“Nothing much,” the evil lawyer said as he relaxed back in a posh leather chair which had appeared from out of nowhere. “I’m looking for an individual who sold their soul using one of standardized contracts some time ago and hasn’t made their payments. The name of the debtor is...” Damien stopped, blinking his eyes. “...Did I say ‘debtor’. Sorry, I’m usually here to collect. The fact is, someone has done so much ‘charity’ for hell, what with all the chaos, destruction, and sins brought forth in others, that we actually OWE this person a refund of sorts.”
“Hold it,” Nabiki spoke up, holding her hands in a t-position for ‘time-out’. “What do you mean someone here is going to receive refund?”
Popping up before Nabiki, his own greed coming to the fore, Genma asked, “Yes! What kind of refund?”
“A fair sort of refund,” Damien told them honestly, (GASP! A lawyer being honest!?) “Seven Wishes.”
“Seven wishes!?” Nabiki shouted. She had expected maybe A wish, but... SEVEN!?
Kasumi, blinked her eyes cutely a few times. “Oh my. Seven wishes? Well, that certainly is generous of you.”
Wincing in pain for a moment, Damien shook his head to clear it. “Don’t say that word.”
“Generous?” Kasumi asked, and noticed Damien twitch once more. “Sorry.”
“Geeze, what’s you’re problem?” Ranma asked the infernal lawyer.
“There are seven words of virtue, when spoken aloud, will stun anyone of demonic origins for a moment. THAT is one of them.”
“...Sorry...” Kasumi apologized again.
Raising his hand, Damien waved at the Tendo woman. “Enough.”
“Excuse me,” Nabiki said, trying to get the demonic lawyer’s attention. “We’re getting seven wishes, right?”
“Actually, the recipient is,” Damien corrected, “And that is-”
“Just WHY are they getting SEVEN wishes?” Nabiki asked. “Hell ISN’T supposed to be generous, and I doubt that you people would give more than three wishes, which are what d’jinni are limited to giving in stories.”
“It’s simple,” Damien said as he eyed the crafty woman. “This person has evoked the at least one of the great seven vices in everyone around them so often for so long, that they’ve technically been doing or work for us. Seven Wishes for Seven Deadly Sins.”
Ranma blinked his eyes. “Seven deadly sins?”
“Yes,” Damien answered. “The first sin, symbolized by the demon Asmodeous, the son of the great dragon, and father of all incubi and succubi. The sin of Lust!” The lawyer smirked at Ranma. “The want of fornication, perversion... depraved thought, unwholesome morality, desire for excitement, and the need to be accepted or recognized by others. Obsessive, unlawful, or unnatural sexual desire, such as desiring sex with a person outside marriage or engaging in an unnatural sexual appetite, like bestiality.” He smirked over at the lost boy who just happened to be standing in the room lightly. “Rape, adultery and sodomy are considered to be extreme lust and are said to be mortal sins. If you go by good old Danté Alighieri’s criterion listed in his wonderful book, ‘Inferno’, he listed it as the ‘excessive love of others’, thereby detracting from the love due to God.”
“Then, there is the second sin, which is the driving force of Beelzebub, the lord of the flies. Gluttony! Great waste, overindulgence...” Damien said, eyes looking all around the room and settling on Genma. “Thoughtless waste of everything, overindulgence, misplaced sensuality, un-cleanliness, and maliciously depriving others. Marked by refusal to share and unreasonable consumption of more than is necessary, especially in the case of food or water. Destruction, especially for sport, like trophy hunting. Substance abuse or binge drinking. It is the excessive love of pleasure.”
Looking away from the lard-ass, Damien then slowly went over to Nabiki. A smile played on his lips as he pat her shoulder. “And then there is the sin housed under the sign of Mammon, the infernal false god of dishonest wealth. Greed! Treachery, and covetousness, the strong desire to gain, especially in money or power. The acts of disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, and treason, especially for personal gain or when being compensated before hand. Scavenging and hoarding of materials or objects. Theft and robbery, especially by violence, trickery, or, worst of all, manipulation of authority. It is a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things.”
Letting go of the now unnerved young woman, Damien had a sinister grin. “Then there is the after-effect of the demon Belphegor, who helps along human discovery, invention, and the designer the Infernal Machine. The sin of Sloth,” Damien, once again, began looking around the room, especially at the two fathers. “Apathy, indifference, laziness, idleness, and wastefulness of time.” The lawyer chuckled darkly as he walked over to and looked down at the two cowering men on the floor. “Laziness is particularly condemned because others must work harder to make up for it. Cowardice or irresponsibility. Abandonment, especially of God. Sloth is a little like a state of equilibrium; one does not produce much, one does not consume much. However, sloth, unlike homeostasis, leads only to despair. It is a failure to love God with all one’s heart, all one’s mind and all one’s soul.”
“And then of course, there is the sin epitomized by our great lord of darkness, Satan, the King of Hell!” Damien suddenly spun around, staring right at Akane! “Wrath, anger, hatred, rage... all are emotional responses to a grievance; real or imagined; past, present or future. Wrath refers to an extreme degree of anger associated with a loss of calmness or discipline, (in the case of human conduct). Often based in a sensation or perception of threat, anger is an active emotion, as opposed to sadness and disappointment which are inactive. In other words, when one becomes angry it is usually with an intended purpose, (whether feasible or not) of attacking the possible cause of the problem. In arguments, anger is often used to suppress opposition.” He licked his lips. “Wrath is often known as the sparks from which hellfire blazes forth.”
Pushing Akane back onto a chair, Damien looked over Akane, staring into her eyes as he continued. “And then there’s the sixth sin, symbolized by the great sea serpent Leviathan, whom was denied its place on land and driven to the darkest depths of the ocean. Envy! The feelings of jealousy and malice. Grieving, spite, and the resentment of material objects, accomplishments, or the character traits of others. Envy is the root of theft and self-loathing. The love of one’s own good perverted to a desire to deprive other’s of theirs. An extreme or alternate realization of greed.”
The lawyer slowly turned from the now shaking Akane. He looked over, giving the pigtailed boy that let him into the house a smirk. “And last, but not least, the seventh sin, the symbol of the dark lord when he was still the angel Lucifer, the morning star. PRIDE! Vanity, narcissism; pride is known as the father of all sins! Pride is a desire to be more important or attractive to others, failing to give credit due to others, or excessive love of self, (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). It if the love of one’s self perverted to hatred and contempt for one’s neighbor. It is the deadliest of all the sins and leads directly to the damnation. Pride was what sparked the fall of Lucifer from Heaven, and his subsequent transformation into Satan. Vanity and narcissism are good examples of these sins and they often lead to the destruction of the sinner, for instance by wanton squandering.”
Chuckling as he looked around at the group of people, Damien continued, “Now, the lucky recipient of this windfall of magic is...”
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by Red Priest of the 17th Order
(Posted Wed, 26 Jul 2006 17:22)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.