Ikuko Tsukino knocked softly at her daughter's door.
"Usagi? It's dinner time. Are you coming?" she asked.
"Eh?" Usagi answered through the door. "Oh, thanks, mom, but I'm still busy with this. Don't wait for me, I'll eat later."
Ikuko sighed. "It's alright, daughter, we don't mind waiting for you," she said. She hated to put that kind of pressure to her, but it was the only way she could be sure that Usagi wouldn't forget to eat dinner. And it was a way to remind her that her family still loved and cared for her.
She had always wished for his daughter to become more focused. She wanted her to take the world seriously.
Now, she just wanted her old, carefree Usagi back. Since the savage assault on her childhood friend, she underwent a lot of changes. From shock to depression to an intense determination she still couldn't understand. At first, when she saw that Usagi started to read newspapers, she feared that she might have been trying to locate the attacker on her own, but she was convinced otherwise when she discovered Usagi also was starting to ask questions about politics or ecologic problems.
It reminded her about her old friend, Chihase, shortly before deciding to volunteer to work with Amnesty International and leave to Sudan.
She should be proud of her if her daughter did the same (after she finished her studies, of course), but she knew that she wouldn't bear to lose her for good. And if she forbade her to leave, she would lose her respect and love forever.
Still, Usagi is very attached to her friends, god bless them. She hoped that it meant that she wouldn't want to leave them, and perhaps she would decide to stay in Japan and work as a policewoman, a social worker, or even in politics. If she could just convince her that she could also help the world from here...
************
Usagi let her head hit the table with a thud. She couldn't do it. She was destined to create a happy Crystal Tokyo, but she still couldn't do it.
At first, she thought that healing the world would be easier than defeating Beryl. After all, she had been the most evil being created in this world, right? The bad things in the world couldn't surpass her, right?
Wrong.
What had started as a naive way to decide which things should be mended and in what order, had ended in a very depressing picture of the evils of this world. Corruption, wars, slavery of all kinds, racism, the destruction of the planet, crime... it was too much to deal with those one by one.
Then she tried to learn how a perfect society should be. If she could create that, all the bad things would disappear. She asked the school librarian books about utopias, but...
Why was humanity that afraid of utopias? 'A brave new world' reminded her that there WOULD be unhappy people even in so-called utopias, like the Black Moon family, and '1984'... she couldn't bring herself to finish it. Every tale she had read about utopias had hidden costs, weaknesses, or were even worse than the current society.
Just purifying the humanity was not the way to do this, now she knew that. They were too afraid, and... she started to have doubts about the whole thing.
But how would she be able to refuse to do anything? If she did that, every evil in the world would be her fault.
She couldn't take it anymore. She needed advice. Tomorrow...
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(Posted Tue, 26 Apr 2005 10:44)
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