How to Tame an Amazon-Wu: Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke!" [Episode 143999]

by Wyrm

"Chee-tit-tit," came Cheetit's moan of pain as she emerged from the rubble of a retaining wall. As she drew herself to her full height, Kaoru matched her, thrusting her big, pointy stick at her, ready for action. Confidence on her side, knowing that she could beat a Fighting type. Not only that, she was facing the very same PokéGirl she had beaten not a few minutes ago. Cheetit was sure that she could beat Kaoru, just as long as Team Bong didn't tell her to execute another…

"CHEETIT, Rocket Lunge and Tackle!"

"Tit?" squeaked the Cheetit weakly. She saw Kaoru's face split into a wide, ear-to-ear grin. "TIT! CHEE-CHEE-TIT!!"

"Holy Megami! Do you actually kiss your mother with that mouth?" asked Kaoru, eyes wide, but her stance still tight.

"What are you waiting for, Cheetit?" asked Cheech. "Get to it!"

"CHEETIT!"

*LUNGE!*

Cheetit went in for another lunge to take Kaoru down in a tackle and eventual spin cycle. The problem? Kaoru had been distracted the last time Cheetit performed this move on her, and she never saw the move before. This time, Cheetit had neither advantage.

As Cheetit rocketed toward Kaoru, at the last moment Kaoru twisted out of the way, letting the attacking cat-type PokéGirl pass her by. This allowed the Amazon-Wu to counterattack with her bokutou.

*WHACKO!*

"Cheetit's down, Cheech," said Chong.

Cheech tapped his scruffy chin. "I don't understand it. It worked last time. Why not now?"

"Because, if you keep using the same attack against an opponent," began Kaoru, then lunged into a rush with bokken ready to deliver a blow to Team Bong, "she learns to counter it, you ninnies!"

*BONG!*

Team Bong sailed up, blasting off into space riding a giant, smoking, ballistic bong. (No, please don't ask where the giant smoking bong came from. It will blow your tiny little minds.) "LOOKS LIKE TEAM BONG IS UP IN SMOKE AGAIN!" the stoned duo shouted as they vanished into the distance, the wisps of smoke from their departure dissipating into the wind.

"Feh. What a bunch of annoying idiots!" grumbled Kaoru as she

• carries Kenshin back to the Kamiya Dojo and Brothel for treatment of his abused groin. Of course, being a PokéGirl, there is a strong possibility of naughtiness on the part of Kaoru.
• revealed the purpose of her patrols. "I was looking for the PokéKiri Buttfuckousai," said Kaoru.
  "Um, don't you you mean the 'Hitokiri Battousai'?" asked Kenshin, looking somewhat queezy.
  "No, it was definetely the 'PokéKiri Buttfuckousai'," answered Kaoru firmly.
• turned her attention to a piercing whistle. "A police whistle! I have to go!" shouted Kaoru, and rushed off. Recovering somewhat, Kenshin lurches after her, to find her facing a large man claiming to be the 'PokéKiri Buttfuckousai'. Kenshin has great misgivings about (re)claiming the name.
• goes down on Kenshin right then and there! "Oro!" squeaked Kenshin, thinking that this wasn't the worst fate to suffer.
• goes down on the abandoned Cheetit in front of Kenshin's buldging eyes! …or she does something else. Your choice.

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(Posted Fri, 29 Jul 2005 19:02)

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