"You're problem isn't so bad," said Soun Tendo.
"Hel-LO," said Asuna. "He's ten years old!"
"This is our ghost Sayo, she died when she was fourteen," said Soun. "This is Yuna, and this is Kazumi, and this is Yue, and this is..."
"Soun," interrupted Genma. "These are ALL your daughters?! How many?"
"Well, ahem, yes," admitted Soun. "Thirty-two. Different mothers but..."
"You da man, Soun," said Genma. "Well, the boy's GOT to like one of these with this many."
"You mean the boy who just snuck away?" asked Asuna.
"So when he grows up, he's going to have the most powerful magical genes of this generation?" asked Konoka. "Cool!"
"That doesn't matter," said Setsuna, drawing her sword. "Nothing personal, but in order to avoid having to marry such a one..."
"Just let it go, I'll marry him and that'll solve your problems," said Ayaka. "He just needs someone to nurture and guide him until he's old enough."
"N-no," said Nodoka. "He's already my husband, sort of."
"No, the shielding... the comic radiation will flood the entire building," said Chao Lingshen, trying to reach the knife switch.
There was much screaming and shrieking and running around in circles as various girls tried to escape the audience area.
"So... heavy," said Asuna, her skin and hair taking on a shade more similar to iron.
"Under... statement," said Negi, currently pinned under Asuna.
General Hammond turned a flat look towards an orderly. "Do we have ANY explanation for this?"
"The ha'tak crashed because someone drove a tourbus into the command center," said Captain Tsubasa. "It appears they ran over Apophis, though the Goa'uld got away with a few broken bones."
"Class 2-A, follow me," said Negi, leading the class down the ramp from the Stargate.
"Never ever ever trust 'Hibiki Tours' again," griped Chisame.
"Oh, I don't know," chirped Konoka. "Can't say it wasn't different. At least we got some souveneirs."
"Tuxedo Negi!"
"We have to use a party of four," said Ayaka. "Since Negi-sensei is our teacher and guide, I feel that as a cleric of Sune it is necessary I be part of the group."
"Why four?" asked Asuna.
"More than that and we'll scare away all the low-level monsters and attract the really nasty ones," said Yue, sipping on a Potion Of Wisdom.
"Let 'em come, I could use a snack," said Evangeline with a particularly evil grin.
"According to the Astronomy Club, the star positions indicate that this is the year 1250 BC, and we're in a bit of a pickle," said Negi Springfield.
"Well, duh," said Asuna. "That means we're late for returning to campus!"
"Uhm, actually that means we're early actually," corrected Ayaka. "Like a couple of thousand years."
"That's okay, actually," said Evangeline. "I can wait."
"Well, not everyone can do that," said Asuna. "Hey! That means I'm not late in returning this library book."
"I think she left her brain in the future," said Ayaka, triggering another spate of name-calling and hair-pulling.
"Hello, I'm Lieutenant Commander Negi Springfield of the training ship U.S.S. Hibiki!" said the little boy. "I know I look young to you, but that's only because my species only ages roughly a year for every human half-decade. Now if you'll follow me, we'll see to your billeting."
"WAIT!" said one of the cadets. "Isn't Commander Takamichi in charge?"
"Oh no. Not at all. He's off on assignment right now and he'll be rejoining our ship but in charge of a different group," said Lt. Cmdr Springfield. "Because I'm the new teacher I got foisted off with the low academic score students."
"WHAT?! How can this little shrimp be our teacher?!" demanded Asuna.
"Like he said," interrupted Yue, "it's because your grades are so bad."
"AGHHHHHHH!" declared Asuna.
"Negi! I am your father!" said the black-armored figure.
"No you're not, my father was taller, and had better hair, and didn't have asthma," said Negi.
"I'll prove I'm your father," said Darth Vader, reaching up for his helmet.
Negi swallowed nervously. Could it be?
"Fooled ya, boyo," said Evangeline as the armor melted away.
"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Negi, running away.
"..." said Evangeline.
"He got away, Mistress," pointed out CCM-01.
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(Posted Tue, 24 Apr 2007 23:22)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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