(Writer's Note: Many kudos to Kender, Kestral, Jamil Nate, Saint Fan and WarChild for their work that led to this! G.)
As Professor Hiroyuki Moreau's "lemon flu" was wrecking total havoc in Nerima, other parts of Japan were slowly being infiltrated with the invisible plague Akane brought back from the island laboratory.
Case in point: the town of Tomobiki.
Before Nerima became the nation-wide epicentre of weirdness, Tomobiki had held that title. Site of both Tag Races between the people of Earth and the Onis, it had endured almost everything imaginable, from aliens of almost every type to giant mushrooms, from a marauding private business army or two to levels of lecherous behaviour focused on the female gender that those like Happousai or Ryou Saeba could appreciate well.
However, in the wake of "TR2," as locals called the Second Tag Race, things had calmed down to a state of...! Well, normalcy! And for people used to daily doses of the abnormal, that certainly WASN'T normal!
Never fear, fair citizens of Tomobiki.
You ain't seen nothin' yet!
Case in point: Ataru Moroboshi.
Now, when one mentions this young man's name, the automatic first reaction -- often, the ONLY reaction! -- from those in the know of events in Tomobiki would be spitted words such as "Lech!", "Idiot!", "Perverted jerk!", "Loser!", "Cancer of Tomobiki!" and the like. And, sadly, yes, he deserves all these titles. In fact, it often seems as if he actually REVELS in being put down in such a vicious, embarrassing faction.
The truth, dear readers...?
Often IS stranger than fiction.
Let's look in on him, shall we...
A normal school day in Tomobiki High School, a three-floor, H-shaped building dating from the 1920s, having been reconstructed frequently in the last two years for numberous reasons. Students stream in for another day of lectures, study halls, times in the gym and after-school activities. The first odd sight one would note right away is the profusion of "cold" masks over many people's mouths, boys and girls alike. Coughing, sniffles, sneezing and sore, dry voices further emphacize this point.
"Ohayou gozaimasu, Lum-san!"
Floating a half-metre off the ground as she glides into school is a lovely, green-haired girl with turquoise eyes now sitting over a white mask, two golden horn-buds sticking out of her upper forehead. As she daintily lands on the front walkway, she gazes on the four young men who had greeted here. "Ohayou, minna," she tries to smile, then sneezes.
"Ara?!" Aisuru Megane, self-appointed leader of "Lum's Bodyguards" and the Oni's number one fan in Tomobiki, walks up. He is clear-faced, though his three companions can't claim that. "Looks like you got this flu, too, Lum-san!" he gives her a sympathetic smile. "Are you alright?"
"Not really," Lum tries to sniff her nose clear, then blinks, her eyes turning to the gate as a slender man with shaggy brown hair and deep brown eyes walks onto the grounds. "Ohayou, Darling!!" she waves.
"Ohayou, Lum," Ataru returns her wave, then heads towards the school. Like Megane, he has no cold mask over his mouth.
The bodyguards watch him go, their barely-contained outrage quaking them from head to toe. "Figures he ain't sick!!" Daremo Kakugari snarls.
"Idiots DON'T get sick, remember?!" Shitto Paama reminds his friend.
"Got that right," Urayamu Chibi mutters under his mask...
What?
What's that, you ask?
Ataru and Lum arriving at school SEPARATELY?!
"This is wrong!" you say?
Be patient, readers. It'll come clear soon enough...
"Ohayou, Ataru-kun!"
"Ohayou, Chigaiko-chan," Ataru waves as he walks into Class 2-6, greeting the small group's lone female member, Chigaiko Inu (who, like Ataru, had once been a part of Class 2-4 with Lum et al).
Chigaiko is also maskless. "Looks like the flu missed you," she smiles, her brown eyes twinkling amusedly as he takes his seat.
"Looks like it," Ataru sighs, then glances at one of the dozen boys who called this class their homeroom. "Got you, eh, Kei-kun?!"
"Yeah, it did," muffles from beneath Kei Kusanagi's mask. "You better watch out here, Ataru-kun! This is a nasty one!"
"I'll have to keep it in mind, then," Ataru smirks. "It got Lum."
Everyone blinks at his declaration. "What?! You mean Miss 'I'm Always Right and Perfect' Lum is SICK?!" Chigaiko smirks.
"You bet," Ataru nods.
"Thank the gods she's in Class Two-Four," Ichigo Morono, another masked victim of Professor Moreau's flu virus, muses. "She's an alien. Who knows what'll happen if this flu decides to mutate inside her body!"
"She was probably innoculated against that before she came to Earth," Kei muses as he takes his seat behind Ataru's.
"Maybe," Ataru sighs. "Happy to be out of that class, Chigaiko-chan?" he glances up at the lone girl of Class 2-6.
"What do you think?" she snorts, taking her seat...
Now, dear readers, there's no need for that...!
Eh?
"TOO much like The Senior Year!" you say?
Real quick to jump to conclusions, aren't we?
Be patient, please. Explanations are coming...
"Ohayou, minna!"
"Ohayou, Gioo-kun!!" Chigaiko smiles as a man with shiny black hair (without any sort of hair gel) and dark brown eyes walks in, he sitting to the seat on Ataru's right (Chigaiko's was to his left). "Caught the bug?"
"Yeah," he grumbles, then coughs into his mask as he takes his seat, then gazes on Ataru. "You just WON'T believe what just happened to me!"
"What?" Ataru blinks.
"They wrote me."
Silence.
"Who?!" Ataru's eyes widen.
"All of them."
Everyone stares at the salesman's son. "ALL of them?!" Ichigo gapes.
"You're kidding me!" Kei shakes his head.
"Truth," the newcomer reaches into his tunic and draws out twelve envelopes, showing them to Ataru. "They all came yesterday."
Ataru notices the lack of stamps. "Hand-delivered?!"
"Yep. That means they're probably at the ryokan near Tampopo's place," Gioo Shigoozei places the letters on his desk. "That is..."
"If they haven't gone back home yet," Kei notes.
"Yeah..."
So WHAT is going on here?
Well, go...
(Posted Tue, 14 Jan 2003 01:23)
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