‘Whoa, that’s some weird shit,’ the reborn martial artist thought was he felt his fur being tugged every which way by the firm, yet gentle, rubbing.
Ranma thought about that. ‘Fur? What the hell?’ He stopped thinking about that when he noticed that there was people talking, and that he wasn’t seeing anything.
‘Ack! I’m blind!’ anguished Ranma, who began squirming around weakly. ‘And I’m weak, too!’
“Hey, this little guy’s a fighter!” a loud booming sound echoed in Ranma’s ears.
“Yeah,” another voice from the gods reverberated, “I guess it took him some time to really wake up.”
After a while, he then realized that he hadn’t opened his eyes yet, which would explain the perpetual darkness. ‘Ah, there we- ARRGH! Bright light! Blind again!’ He tried to explain this in actual vocalization, but his as of yet untrained vocal cords were only able to convey cries.
“Aw, don’t cry…” a weak voice crooned softly, “Gina, are you done yet?”
“Yeah, I’m done cleaning him. The fur’s probably going to smell though until we give him a bath,” the second voice said, as Ranma felt himself being lifted and carried. He then found himself wrapped in a blanket, and placed onto a very soft pair of pillows. When the currently addled martial artist turned newborn found that a new pair of arms and hands were cradling him, he just had to wonder why someone would put pillows on their chest, and why the pillows were so damn warm.
Damn comfy, though.
“Looks like the little guy’s trying to look around.”
That was true, Ranma agreed, and thus opened his lids again, this time slowly. Bit by bit, the new world was revealed to him…
… As a very grey and metallic place. He saw that there were quite a few machines around, doing whatever the hell they did, and quite a few people, too. He could see six people, four of them in some green gowns or something that looked like what surgeons wore. Two of them were blonde women, one a giant of a woman with a black stripe running through her right eye, the other a small woman with glasses. One of the men, wearing the gown, was a grey haired man, and the woman with red hair that stood next to him was much more muscular and tougher looking. Another woman stood by, though Ranma was put off guard by the fact that she was wolfish looking and had brown fur. The last, another man, though wearing a yellow shirt instead of the same gowns that everyone save the furry woman, was too furry, though he looked very human, save the orange and black stripes, and was holding another baby wrapped in a blanket. All of them had varying features of awe and wonderment on them as they surrounded him and whoever was holding him.
“Wow, his sclera are really blue, Brittany,” the smaller blonde remarked as she leaned over to stare Ranma straight in the eye.
“Yeah,” one of the others, Ranma couldn’t tell which, “I think his eyes will be blue as well when he can turn human, like his father’s.”
Ranma felt himself being moved around so that whoever was holding him, his new mother, he guessed, could look at him. Ranma’s infantile body stiffened when he saw the woman who was holding him.
White fur. Weird green eyes. Black stripes running through the eyes. Blonde hair with dark spots. Wide, pointy ears.
Ranma shivered for a moment, before repeating like a mantra, ‘Okay, not a cat, not a cat, just a cat person, not a evil demon from hell, just a weird lookin’… mother?’ Ranma had no time to contemplate that, though, since the stressed out woman purred contently and hugged the newborn to what he now realized was not pillows, but really, really, really large breasts.
“Ah…” the woman sighed happily. “They’re both so cute…”
‘Both?’ Ranma soon began to realize what was going on. ‘Okay, so Death sent me to be this weird cat lady’s son, and I have a sister?’ he thought incredulously. His mental eyes narrowed. ‘If my sister turns out to be some kinda “Ranko-clone” thing, I’m gonna be very upset.’
“So, you already named your daughter ‘Tiffany’… ‘Target’Gia’,” the brown wolf woman thing stated, obviously thinking that the name was rather strange, “… So what are you going to name your son?”
Ranma’s new mother, Brittany, Ranma supposed, thought for a moment. “Hm… hey Muffin, how about we name him after you? ‘Stryyp Spot’Gia Junior’?”
All of the adults and Ranma stared at her with disbelieving eyes. ‘Man, if I’m called that, then I’m gonna…’ Inspiration then struck Ranma, and he began bawling at the top of his lungs.
The tiger striped man winced, then said to the new mother, “Brittany, I hated that name when I was growing up. Do you think that he will like it any more?”
Brittany nodded, standing against the cries of her son. “Okay, bad idea…” she agreed, and was relieved when the furry child stopped crying. “Okay, a manly name!” she noted, making Ranma wonder if his old mom and his new one were any different. “How about ‘Dick Champ’Gia’?”
‘Oh, you have to be kidding me,’ he thought as he followed the tactics of the father of one of the bitchiest women he knew.
The tall, busty woman clucked her tongue. “Jeez, first ‘Stryyper’ then ‘Dick Chomper’. D’ya hate this kid or something?” she remarked, earning a small thwap to the head by the red-headed woman.
“How about ‘Wally Krespie’Gia’?” The intensity of the cries increased, causing the mother to mutter, “Jeez, picky, aren’t you? What about ‘Nordstrom Bryan’Gia’?”
Ranma stopped crying to figure out that name. Brittany blinked several times. “Hey, do we have a winner?”
A few more seconds pass before the bawling began anew. The old man shook his head as he chuckled. “Well, Brittany, looks like your tactic of naming your son after stores doesn’t work as well as it did with Tiffany.”
Before the offended cat woman could respond, the red-headed woman spoke up. “You know, when Gina was born, I had a name chosen for a boy as well as a girl.”
Stryyp, the man that Ranma was surprised to find out was his father, raised an eyebrow. “Any name would be good at this point, Julia,” he remarked jokingly.
The tough looking woman, Julia, smiled. “If I had a boy, then I would have named him after my great grandfather,” she reasoned. “How does the name ‘Ranma’ sound?”
Ranma stopped crying in surprise, which in turn astonished everyone. “Well, sounds like a winner,” the furry woman noted.
Brittany thought for a moment, then looked Ranma straight in the eye. “Okay, how’s this? ‘Ranma Sax’Gia Diggers’.” After a few moments, Ranma had not shown any signs of disapproval, which everyone took to be acceptance.
“Well, I guess it’s sticking,” Stryyp noted as he placed Ranma’s sister next to the newly christened boy. Brittany sighed as she shifted her arms so that she could hold both of the children easily.
The old man patted the mother on her shoulder. “It’s been a long day, daughter. You and your children need some rest.” Ranma could only agree, as he closed his eyes and fell asleep almost instantly, not yet realizing the huge impact this new life would have on him just yet.
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(Posted Tue, 26 Jul 2005 01:38)
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