"What?!" The Paladin stuck his head through a hole in the roof. He had a hammer and a tool belt draped over his armor indicating he was working as well.
“C-couldn't we have just let the metal plating on the walls until we were ready to get to them?" Tenchi gasped as he finished hammering the board into place. "Since we took them all off, we'll HAVE to finish the roof today at least, or else we'll have too much of an air draft and possibly worse… Look, just finish the roof dumbass!" Church yelled as if he asked to do the dumbest thing in the world. "Those metal plates were about ready to collapse with the next thunder storm, heavy rain or just a big gust of wind! You finish the roof while I finish up the floors in the rooms here, and stop your bitching! We've only been doing this for two hours!" Church's head vanished back down the hole.
Tenchi whimpered, but went back to patching up the large hole he had to fix... And there were another three dozen or so more to go. "How do I let Church talk me into this?" The swordsman whined cutely.
Suddenly a water bottle landed by his hand.
"Here cockbite, I figure ya’ need to rehydrate." Came the gruff voice of the Prick Paladin.
Blinking his eyes, Tenchi was...surprised to say the least. "Thuh-thanks, Church!" Taking the bottle, Tenchi began drinking needingly.
"Yeah, yeah last thing I need is for ya to pass out...then I gotta do the work!" He replies with a half-hearted grumble.
Tenchi nodded and finished drinking the water. Hew placed down the bottle and was about to go back to work, when he noticed who was coming upon them. Putting down his hammer, he waved at the oncoming trio. "Hello, ladies!"
"Tenchi? What the heck're ya’ doing on the roof of the inn?" Lina blinked as she stopped, staring at the old building. "....Man this place went to hell since I left..."
Britanny nodded. "Don't tell me we're staying here the night." She REALLY hoped they didn't. Place looked ready to collapse.
"Oh, well, point is..." Tenchi rubbed his brow with the back of his hand to wipe away the sweat. "Place was pretty much abandoned."
Church leaned out of an open (more like torn out) window. "And it was for sale for 50GP so I bought the joint! So we're fixing it up so it doesn't fuckin' collapse on us!"
Pirotess blinked her eyes in surprise. "You BOUGHT the building!?"
"Yep, and out of my own funds since 50GP is Copper's in the current economy....so while I bought the place and technically I own it...I've had it written the whole team has a share in the building."
Britanny blinked her eyes. "Holy crap, it sounds like he means it."
"Church," Pirotess started as she walked towards the building. "That's pretty goddamn decent of you."
The armored Paladin shrugged. "I'm feeling generous, I mean this is the first big break any of us have gotten since we...accidentally saved Princess what's her face...D'bra and had the entire Platnium Dragon Clan throw the red carpet treatment for us all."
Lina blinked her eyes in bafflement before screaming, "YOU SAVED THE PLATINUM DRAGON PRINCESS!?"
"Yeah," Britanny said. "Back when it was just me, Ranma, and Church." The Werecheetah managed a small grin. "They gave us SOOOOO many platinum pieces to spend with. And we got a feast and a stay in the palace atop of it!"
"Oh man...what a spread...gourmet meals 24/7, hot spring baths, service with a smile." Church sighed happily. "Man and that was barely two weeks after we met Brit too."
Britanny purred. "I think THAT was the clincher to make me stick with you guys."
Tenchi pouted. "Damn, that sounds pretty sweet."
"It was!" The Werecheetah smiled brightly. "And they let us stay at the palace for a week before we really had to get going."
"And that special dance D'Bra gave us in our private suite...oh man...even with a petite human form she was HOT in that harem outfit!" Church sighed in a content matter. “Life was so sweet for those two weeks.”
Lina twitched, looking at Brit. "How come you three had all the luck and when we got to be all of us our luck sucks?"
"Somebody is unlucky in this group." Pirotess deadpanned.
All eyes went to Tenchi.
"Hey! Why're you all staring at me!?" The swordsman shouted at the indignity of the unsaid accusation.
"Oh, nothin’." Everyone said turning away and coughing
"So anyway you girls get the stuff?" Church asked as he started to nail the new window sill in.
"Yes, Church," Pirotess said as she held up the bag with their purchases. "Bought what we could that was in stock. Place sells only low-level items for most part."
"Eh can't help that." Church replied as he was pounding away with the hammer. "Since this is our place now it means we'll need to buy food to stock up on least while we're here."
"I have a better question, can anyone here cook?" Tenchi asked seriously
"Just don't let the cat cook; she ruined toast for God's sake!" Church grumbled
"HEY!" Britanny shouted. "I can cook pretty damn well! Even you said my cooking wasn't bad!"
"Uh, I only said that cuz Ranma threatened to keep my share of the loot if I didn't compliment your cooking." Church said
Britanny pouted. She should've known Church wouldn't willingly give a compliment.
Pirotess shook her head. "I'm not much of a cook either, how about you, Lina?"
"I suck." The petite sorceress sighed.
Tenchi groaned. "Damn it! Can't anyone cook!?"
"Ranma and I can cook..." Church said as he had to learn to cook for himself back in his militia days.
"What Church said," Came a male voice in the distance... Carrying a sack that looked ready to explode!
Turning their heads, the group could see the oncoming pigtailed monk...
"Speak of the transsexual devils." Church spoke up
"Who make a good haul?" Lina eyed the goody bag hungrily
Britanny's eyes widened at the sight. "Is... Is that thing filled with coins?"
Ranma nodded. "One-hundred-thirty-thousand, gold pieces!" He said triumphantly. When cut into seven shares, six for each person, and then one for team use, it was nearly 15,000 GP!
"Holy fucking shit!" Church exclaimed breaking the silence. “At last we got a good haul for all that loot!"
Lina cried happily. "This IS a good day...we got good sales on items, Church brought this old place for our use for uber cheap...Ranma got us lots of money...and I haven't seen hide nor hair of Luna....I am content!"
Ranma frowned as he walked over to Lina. "Yeah. because *I* saw her..." He sighed. “Man, Lina..." The pigtailed monk sighed. "She really is a bitch."
Lina froze. "You...saw her...oh God she's not coming here is she?" She asked in fright,
"I don't think so," Ranma said seriously. "But she had something important to tell me..." He dropped the sack. "Everyone! We've been had!" He shouted. "This quest will not involve sex whatsoever!"
Britanny gasped. A Quest WITHOUT sex!? It couldn't be true!
Everyone else but those two did a KER-THUD.
"So what if nookie isn't involved! What about the God damned loot?!" Church demanded
"That's also not so good," Ranma said. "Sure, there'll be old artifact-relic weapons, but there's only possibly ONE piece of loot with numeric value. And Dorothy's already claimed it."
Pirotess groaned. "So ANOTHER bummed Quest." Figures, their luck lately had been keeping them rather poor.
Church face palmed. "So tell me...if we're not heading for a crypt of infinite nookie where are we heading?"
Ranma sighed. "Temple of the Matrix..."
Church was out the window and grabbing Ranma by his shirt. "...The Temple of the Matrix, that's where the Oz slut is sending us?!" He asked...was it fear or excitement...or both?
Lina's eyes went wide. "We're going to the most holy of holy grounds....oh man even I don't wanna loot that place no why no how!"
Ranma nodded his head to Church and then looked at Lina. "But we already accepted. Which means we gotta face a lot of deadly traps so that the Oz Witch can profit and we get screwed."
Church let go of Ranma. "But how do we get in? It’s supposed to be sealed off so nobody who isn't a guardian can get in!"
Ranma held up a small amethyst-like jewel that seemed to be prismatic in that it shone other colors. "Luna gave me a key."
Lina's jaw dropped. "I've seen that in her possession before...no wonder she went crazy when I tried to sell it...."
Nodding his head to that, Ranma said, "Well, your sister gave it to me on loan."
"You tried to sell the key to the Temple?" Pirotess raised an eyebrow. "Lina...may I ask did Luna always pick on you for the heck of it...or did you incur her wrath more than you admitted?"
Lina sweat-dropped. "...I er, can't remember." Her tone more or less indicated Pirotess’s question hit the mark.
"Somehow that makes more sense than you being the victem all the time." Church muttered
Ranma frowned. "That was something else Luna said that I didn't like." He looked at Lina. "Luna said someone's been falsifying Lina's and my memories to make 'em seem worse than they really are."
"Actually that would make some sense Ranma." Pirotess said stroking her chin. "Every time it comes to specifics on things concerning Genma or Luna...you and Lina either say the worst...or can't recall jack..."
Ranma frowned. "Who the hell would want to screw with us though?"
"Gee is that a trick question? Hello we have Dorothy as a 'benefactor'." Pirotess said to the obvious. "..Somebody in high places is keeping tabs on us."
Ranma's eyes widened. "No way! You think the Oz Witch is behind all this!?"
Pouting, Britanny placed a gentle hand on Ranma's shoulder. "It...kinda makes sense..."
Lowering his head, Ranma sighed in defeat. "Goddamn it..."
"But she may not be the only one..." Lina said softly. "If Luna knows something Cephid maybe involved..."
"Or who knows who else." Church rubbed the chin of his helmet. "..In any case we'll figure it out, and when we find out its ass-kicking for the people screwing with my pals!" Church pumped a fist.
"She said it would make sense once we made out way to the Temple of the Matrix..." Ranma said as an after-though.
"Then that means we're going! I wanna find out why my memory was screwed with and if I need to Dragon Slave a few people to satisfy my rage!" Lina said in a dramatic pose with fire in the background
Ranma managed a smile. "If this makes sense, I may be out to kick more ass than I want to tap." The pigtailed monk said seriously.
Britanny hugged Ranma from behind. "Count me in on that."
"Any excuse to kick ass I'm in." Church cackled gleefully.
Tenchi nodded. "We've been through so much so far, might as well be in it for the long-haul."
The Dark Elf nodded her head. "Hopefully there will be more treasure in there besides what Dorothy wants."
"Let's hope so..." Church looked at Ranma. "Since the joint is still under repair." He said thumbing the building. "How bout we finish the roof and then go to a tavern to eat?"
Ranma smiled. "Food is always good in my book."
"Alright...then put the bag of gold inside and help us finish the roof and door so we can eat!" Church said putting a hammer and box of nails in Ranma’s hand.
To the paladin's demand, Ranma nodded. "Count me in."
"I'll help too," Britanny said.
"Good." Church handed Brit a hammer and some nails and walked back inside to get back to work.
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by Ninja Kasuga of the Demonite Race
(Posted Tue, 26 Apr 2005 20:27)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.