An electric hush consumed the area. Even the crowd that gathered to watch the spectacle Ranma was making of herself fell silent, not wanting to miss a word as the pigtailed martial artist stood with a doe caught in headlights expression on her face.
"I said, what are you doing?" The short haired girl repeated, gritting her teeth slightly.
"I, um, well you see, I was at the dojo talking to my pops. Then, Happosai-"
"Oh, enough already!" The blue haired girl cut her off in exasperation.
"Wait, Akane, let me explain."
"Oh, don't worry, Ranma. There's no need to explain." She said with strained sweetness.
"There's not?"
"Of course, not. With you, these things happen all the time." She seemed calm, but the vein in her forehead said otherwise.
"Wow, Akane. That's very reasonable of you. Usually, you just start kicking and punching like a rabid gorilla." Happosai, who had, until then, remained a silent observer from his position still clinging to Ranma's bra straps, started whispering "Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!" as loudly as possible while franticly tugging on his reigns. However, that didn't stop Ranma from continuing, "Acting this way, you almost seem feminine."
The vein in her forehead vanished completely, and she smiled so strenuously that it looked more like a grimace. "But, if you want to do perverted things with Happosai..." She said raring back a fist, "then, by all means, do it somewhere else!" And, she smashed her with an uppercut that sent both martial artists hurling toward the horizon.
Later, in an empty lot on the outskirts of Nerima, the two martial artists faced off again.
"Well, Ranma-chan, now that you've tried on one of my silky darlings, I would be happy to train you." The old gnome said as he rubbed the pilfered garment against his face.
Cringing each time the geezer touched the bra, Ranma turned away. "Whatever, old freak. Just leave me alone, I can handle this myself."
"FOOLISH BOY!" a panting Genma cried out as he finally caught up with the pair. "Show proper respect!" pant "You'll need the master's help..." wheeze "If you're going to save your loving mother!"
"Yeah right, Pops." She said, glancing towards her father with disgust. "Like I could learn anything useful from that perverted geezer."
"How wrong you are." Happosai interrupted standing straight and serious, with his arms crossed. His credibility was somewhat hindered by the way he wore the blue lacy bra on his head like a pair of cat ears. "Know this, none of the skills you have are enough to ensure victory when it comes to fighting mutants! Because..."
He paused for dramatic effect, and the two Saotomes leaned towards him in anticipation.
"EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT THE MARTIAL ARTS IS WRONG!" The old man shouted, holding a wireless microphone and posing dramatically!
Ranma only stood in shock, while Genma appeared to be doing his impression of the painting "The Scream."
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(Posted Sat, 22 Oct 2005 20:21)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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