Human civilization is a funny thing. Depending on various conditions it can grow and develop in a myriad of ways. Given enough time and resources vast technological cities may push towards the heavens, or with access to the intangible and dangerous forces of the ether magical empires may spread out and flourish. But no matter how humanity chooses to advance there will always be some constants that no civilization will ever be without. The group entering one of the hundreds of mining tunnels of Narshe was one of those constants. No matter how evolved humanity becomes there will always be greed, and with it will be those who will stoop to performing unsavory acts to appease that greed.
"Are you sure there are moogles in this cave?" asked one of the ruffians near the back of the group.
"Yes! Now shut up! Do you want to blow this job?"
In the bitter cold of the northern lands animal furs were in great demand, the finer and rarer the fur the higher the price paid for it. And of all the furs one could buy few were more sought after nor prized than a moogle pelt. Soft as down but thick as a lions mane, these small furs were the must wear of upper class nobles the world over. Add to the fact that they were technically illegal as well made them some of the most prized possessions of many a royal family. The group entering the cave was experienced trappers, they had caught and skinned a multitude of animals and made their living seeking out only the best. When news had reached them that moogles had been spotted in the mines of Narshe they had wasted no time in gearing up and setting out.
Now traveling down the mine shafts the group carefully mapped out and marked their progress, taking note of every turn and every rock formation least they get lost in the maze of tunnels. Checking their surroundings often they were sure to note any and all traces, no matter how small, of their elusive prey.
~clink~
Stopping the group immediately listened to their surroundings.
~glugglugglugglugglug….clink~
Looks of confusion were clear on every face as each member tried to make out where and what the sound echoing though the caverns was.
~kupo! ~
Ah! Now that was a sound that they were familiar with, in fact that was the very sound that they had spent the last six hours searching for! Creeping silently to a near by rock corner the leader of this group slowly edged his way over to spy on the occupants in the adjoining cavern. Taking a good look he could see a hunched over dark cloak chugging down a bottle of something as a small group of three moogles played near by. The glass of the bottle occasionally ringing out as the figure lowered the bottle to the cave floor.
"Great luck, "whispered the leader to his companions, "it looks like a small family right around the corner, two adults and a small child, though there's something else there. I'm not sure what it is but it looks like some lost miner or something. If we're lucky these moogles already trust humans, bagging them will be a breeze! All we've got to do is knock out the miner and we're set!" Grinning in return each member readied their clubs. Walking calmly out, the small group set out to greet the strange collection of inhabitants in the next cavern.
"Hello there, are you lost by chance? We were trying to find a good vein but got turned around, man are we glad we found you!" Putting on his most cheerful face the leader raised his hand in a small wave ready to distract the lone miner while his companions slowly moved to block all the caverns exits. Perfect! The dumb moogles did seem at ease with human company, other than a little tensing all three seemed to stay near the hunched figure instead of bolting for it.
"Hmm?" pulling back its hood, the figure looked up towards the voice. Bloodshot violet eyes gazed at the entering group as a pair of delicate soft pink lips parted as she took in their appearance. Her alabaster skin was slightly flushed and colored her cheeks a beautiful rose color as her black hair with violet highlights framed her head in a wild fashion yet still giving off the impression of being perfectly styled. Crowning her head was a tiara of expensive design and make; all in all she was the very picture of desire and beauty to every man there, the only conceivable flaw being the ridiculous red makeshift yarn `pompom' ball hanging from a wire attached to said tiara.
"Who tha' hell are yooou?" slurred the still hunched figure, clutching her cloak around her body to ward off the cold. All right, make that two flaws, but to these men drunkenness was actually preferred in their women.
Jaw hanging open the leader silently thanked every deity he knew, finding a family of moogles was incredible luck, finding a babe like this in a freaking mine shaft was a damn miracle! "Uh, hey, what's a fine woman like you doing in a place like this? Me an' my friends here were just looking for a way out, you and your pets here game for a little exploring?"
Ignoring the lame attempt to start a conversation with her, Naga the white serpent looked over the group. There were five of them and four had begun to move towards the exits around the room before they had stopped to gawk at her. The leader of the group was currently the only one standing in front of an exit, that being the cave that they had all come from and they all had unusual bulges in their pants. Naga was actually quite familiar with pant bulges, and while each man was sporting the usual tale-tale sign of desire it was the other bulges that held her attention for the moment.
~hic~ "Wha' arr yhou plning on doinnng wif those nasty `ittle clubs, hmm? Yhou an't the fihrst ones commin' in tryin' to hurt mah subjects. Dho yhou know who I'm be? I'm Nahgah! Queen of the Kupos! OH HO HO HO! OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!!"
Standing up the self proclaimed `Queen of the Kupos' raised the back of her hand to her mouth as she let lose a peal of mad glass shattering laughter, her pompom `crown' bobbing wildly. Standing beside their `queen' the family of moogles joined in, each one raising a paw to its mouth and laughing along side Naga. "Ku Po Po Po! Ku Po Po Po Po Po Po Po Po Po!"
Pointing a gloved hand towards the invading group of trappers Naga gave her `royal decree', "Now mah `ittle ones, Dansh!" Nodding their heads the three moggles immediately leaped forward and began to beat their feet and pump their arms in a strange little dance.
The plan for the trappers had been simple, block off all the exits, knock out the sole human, and kill the moogles before they got a chance to perform their Dance attack. While devastating, especially in the enclosed quarters of the cavern, it was easy to neutralize it if you were fast enough to attack them before they could pick up enough speed.
What they hadn't planned on was for the sole human to be an incredibly gorgeous drunken loony. And what they really hadn't counted on was that when said loony stood up her cloak had flown open revealing acres on acres of bare skin covered only by huge shoulder spikes and a black leather bikini that would have been outlawed in 28 countries had any woman been inclined to even touch something so skimpy in public. And as for the figure contained in that tiny outfit?
~Boing!~
It could be safe to say that not one of them had expected THAT!
~Boing Boing! Jiggle Boing! ~
And they certainly hadn't anticipated anything remotely like the possibility that once the moggles had started to dance that the drunken figure would jump in and join them!
~Boing boing boing jiggle jiggle wiggle jiggle boing wiggle Boing! ~
So as the rocks rained down from the cavern roof, not a single member of the doomed trapping party made one move to protect them selves as they watched the display before them. As he watched, the leader of the group could only gather enough energy to give one last final thought, "Damn, what a way to go…."
Looking over the remains of the un-named group of trappers crushed under a ton of rock Naga threw her head back in triumphant joy. "OH HO HO HO! OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!! Onsh agan' Nahgah th' Queen osh tha Kuposh has triummppshed, trumpshpseked, triumphftededed, me am winner!" Reaching down Naga raised her last bottle of `Dragon Slave Moonshine' (when you absolutely have to slay every last brain cell in your head) to her mouth ….and promptly passed out.
Looking over the collapsed figure the moogle family gently covered her with her cloak and began the task of building a small fire to keep her a lot warmer than the liqueur could. They had met the strange creature when she had stumbled upon another group of trappers in the middle of skinning their eldest child. Upon seeing the weeping and crying family of moogles and the bloody corpse she had immediately proceeded to hurl up the entire contents of her stomach. When one of the men had approached her trying to calm her down he made the mistake of reaching out to her with a blood stained hand; rather than fainting, Naga had screamed like a little girl and kicked the man solidly between the legs. After seeing their comrade go down the other two advanced on her. Raising her hands Naga began to chant, waving her hands around wildly and crying out several unintelligible words like "Vigarthagaia" and "Vu Raywa".
To the moogles nothing had seemed to happen, but looking around they noticed that their human executioners had stopped their advance to stare are the wildly gyrating girl. Coming to a realization they concluded that she had used some sort of hypnosis dance on them, she could do a variation of the moogle dance!
Seeing that her magic wasn't working Naga had then un-slung the broad sword she had been carrying and commenced beating down the other two trappers. Ever since then the four had been traveling together, Naga offering the moogle family protection against all manner of human danger (all of it being carried out by young straight males) and the moggles helping the strange girl survive down within the mines.
It had been Mama Moogle that had decided that Naga as she called herself wasn't human at all. She may have seemed human, but her `proportions' were clearly outside the range of human possibility. Not only that but her screeching `battle cry' as they thought of it and supernatural tolerance to alcohol were firm indicators that she was some poor monster that had wandered too far north. The poor dear was probably lost and lonely like that nice Yeti fellow in the upper caverns and so it was only proper for them to adopt her into the family and raise her like one of their own. Though it was a bit difficult since she didn't seem to be able to speak any of the monster tongues just yet and their own limited human vocabulary of just the word `Kupo' lead her to believe that they were called Kupos, not moogles. Oh well, if she wanted to call herself queen of the kupos that was all well and fine with them, she could call herself lord high goddess of turnips and they would still love her all the same.
Placing her tired little one on the passed out Naga, Mama Moogle set about helping Papa Moogle find some food. Naga was just so handy to have around, not only could she protect them from the humans (they were still trying to figure out what sort of terrain had allowed her to learn that dance, maybe they could exchange techniques?) but her unique physique made for the perfect bed for the family, why it even came with it's own pillows! Yes, the Moogle family was quite thankful for having met their new charge.
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(Posted Tue, 10 Jul 2007 10:24)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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