Yes, the three ‘normal’ ones kept all the fiendish bottomless pit-for-a-stomach food-stealers on one side of the table. After all Church, Pirotess and Tenchi needed to eat as well.
Ranma grinned as he looked at the menu in his hands. “Church!” He said in excitement. “They have Fenrir Ribs!”
“Sweet!” Church explaimed happily. “And look! Fricasseed Wabbit!”
Britanny pouted. “I hate Wabbits. They tried to kill my cousin,” She then smiled. “OOOH! They have Rizopahz Sashimi!” Those were some tasty piranhas.
“Everything looks good to me!” Lina said as she looked over the menu quickly. She didn’t care, food was food to her as long as it wasn’t slop.
Lifting her cup, Pirotess sipped at her coffee, eyes the menu. “Mmm... Chocolate cheesecake with caramel filling...” Yes the dark elf had a sweet tooth.
His eyes widening as he caught sight of a certain item on the menu, Tenchi smiled as he happily cried, “Skeeskee! They have rotisserie Skeeskee!”
“Rotisserie Skeeskee!?” Ranma, Britanny, and Lina declared as one, eyeing Tenchi with greedy eyes and smiles.
Tenchi whimpered. “Order your own Skeeskee!”
“Sheesh! You vultures let the sap eat, and don’t you steal my food either! We worked our asses off fixing the roof and most of the first floor!” Church said shaking a fist.
Pirotess blinked her eyes. “Only most? Then won’t it be dangerous to walk on the floor?”
“Just the discolored rotting floorboards, the new ones no,” Church said with utmost certainty.
The Dark Elf nodded her head. “How was the furniture in there?”
“Oddly enough, not too bad...” Tenchi said. “Someone put plastic covers over most of the pieces. Probably intended to sell them off later and never got around to it.”
“Yeah, although we never checked the basement...” Church remembered that door leading downstairs. “By the way, that’s where you and the cat are staying, Ranma,” The paladin said seriously.
“Huh?” Ranma boggled. “How come Brit and I have to stay in the basement!?”
“Because you keep us up otherwise with you two having sex,” Four of the six people at the table answered eerily in sync.
Ranma just stared at the quartet of backstabberscockbites assholes people who didn’t know how to appreciate sex.
A slim cute young waitress walks over. "Sorry for the wait, does everyone know what they want?”
Grunting as he turned away from the others, Ranma said, “Sure, I’lllLLLUNA!?!?” He screeched as he saw WHO the waitress was.
Luna grinned, the small disguise illusion she used to throw Ranma and Lina off dispelled, revealing her true self. “Heya.”
Lina was now under the table, hiding under Brit’s chair. “HIDE ME!”
“Oh for...” Luna groaned at her little sister’s actions. “I’m not gonna blast you, you big baby!”
Tenchi blinked his eyes as he looked their waitress up and down. “Wow, Lina. You never said how pretty your sister was.”
“Yes,” Pirotess agreed with the swordsman. “One wouldn’t think you two were sisters.”
“Holy shit!” Church looked Luna up and down. “...Man, you sure you’re related to Lina? Because, well... You’re built far better.”
From beneath Britanny‘s seat came the cry of, “BITE ME!”
“Mom’s genes.” Luna chuckled.
Ranma still frowned at Luna, while wrapping an arm around Britanny’s waist, hugging the werecheetah to him. Truth be told, he still wasn’t all that happy to see her again so soon.
“So can I take your orders? And...” She smirked. “Lina you can come up from under the table.”
“I no wanna!”
Luna sighed. She wasn’t in the mood to argue. “Okay... So orders?”
Everyone gives their orders and Luna leaves to have them prepared. Only when she was out of sight did Lina come up from underneath the table. “I-is she gone?”
“Yes she is, you big baby,” Church replied.
“Hey, give her some slack, Church,” Ranma said seriously. “When you get on Luna’s bad-side, she can be a real bitch!” Sighing, Ranma laid his head on Britanny’s shoulder.
“You okay, Ranma?” Britanny asked concerned.
“Bad side?” Church questioned.
“Define ‘getting on her bad side’,” Pirotess said.
Ranma sighed. “I looked down her cleavage and she punched me into a stone wall...” His own eyes went to Britanny’s cleavage.
“That explains it!” Pirotess, Church, and Tenchi deadpanned.
“What’s wrong with that?” Britanny asked in confusion. “I let Ranma stare at my cleavage.”
“He’s seen you naked inside and out for chrissakes! OF COURSE YOU DON’T MIND!” Church exclaimed.
“But, some women don’t like it when men ogle them like meat,” Pirotess said next.
Ranma sighed. “I hate to admit it... But the Dark Elf’s right... Not all women like the ‘Saotome Style’.” Smiling a little, he looked up at Britanny’s face. “Really glad you do...” He gave Britanny a kiss on the cheek.
Grinning happily, the werecheetah gave off a little purr.
Tenchi sighed. It was obvious to him Ranma and Britanny really liked each other. So why the hell did they sleep around with other people like complete sluts?
While Church on the other hand, didn’t really give a flying fuck they were into a swinging lifestyle. He just wished they weren’t so loud when he was trying to sleep.
Pirotess relaxed into her seat. “Could you stop kissing her cheek, Ranma? Some of us aren’t comfortable with ‘public displays of affection’.”
Ranma would’ve told her to ‘bite him’, but he was too busy kissing the werecheetah’s cheek.
Britanny continued purring, wrapping her tail around his waist.
“Sheesh, Pirotess! Even I don’t object to a kiss like that unless they start sucking face.” Lina said.
“But I’m also a Dark Creature, like Mazoku... And positive aspects, such as affection really start to vex me...” The Dark Elf admitted.
“So if say I decided to lay a smack on ya, you’d be repulsed?” Church asked rhetorically.
Pirotess’s eye twitched. “I’m not going to respond to that.”
“Yeah like she’d want to be kissed by you Church.” Lina laughed.
“Oh, bite my shiny metal armored ass!” Church growled out irritably.
Tenchi nodded his head. “Please bite it! Then he can’t sit on my shoulders to get piggy-back rides!” The Swordsman pleaded the redheaded sorceress.
“Like I’d even want to bite his skanky ass!” Lina bleahed .
“Yeah, you’d break your teeth,” Pirotess said seriously.
Grinning, Ranma stopped kissing Britanny’s cheek and whispered into her ear, “Can I bite your soft and furry spotted ass?”
“Anyway, how far do we have to go on foot before we reach the Temple, Ranma?” Church asked.
Britanny purred and nodded to Ranma’s question.
Ranma grinned and gave Britanny a light kiss on the lips before turning to the Paladin of their group. “Well, according to this map, that temple isn’t even half a day’s travel from here.”
“Hmm, you’d think they'd put it in a more remote location,” Church said seriously.
“This IS remote ,dumbass! My hometown is the only one within a one-hundred mile radius of anything!” Lina said.
“Well, it is NOW,” Ranma said. “There had been ONE other town until those damn Reds and Jason showed up...” Ranma grumbled irritably. “Which reminds me, Church still owes us a meal he's to pay for.”
“Oh, fuck me!” Church’s head slumped down onto the table.
“Hoping we’d forget, didn’t you?” Lina grinned.
“Actually...” Tenchi spoke up. “I still have a lot of cash on me... I’ll pay for the meal...” He said in the usual stupid caring sort of way that he lived by.
“No, no! Cockbite here buys,” Lina said waving her hand.
“Oh, fuck you.” Church grumbled.
Tenchi snapped his fingers. “Damn it! And I was hoping to talk him out of making me give him piggy-back rides.”
“Face it, Tenchi...” Ranma said seriously. “You’re pretty much stuck carrying Church for the rest of your life.”
Whimpering, Tenchi lowered his head in defeat. “God damn it...”
“Oops! Sorry, Tenchi.” Lina said, realizing she goofed.
“Eh, fuck it! I’ll give the wimp a break for offerin’,” Church grumbled.
Tenchi let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Church! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!”
“Okay,” Pirotess spoke up, pointing an accusing finger at Church. “This is too weird, you being nice. First you all give us a share of the building and now you’ll give Tenchi a break on piggy-backs? Who are you and what did you do with our Bloodgulch bastard paladin!?”
Church sighed. “I guess up until you all remembered I owed money for dinner I was in a good mood.”
Ranma sighed. “I’m gonna regret this... But I don’t mind Church this way... I’ll pay for my own and Brit's shares...”
Tenchi nodded his head. “I’ll pay for mine too... Hell, only one who really has right to get her meal paid for is Lina.”
Church looked at them back and forth. “...I knew there was a reason I love you cockbites,” He said with his usual mirth returned.
“Awww... And here I thought it was Brit’s good looks keeping you with us...” Ranma said. “Or the good luck we had until we added four members and up...”
Pirotess gave Ranma the finger.
“Food’s on!” Luna called setting down several large plates of food.
Ranma’s eyes widened. “FENRIR RIBS!!!”
“SWEET!” Church flipped up his helmet visor so he could eat.
Tenchi’s mouth watered. “SKEESKEE!!!”
“FOOD!” Lina held up a knife and fork.
“SASHIMI!” Britanny drooled.
Pirotess didn't voice her pleasure, but dug in quickly with fork and knife.
Soon it was a feeding frenzy at the table.
Luna shook her head and went back to busing the other tables.
Ranma was chomping on rib after rib, taking the sweet, tender, and succulent barbequed meat from the bone and swallowing without barely chewing.
Britanny mmm’ed at the grilled fishy goodness of her sashimi.
Church was alternating between the ribs and the wabbit. While making sure to not bite into the halberd tails. Those things were sharp!
Tenchi happily tore a leg off his rotisserie Skeeskee and began eating his water-foul goodness. “Hey, Lina!” He said after swallowing a bite. “I’ll trade you my other Rotisserie Skeeskee leg for one of your fried Chocobo’s legs.”
Lina took the leg and placed a fat chocobo drumstick was on his plate
“Thanks,” Tenchi said before he continued eating. The Chocobo Lina ordered smelled too good to pass-up on having a taste.
Pirotess ate her food with more controlled manners than her friends but she was eating a good bit herself.
Half-way through his platter, Ranma held up one of his ribs to Britanny’s mouth.
Britanny chopped down, biting into it, and once the rib was bare to the bone she sensually licked her tongue over his fingers.
Ranma grinned at the sight and feel, and in appreciation, leaned over to kiss her neck. He then went back to eating in his usual style, of course.
Britanny smiled warmly at him before she too returned to eating.
Finally, after a bit, the traveling group had all but decimated their meal, leaving scraps of bone at best, if there were any.
Church leaned back in his chair, holding a mug of ale in his hand, patting his armored belly. “Ahhh... Now that was good.”
Ranma nodded. “Definitely. This place had the best food I’ve ever had in a tavern. REALLY better than the usual fare.”
“That’s one thing about this place, the food is always good.” Lina sighed contently, her belly hanging out over her waistline.
Ranma smiled at that. "I wonder who the cook is...”
Little did Ranma know it was...
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(Posted Thu, 05 May 2005 23:32)
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