates. “Meanies.”
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(Posted Sat, 16 Apr 2005 01:48)
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