“Well...” Akane said slowly, unsure of what to do. When SUDDENLY, she was hit by inspiration! “I know! ‘WWRD’! What would Ryoga Do?”
“Is the Lost Boy even here?” Nabiki asked, looking around.
“Still am...” Ryoga said, waving his hand. He’d still yet to move the spot Damien told him to move over to.
“RYOGA!” Akane cried out, racing over to and carefully grabbing his arm, (had to watch the strength, naturally). “Ryoga I need help! This demon wants to take my sister, and Ranma can’t help because the baka sold his common sense!”
Ryoga blinked his eyes. “What?” He gasped and turned to Ranma, anger apparent on his features. “Ranma, you coward! How could you...” he stopped as soon as he saw Damien waving at him.
“I take it from how the color drained from your face, pigboy, you also sold some thin’?” Ranma asked with crossed arms.
“You... could say that..." Ryoga sighed sadly. “Sorry, Akane. I can’t help you. I already dealt with the devil in order to get this superior strength and these ass-kickin’ fangs...” he admitted. Although he managed to smile brightly as he added, “And it only cost me my sense of direction!”
Nabiki stared at Ryoga. “You sold the devil your sense of direction for strength?”
“I know, it was a tough choice...” Ryoga admitted slowly, but still managed a smile. “But when he said he’d throw in a pair of sharp-as-knives canines, I couldn’t say no!”
“I thought it was a family affliction?” Genma asked curiously.
”It misses every other generation. My parents got it, but not me.” Ryoga confirmed. “Until...”
Ryoga then looked over at Damien.
“Oh for the love of...” Damien growled as he rolled his eyes. Slowly raising his hand, and snapping his fingers, a spigot of Hellfire shot up from the ground a foot away, leaving behind scorched hardwood. Once again, it was Mr. Imp, now with a bandage on the side of his head. The demon lifted the instrument to his chin and ran the bow across the strings, creating his familiar soothing yet nauseating melody.
“Here we go again....” Ranma grumbled as he lifted his right hand and face-palmed.
“As I was saying, I used to be ‘normal’...” Ryoga said slowly. “But it was a sad, sad life. I was... born physically weaker, I was practically Gosunkugi the Second... I could barely run ten feet without gasping for breathe. And without parents around to help me, I felt very lonely...”
“So you prayed for aide, and as always, the helpers of the man in the red suit came calling and you eagerly sold something you thought was useless.” Nabiki put in, feeling familiar with this scenario already.
Nodding his head, Ryoga seemed to brighten up. “Yes! And then Mr. Black showed up and offered me strength, great strength! The kind of strength which would allow me to take care of my problems....” He looked over at Akane. “I was nervous at first, but when he offered me a cool pair of fangs, really sharp ones... I knew it was a good deal!”
Slowly, Akane backed away from Ryoga, looking at him in shock and minor betrayal. The good, kindhearted Ryoga she knew, sold sense of direction to the devil for strength and fangs!? “Ryoga-NO-BAKA!!”
Pulling free mallet-sama from hammer-space, Akane wailed on Ryoga, who was sent sailing clear into Ranma. Both martial artists went through the house wall and into the stone outer-wall, crashing in a painful manner.
“That took longer to execute than I expected,” Genma mused, a massive sweat-drop on the side of his face.
“Akane, you shouldn’t be so harsh...” Soun said, trying to appease his daughter. “So we’ve all sold a little something. It happens. I mean, I too, had to make a great sacrifice...”
Akane’s red aura was slowly returning, and it seemed the mallet was getting larger, but otherwise, silence followed. The Imp just stood there.
“Hey!” Soun cried as he looked at Damien. “Where’s MY melancholy music!?”
“Oh please!” Damien snorted. “If we gave you a sound-track, we’d need a radio station going twenty-four hours, seven days a week!”
“I’m curious as to what Mr. Saotome here has sold to the devil.... Oh, and don’t try the innocent panda routine, Mr. Saotome. We KNOW how you are,” Nabiki said sternly after Genma quickly dumped his water glass on himself and held a sign reading, [I’m just a cute little panda!]
“Oh, he’s technically sold us nothing of his,” Damien said seriously. “But...” The lawyer grinned evilly, (as lawyers often do). “For a four-course dinner, and then a fifty-thousand Yen gift certificate to McDonald’s, I get to tap his wife every weekend. She thinks I’m QUITE manly.”
*WHAMMMMMMMMY*!
Akane, Nabiki AND Kasumi all sent Genma flying past LEO and straight to the moon, thanks to the combination of mallet, over-stuffed wallet, and frying pan; all three giving the simultaneous cry of, “ENEMY OF WOMEN!”
“Ouch... now that he had coming...” Damien said slowly, watching the hole in the roof where the panda exited. The lawyer blinked his eyes as he heard the little imp playing the violin and raised his hand. Snapping his fingers, an anvil fell from out of the sky, falling through said hole, and crushing the imp. This had the effect of making a LARGE matching hole in the wooden floor.
“Oh dear...” Kasumi sighed, making her large frying pan disappear. “I’ll have to call the carpenter now too.”
“You don’t have to do anything,” Damien told her. “You’re coming home with me tomorrow morning anyway. It’s not your problem anymore.”
“Damn it!” The youngest Tendo cried. “There has to be somebody in town who’s not in the devil’s pocket!” She turned to her sister. “Kasumi wait here! I’ll be back with help!” Akane shouted before rushing out of the living room. She hastily threw on her shoes and ran into the streets.
(------)
Wisely, Akane’s first stop was Dr. Tofu’s clinic. Surely, he hadn’t made any devilish pacts. She threw open his door, and yelled for him. “DR. TOFU!!!”
“Yes, Akane?” Dr. Tofu called out from the back, recognizing the voice.
Hearing his voice, Akane ran into his office, panting for breath. “Doctor! You have to help! A demon’s come for Kasumi and most of my family has made a pact of some kind and can’t help! You have to help me!”
“What!? He’s come for Kasumi!?” The Doctor stared wide-eyed. “NO! I’m too late! My deal’s all for naught!” He cried to the heavens as he fell to his knees, wailing.
“...Deal?” Akane exclaimed in shock. “Doctor, you didn’t!!”
Sighing, Dr. Tofu slowly nodded his head. “Akane, I was...” he blinked his eyes as violin music played from nowhere. Looking around, they saw an Imp with a large lump on its head standing behind the youngest Tendo.
Akane’s eye twitched.
“Anyway,” Dr. Tofu continued with the music playing. “I was a poor, poor man when I started out. I couldn’t seem to get any business going, I was going to be a failure and living on the streets... but then a Mr. Damien Black showed up, and offered me a chance to do something with my practice... thanks to him, I’ve become a huge success, and all it cost me was my ability to convey love.” He sniffled. “I learned other ways, but, oh Kasumi! Why couldn’t you realize it was MY way of showing love!”
As Tofu started bawling like a baby, and doing an impressive impression of a lawn sprinkler, the little imp’s tail reached up and offered Akane an umbrella.
Akane took the umbrella, but instead of shielding herself, she used it to bean Dr. Tofu over the head. His body barely finished collapsing to the floor when she ran out in the streets, screaming in rage. “DAMN IT!!!”
(------)
Her options becoming more limited, Akane sprinted toward the Ucchan’s. Granted, running to one of Ranma’s fiancées was something she’d rather not do, but she was friendly enough with Ukyo and preferred her over the Amazon bimbo; plus her sister’s soul was on the line. She opened the restaurant door, storming in as she panted for breath. Raising her head high, she cried, “UKYO! I... *pant* I... need... help...!” She wheezed from running so much in so little time.
Ukyo looked up from her grill, seemingly shocked at the state Akane was in. “Akane? What happened to you?” Normally, she didn’t like the girl, but seeing the woman in the state she was, was more than enough to make Ukyo’s heart go out to her. And besides, “Is something wrong with Ranma!?”
“No... my sister, Kasumi... a demon came... demanding her soul because she sold it to gain her homemaker skills when she was eight....” Akane looked up at the other girl with fear in her eyes. “Ukyo, nobody else can help because they’ve also make pacts! I’ve got no one else to turn too.... Please!” She begged with desperation clearly evident in her voice. “I need your help!”
Thinking about it for a moment, Ukyo blinked her eyes and a look of dread came over her face. “...Please say it wasn’t a lawyer named ‘Damien Black’...”
The color drained from Akane’s face. “Oh Ukyo.... Not you too?” Instead of anger, she sounded like she was about to cry. Her anger was depleting, and the fact she was constantly running into friends, (even those in the loose term) whom made deals with the devil, was making her heart sink as every lost soul meant she lost an ally to save her sister.
“...Sorry Akane...” Ukyo said in genuine sadness and regret. “I was SO angry with what Ranma and Genma did...” she blinked her eyes as violin music started playing, but continued. “When Mr. Black showed up, he offered me a chance to train and become stronger, and as a plus, faster and more elegant skills with cooking okonomiyaki... and all it cost was my ability to normally portray my femininity...”
Akane nodded slowly. Turning away, she then ran out of the restaurant, screaming into the night. “IT’S NOT FAIR, DAMN IT!!!”
Ukyo blinked her eyes, wondering what THAT was about.
(------)
After much more running, Akane half limped into the Nekohanten. “Someone... anyone... please... help...” she collapsed into a chair, her head falling onto and resting on a table. The poor girl was panting for breath.
“What kitchen destroyer doing here?” Shampoo asked as she leaned over to look at the defeated form of the obstacle to her airen.
Akane tiredly spilled everything, starting with the demon’s visit, learning Kasumi’s soul had been sold at age eight for domestic skills... and learning nearly everyone she knew had made a pact. She even ran to her friends at school and found out most of them had made callous deals for some petty goal.
“So, except for the Kunos, who I’d never trust to help.... This is the only place I have left to turn too for help.... Please...” Akane begged. “PLEASE tell me nobody here has made a deal with this Damien Black...” The poor Furinkan student never looked more desperate or haggard in her life.
Shampoo smiled. “Oh, Shampoo know nice man. He give Shampoo great strength and ability to become strongest Amazon of her generation, in turn for letting him pop Shampoo’s cherry,” she told the other girl with pride.
“He’s a great man,” Mousse agreed. “He gave me the ability to warp space around me, letting me create the Hidden Weapons Style. And ALL it cost was my perfect 20/20 vision!”
The poor Tendo girl’s currently fragile faith in humanity was cracking even more. Slowly getting up from her seat, Akane didn’t bother to see if Cologne was clear or also in debt to the devil. She slowly walked out of the restaurant... just not caring anymore.
Walking into the streets, Akane aimlessly wandered about, directionless, before finding a bench to collapse back onto. “I... I can’t.... Everyone's.... Made a deal.... Why...? Why is it I can’t save my sister when she needs me?” Her martial arts skills were useless, brute strength also... and anyone else she thought could help, was unable to. She even crawled to the Azu-Juuban ward to find those Sailor weirdos... only to find out they had contracts too!
And then the violin music started playing, the little imp’s tail reaching up to hold a tissue box towards Akane.
Akane took one, barely even registering the imp, and wiping her eyes. “It’s hopeless...”
“Not necessarily...” came the voice of the man who’d been making things hell for everyone.
Akane just covered her face. “GO AWAY!!! I’m not in the mood to deal with you!” She yelled in a pained and tired voice.
“Even if I’m offering you a chance to save them, if you so desired?” Damien asked. “One way which WOULDN’T include selling your soul?”
Akane suddenly was in the demon’s face, grabbing the lapels of his jacket. “Don’t you dare mess with me.... If this deal isn’t legitimate, I don’t care if you are a demon! I’ll kill you!!”
Damien smiled, completely unaffected of the little girl’s actions. “My girl, you’re forgetting the one thing about me. First and foremost, I am a lawyer!” He told her seriously. “If you want, we can take this to the courts of hell, and you could plead your case for your sister’s soul.”
“...What choice do I have?” Akane asked as she let go. “But... I don’t know of any lawyer who’d take this case....”
“It’s all right,” Mr. Black told her. “If you cannot afford one, a lawyer will be provided for you.”
Now Akane looked even more worried. “...What lawyer or lawyers do I have to choose from?”
“Well,” Damien started to explain, “Your lawyer would be a:”
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(Posted Sat, 15 Jul 2006 03:27)
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