by Kwakerjak
Whenever Kuno was confronted with a new situation, he always reviewed what he knew so that he could formulate a proper response. As getting slammed into a wall by an angry underclassman was something he’d never even thought was possible before today, he proceeded to perform such a review while the other students at Furinkan entered the building.
Tatewaki Kuno held these truths to be self evident:
- I am Tatewaki Kuno, rising star of the high school kendo world and Shooting Star of Furinkan High. (Given)
(However, Kuno was thinking about revising this truth, as “Shooting Star” just didn’t seem to command the respect amongst the student body that it used to. At the moment he was considering “Blue Thunder” for his new name—it seemed to have an air of power that “Shooting Star” lacked.)
- I am the paragon of manhood, that is to say, the best of my type. (Given)
- I deserve the best life had to offer, in all cases. (Given)
- Akane is the best of her type, (e.g., young women worthy of romantic encounters. (Given)
This lead him to the following conclusion:
- I deserve Akane. (3,4)
True, there were those that claimed that Akane did not reciprocate these feelings (including Akane herself), but Kuno had an answer to that:
- Everyone desires that which is the best. (Given)
- I am the best; therefore, Akane desires me. (2,6)
Kuno had absolutely no doubt concerning the truth value of these statements—they simply couldn’t be incorrect. Of course, they also led him to this realization:
- Everyone desires Akane. (4,6)
Of course, this wasn’t strictly true; it was only every man who desired Akane, since Nature did not intend for women to desire other women—those that did were disgusting, perverted deviants (though there was nothing wrong when two women feigned desire for the purpose of stimulating the attention of a man—particularly when that man was Tatewaki Kuno). Still, given Kuno’s definition of “desire,” statement number 8 could be restated as:
- Given a choice between Akane and every other female for a romantic encounter, non-deviant male will always choose Akane. (Definition of “desire”)
But this insolent peasant, this “Ranma” as Nabiki had called him, not only claimed to not desire Akane, but to have chosen her eldest sister Kasumi instead!
- Ranma is male. (Given)
- Kasumi is female. (Given)
- Kasumi is not Akane. (Identity)
- Given the choice between Akane and Kasumi, Ranma chose Kasumi. (Given)
- Therefore, Ranma is not a non-deviant male. (9,13)
- Therefore, Ranma is a deviant. (10,14)
When Kuno finally came to this conclusion, he gasped in shock. A deviant? Spending time around Akane? Kuno shuddered as his mind conjured up images of what “deviant” males did—or what he was pretty sure they did. And they wanted to do it with each other—worse, since he was the best of his type, and they desired his type, they wanted to do it with him! He could not allow it! If this “Ranma” spent too much time around Akane, he could corrupt her, rendering her no longer be the best of her type!
True, Kuno briefly questioned how expressing one’s interest in a woman could be proof of a man’s desire for another man, but he pushed that aside. After all, his logic was irrefutable. With that, he picked up his bokken, and charged into the building determined to rid Furinkan of this deviant menace.
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(Posted Thu, 16 Mar 2006 02:33)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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