The sight of her neighborhood normally filled Akane with comfort, but today it was merely an impetus to go faster. On this day, of all days, she couldn't be late, as it would mean that the sort of disaster that one never really recover from would happen. It wasn't that she had meant for things to go in this direction, but then again, she hadn't expected anything major to have happened at all.Unfortunately, that hadn't been what had happened when she went to help someone who'd helped her. She'd thought that she could do it all by herself, and she didn't realize that people would be that displeased with her heading off into the woods. But even when they had come, she had merely focused on what was the immediate problem, and not truly thought of the consequences. As far as she was concerned, she was there to help her friend, and that was all there was to it.
Shinnosuke was okay, and things were peaceful again in Ryugenzawa. Yet, despite the fact that Ranma had come along in search of her, he'd been instrumental in helping her friend. There was no doubt in her mind that had she merely asked for him and Ryoga to come with her in the first place, things would have gone much smoother. However, doing things without thinking, as she had done, had resulted in what was basically an unmitigated disaster for her.
If only she'd realized how badly she was going to screw up. Then she would have been able to stop herself before it was too late. Instead, she'd started a chain of events that had brought her to having to run. With a single slap, she'd signalled what could be the death knell for her relationship with Ranma, and the problem was that he didn't even do anything to deserve it. As soon as she hit him, she realized that he couldn't have known about Shinnosuke's illness, and hadn't even tried to take advantage of it. But she'd rushed in, and reacted before he could even look like he'd do it.
Even after they'd managed to deal with the Orochi, he'd refused to listen to her. Rather, he'd kept his distance, so that even the attempts to make him know that she was apologizing couldn't reach him. He was clearly putting an emotional wall up, and had said that he 'understood' her now. The damned thing was that he didn't know that it had merely been an instinctive reaction to the possibility of a sick friend being hurt, and not a rejection of him.
He thought it was one though, and she couldn't understand why it would hurt so bad. Sure, she'd said that she didn't like him at all in the heat of the moment, but that was just an angry reaction. This was like someone had slammed a fist into her gut and squeezed her heart until it couldn't beat. She didn't know if this was even something that she could imagine was 'love', but as the panic that she was losing him set in, she had to admit that she did care.
Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to tell him so. Once he had the chance to do so, he'd headed off back to the dojo, leaving her behind to be with Shinnosuke, even though she wanted to go home with him. He'd pointed out that she'd come all this way for her childhood friend, and so she might as well stay with him, since she cared so much for the guy. And before she could even really argue with him, he'd left, without even really saying 'goodbye'.
That was why she had to get home as soon as possible. She didn't want to let him do something dumb, which was more than likely what he was going to do, given what he thought had happened. If only she could catch up to him, then she could make him see the truth, and not have him go off on some half cocked idea of martyrdom. Her only goal was to get him to understand that Shinnosuke was just a friend, and that there was nothing 'romantic' between them.
Seeing the front gate of her family home, she let her hopes rise that he'd be there. Their fathers wouldn't let him go so easily, and that would give her the buffer of time that could only help her. Then she'd simply have to explain things to him, and they could settle the situation down.
There was no desire for subtlety at that moment, so she slammed the front door open and charged into the house without even kicking off her shoes. "Ranma! Ranma! RANMA!"
Storming upstairs, she headed over to the room that he shared with his father, only to see that no one was in it. Concerned, she started popping open the doors to the other bedrooms to no avail. Realizing that he was not upstairs, she went back down to the first floor, and looked around the base of the stairs before racing into the family room in the hopes that he was there having something to eat.
What she found was her sisters and the two fathers sitting at the table, looking grim.
"Where's Ranma? Didn't he get home already? Don't tell me that I beat him here.... Is he in the dojo?" she babbled, feeling a sick ball of dread drop into her belly.
Wordlessly, Nabiki handed a piece of paper over to her, keeping a cool expression on her face the entire time.
Half confused, and half worried, Akane looked down at the words on the page, and recognized the scrawl of the handwriting.
Akane's found someone that she really likes and wants to be with, so I guess the engagement's off. Since that's the case, there's no reason for me to stay, so I'll be going on a training trip. Thanks for putting up with me.
-RanmaReading those words, the martial artist sank down to her knees without even realizing that she did so. All of her attention was on those words, and she couldn't really absorb them. Having Ranma gone was something that she'd thrown out there all those times, but she'd never thought that he'd ever really leave. But now he wasn't going to be there anymore, and it was all because of her actions.
In that single awful moment, she realized that Ranma Saotome had been driven away from her, and it was all because she didn't think before she reacted.
As soon as her eyes opened, Akane shot to a seated position, letting the blanket that had been covering her fall to her lap. Darkness surrounded her, and the peek of moonlight that she saw revealed that it was still night time. Glancing around, she recognized that everything was still as she left it, and she realized what had happened.
That dream had come to her again. It seemed to need to ravage her mind every night lately, and she couldn't escape it. Sleeping meant dreaming of that awful scene, which always awakened her to where she was panting from the intensity of it. Getting her breathing back under control just took some effort, but the sensations from that dream continued to hold onto her.
Rubbing at her face, she wondered if she'd get used to them. They were clearly not simple things, and she was finding it hard to put them in their proper place. All that she did know was that she was not getting a good night's sleep in recent days.
As she sat there and tried to calm herself, she:
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(Posted Wed, 02 Aug 2006 03:42)
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