"Get off of me, you #$%*$@^ hairballs! Get off!!"
Of course, being buried under a mound of Tribbles in a mass cuddle would be enough to bother even a lesser man.
"Lockheed! Off of my face...NOW!"
Add in a small, hyperactive dragon who decided to get in of the action and was currently licking Logan’s face was just the icing on the cake for the mutant.
SNIKT
Despite what the many enemies (and even the few friends) Logan had made throughout his long life thought of him personally; they could all agree on one point. The 'Wolverine' was one of the most deadliest fighters in existence...and that wasn't even considering his (in)famous beserker rages.
"GGRRAAAHHHH!!!"
Of course, even a beginner in the art of fighting could tell you that it didn't matter how good you were if you found yourself without any leverage...such as being buried under a mound of amorous, purring Tribble and one dragon.
In the back of Logan's rage filled mind, there was only one thing that could make his situation worse. And, since the Multiverse and many of the Beings that inhabited it had a perverse sense of humor...
"Dog-pile on Logan!!"
Shaking the overly friendly dragon from off of his face, Logan was able to see the rapidly approaching blur of blonde hair. "Don't even think about it, firefly." he growled out.
Coming to a stop, the blonde blur resolved itself into the form of Usagi, Faerie Dragon and Avatar of Bahamut. "But Uncle Loooogggan...."
"No but's kiddo. Get these's hairballs off of me."
"What's the magic word?"
"NOW!" The mutant growled out as Lockheed reclaimed his place on Logan's head.
Barely able to see, Logan noticed Usagi pull out a file and begin to check her nails seemingly without a care in the world. After a full minute, Logan muttered a few choice words under his breath before he finally spat out, "Please!"
"Anything for you, Uncle Logan!" Usagi chirped happily before returning to her natural form; a small dragon with rainbow colored translucent wings.
Lifting her snout, the Faerie Dragon trilled out a cheerful melody. The effect was instantaneous as every Tribble in the room immediately stopped purring. Fluttering above the floor, Usagi began to drift towards the door as the Tribble began following the Fey beast.
As quickly as the assault on the mutant began, it was over as Usagi began to play a game of 'Pied Piper' with the balls of perpetually pregnant piles of hair. Sitting up, Logan quickly looked around for someone to vent his anger on. However, the only thing he saw was the tip of Morag's tail as she slithered out of the room.
"I guess those Tuxedo clad idiots do have a brain after all." Logan muttered to himself as he ran a hand through his graying hair and followed the procession through the halls of the Serenity Star. Coming from an Earth that had been infected by a version of the Legacy Virus that had destroyed nearly all life on the planet had left its mark on the mutant.
Gray hair on his head and age line's on his face left him looking older than him many analogs; a result from his Healing Factor devoting it's energy to fighting off the virus, were the physical indicators of what he went through. As for the mental...the memories of seeing the many people he knew waist away still awoke him in the middle of the night. Once the last of those he cared for were given a proper burial by his own hand, Logan returned to the Canadian wilds with only the dragon Lockheed as his companion. A chance encounter with an Away Team from the Serenity Star looking to re-supply had offered the mutant a choice; although it wasn't much of a choice.
Roaming the Multiverse with a crew of beings who were half-baked under the command of a reincarnated-princess-turned-Dragon-Avatar with the emotional maturity of an eight year old or roaming the wilds of Canada with periodic encounters with the likes of Apocalypse, the Juggernaught, or shudder Deadpool.
No, it wasn't that much of a choice at all.
Arriving at the Tribble's habitat, Logan saw the last of the balls of fur disappearing back into its home as Usagi settled onto the floor; Lockheed resting comfortably on her head. "Why do we keep those...things on board, firefly? There more trouble than their worth." the mutant growled as he glared at the reinforced enclosure.
"But Uncle Logan...they’re cute!!!" Usagi pouted, an amazing feat for a dragon.
"Well, I won't be responsible if the next time they escape if they are accidentally shoved into the garbage unit and are dumped into space."
"You're so mean, Uncle Logan!!" accused Usagi as Morag made an entry on her ever-present PDA.
"Excuse me, Usagi." Nodwick's voice came from another hidden loudspeaker. "Now that the code 321a has been resolved, I have to inform you that, during the confusion, a code 127d occurred."
"A code 127d?" Logan asked, making a fist and extending his claws. "We're being invaded by an army of genetically altered goldfish searching for the Holy Sunken Pirate Ship?"
"No, I know that one!" Usagi said excitedly, "That's a code 491c. And it's their Holy Bobbing Dive Suite, not Holy Sunken Pirate Ship. A code 127d is 'a group of woman are hailing us trying to find one of my brothers.'!"
Coughing politely, Morag interjected. "No Usagi. That is a code 001a. A 127d is 'the Kender have gotten into your stash of pixie-sticks and are currently doing a reenactment of our encounter with crew of the Macross; including the burning of an effigy of Minmei'."
"Why does everyone hate Minmei?" Usagi suddenly asked, blinking her reptilian eyes in confusion. "I just love her performances."
"I'd rather sit through a reading of Vorgon poetry than listen to her sing again." Morag muttered.
"ahem" Nodwick's voice interrupted again. "A code 127d is Kender related. Specifically, a 127d is 'an unauthorized launch of an inter-planetary ship piloted by a Kender'."
Everyone looked around in confusion for a moment before Logan took an experimental sniff of the air and noticed a familiar sent was missing. "Where's Jubilee?"
"So, that was the last time you saw Usagi, right?"
"For the last time, Minako. YES!"
"Alright, I'll be on my way. Oh...one more thing..."
"Stop with the Columbo impersonations and take off that ridiculous trenchcoat!!"
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(Posted Mon, 08 Aug 2005 17:16)
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