“Well, this is the address—what do you think, Ranma? Does it look familiar?”
“Kinda… I guess…” The still-female martial artist looked around the property where his mother lived; the Saotome home wasn’t particularly notable when compared to the homes around it. Make no mistake, it was obviously a nice place, and the fact that Nodoka had been able to maintain ownership over the years implied that she was relatively secure financially, but it certainly wasn’t a high-end property like the Meioh residence. Still, as Ranma mentally reviewed the faded images of her boyhood memories, a few things started to pop in to place. “Yeah… that tree…” she said, pointing towards one corner of the property. “I used ta climb that tree all the time—fell out a buncha times, too. Man, it looks almost as big as I remember it. Maybe even bigger.”
“Well, trees do tend to grow faster than humans,” Ranma’s pink-haired companion observed.
“Guess ya got a point there,” Ranma admitted.
The redhead walked up to the door and rang the bell. As she’d hoped, it was answered quickly—but the person answering was a chartreuse-haired woman in a silk pantsuit, instead of the auburn-haired woman in a kimono that Ranma had expected. “Hello, Ranma! You come in?”
Ranma took her stepmother (that’s what she was, right?) up on that offer, following the Amazon into the home’s foyer. “Oh, hey, Tissue. Is Mom here?”
“Sorry, Ranma. Nodoka not here right now—at her job.”
“Huh? Mom’s got a job?”
“What? You think she somehow manage to feed herself and pay property taxes without money?”
“Uh, no, it’s not that—it’s just… I don’t really have any memories of her bein’ anythin’ other than a housewife, ya know?”
“Guess that make sense.”
“So, uh, what does she do?”
“Tissue not sure. Nodoka try to describe, but Tissue not entirely understand. She seem to like it very much, though.”
“Well, that rules out being a diplomat,” Chibi-Usa muttered a bit louder than she’d intended.
Tissue finally noticed the pink-haired girl who’d arrived with her stepson. “Oh, you girl staying with Tendos—um… Tissue sorry, but not remember name.”
“Chibi-Usa.”
“Thank you. How Tendos doing?”
“Oh, just fine—things are finally starting to settle down, and I think that Soun might be starting to accept that Ranma won’t be marrying one of his daughters.”
“That good—Grandmother say there no point in worrying over thing you can’t change. And… husband?”
“Genma… well… he’s…”
“Pops is still bein’ Pops,” Ranma finished for her friend, “which means he not only hasn’t accepted that I can make my own decisions, he’s also in a funk about the whole ‘becomin’ a woman’ thing.”
Tissue sighed. “Well, Genma not seem like type of person to change mind overnight anyway. But enough of that. Why you stop by?”
“Well, I kinda wanted ta talk ta my Mom… well, that and maybe get some hot water.”
The Amazon smiled at her female (at the moment) stepson. “Well, Tissue can take care of second part, at least. Should not take long—Nodoka have hot running water.” The way Tissue’s eyes lit up made it clear that she found this to be one of the more fascinating amenities of the Saotome home. “Please, sit down.”
A few minutes and one glass of hot water later, the discussion continued. “So, Ranma, is there reason you need to talk with mother? Nodoka give Tissue number to use if important.”
“Well, I didn’t really have nuthin’ specific I wanted ta talk about. I just wanted ta spend some more time with her, ya know?”
“Tissue understand.” It was to be expected, after all. One could hardly fault someone for maintaining an interest in one’s formerly estranged mother for more than one night, after all. (Besides, Tissue still wasn’t entirely certain how that “telephone” gizmo actually worked.) “Ranma should spend as much time with mother as possible—make up for lost years.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was thinkin’—though there is somethin’ else…”
“You tell Tissue, or this private matter?”
“Not really…” Ranma recounted the details of the errand his wife had sent him on, and the dead end at Crazy Ichiro’s. “So, basically, I have no idea what this stuff is—I was kinda hopin’ Mom might know.”
“Well, maybe Tissue can help. What stuff called?”
“Uh… ah leu cha, or somethin’ like that.”
Much to Ranma’s surprise, Tissue’s eyes immediately lit up in recognition—though it wasn’t exactly enthusiastic. “That name of traditional Amazon recipe! How Setsuna know about that?”
“I dunno. Same way she knew about that soap stuff, I guess. She seems ta know a lot about you guys—I first learned about the Amazons from her, in fact.”
“But how could outsider know about Demon’s Milk?”
“Demon’s Milk?”
“Yes. That best translation of ‘ah leu cha’ from Amazon dialect.”
“Uh… okay. Why do they call it that?”
“Demon’s Milk is creamy white sauce, used on all sorts of food. ‘Demon’ part come from horseradish that grow only in area around village. Extremely hot—not want to eat by accident. Amazon only use it in Ah Leu Cha sauce, so it also called ah leu cha.”
Ranma smiled—this visit was turning out to be quite productive indeed. “Great! You wouldn’t have any with ya, would ya?”
Tissue had looked uneasy since the conversation had turned to this topic, but at this question, she became positively scandalized. “Bring ah leu cha to Japan? For outsiders? Does Tissue look like that kind of person?”
“Huh?”
“Amazons no share Demon’s Milk with outsiders—ever! Is one of tribe’s closely guarded secrets. That why Tissue want to know how Setsuna know about it.”
“What’s so bad about it?”
“Nothing bad, just… embarrassing. You see, ah leu cha is traditional aph… aphr…”
“Aphrodesiac?” Chibi-Usa helpfully volunteered.
“Yes, aphrodisiac. Gets partner in mood really quick.”
“Why?” Ranma asked. “Is it ’cause of the horseradish?”
“No, nothing like that… it get partner in the mood because thickening agent is… well… kinky.”
“How can a recipe be kinky?” asked a perplexed Chibi-Usa.
“Well, Tissue tell you how ‘Demon’ part come from horseradish, yes?”
“Uh huh…” Ranma replied.
“Well… let Tissue put it this way. ‘Milk’ part comes from real milk, but not from cow.”
“What, ya mean like goat’s milk?”
“No…”
“Maybe a yak?”
“No…”
“How about sheep?”
In contrast to Ranma, Chibi-Usa had figured out what the Amazon had implied almost immediately, and by now, her face was almost as pink as her hair. “Um, Ranma, I don’t think it’s from an animal.”
“What’re ya talkin’ about? All milk comes from animals. It can’t very well come from a plant.” It might not have been his favorite subject, but Ranma did recall a few things from biology class.
“Well, when I said ‘animal,’ I wasn’t including one of the more intelligent species.”
“Dolphins?”
Chibi-Usa fought the urge to slap her forehead; the Ranma from this time obviously had yet to acquire the skill of quickly and accurately interpreting subtlety. Clearly, a more direct approach was needed. “It’s breast milk, Ranma. Human breast milk.”
“Oh, well that explains a l—breast milk?!”
“That why we not serve ah leu cha to outsiders—or to those in tribe who not sex partner, for that matter.”
“But… how could Setsuna know about it, then?” asked a bewildered Ranma.
“That what Tissue want to know.”
Though Chibi-Usa knew what was likely the real reason why Setsuna would know of such a closely guarded secret, she also was able to think of one that would allay the suspicions of the others in the room until that truth could be told. “Well, you said that you also called that horseradish ‘ah leu cha,’ right? Maybe that’s what Setsuna wants, and not the sauce—maybe she’s just interested in traditional Amazon cooking, and simply wants to have that ingredient available to use. I mean, is the horseradish only used for that specific sauce?”
“Well, Tissue not sure, but maybe. Radish very spicy on own, after all—maybe nearby tribes have other recipes, and Setsuna just confused.”
“That’s gotta be it. I mean, Setsuna knows a lotta stuff about a lotta things, but it ain’t like she’d know about that, right?”
“Achoo!” Setsuna took out a handkerchief and wiped her nose. “Ugh… ¥500 says that was Ranma.”
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(Posted Mon, 17 Jul 2006 03:49)
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