The Blue Thunder was a heroic figure such as was rarely seen in history, and unique in the modern world. Thusly, he knew by heart the forms of the noble quest, and the trials and tribulations the hero must face and master before winning his prize.
The villain would either be a forward, ravening beast, laying waste to the lands and people in person at the head of a great host, in which case the hero must be humble and subtle, traversing the hidden trails of the land to come upon the villain in the place where he was weakest; or the villain was a hidden snake, plotting and scheming in dark recesses which the hero must break open to the holy light of righteousness. In either case, on reaching the place of the villain’s doom, it was necessary for the hero to battle the minions with which he was surrounded before gaining the opportunity to strike at the mastermind behind the evil.
Accordingly, having smitten Saotome mightily, and acknowledging the demon mistress’s challenge (although it disappointed him that she was, obviously, not a master of the phrasing required on these occasions; he would have to exceed even his own standards to compensate), he now lunged courageously across the threshold and charged in the approved sword-over-the-head posture displayed in every samurai movie at the first guard on the left.
Vayu was the second-class Hindu god of Wind and of Life. He had, in his most current incarnation, almost no martial strengths at all, and had taken up the suggestion that he fake an Egyptian guard pretty much for the same reasons that perfectly sane businessmen take up paintballing. Seeing the mortal rushing at him with weapon upraised, he froze.
Then, as the weapon fell, he teleported himself back to his own pantheon.
“Hah! See the foul corruptions dissipate before my power!” exulted Kuno. He turned to the next guard, warning him, “Should you wish to retain your unearthly skin, bow before my greatness and submit! For should you not, there shall be no mercy!”
The guard in question beckoned him closer with a smirk. As Kuno lunged forwards again, Nabiki realised it was much like her own when she found a new sucker.
The guard swirled his khopesh and deflected the bokken away. Then, he stepped in with a backwards slash at his attacker.
Kuno, rolling with the blow (head-over heels across the room, even) used the momentum the guard imparted him to swing his sword masterfully through one of the catheaded demon’s other minions.
Toltiir, who had stopped pretending to be an innocent kitty when he realised that three identical hulking guards made Bastet’s throne room look unbalanced, permitted the wooden weapon to pass through his nature unimpeded, and idly transmuted it into Belgian chocolate for a cheap laugh. Then, with a cry of “Allah Akbar!” he brought his own weapon around in a vicious sweep that would leave the Japanese boy entirely unharmed but would, just incidentally, sever every single tie and fastening holding his clothes on.
Kuno blocked it hard.
With the chocolate bokken.
And Toltiir was so surprised by the effectiveness of this move that he permitted himself to be thrown across the room and out into the roasting desertscape outside.
“Hah! So shall fall all of thy fiendish minions and unearthly familiars, Gross Invader, for I am the True Light of Heaven, descended from the greatest powers of Japan’s Homely Pantheon, the Blue Thunder of...”
Bastet, despite her pleasant reputation in recent centuries, was a quite martial deity when she felt like it. She had also absorbed some of the nature of the animals associated with her, and like playing with her victims. As Kuno was kind enough to stand and pontificate, she slipped silently up and belted him.
Ranma, seeing that stroke, found it disturbingly familiar, although it didn’t come from any martial art he knew of. Akane, Nabiki, and Genma all found it much more familiar – after all, they’d all seen Ranma use it, and Genma had even had Kuno’s view of it a time or two. At least the goddess seemed not to have extended the glowing, insubstantial claws...
Kuno regained his balance as Bastet stalked towards him again, and declaimed, “Such dishonourable behaviour is, of course, to be expected from one who does not follow bujitsu; how, then, do you expect to stand victorious over the rightful deities of the land, of whom I, Kuno Tatewaki, am the appointed champion? For only by adherance to the precepts of virtue mighooof.”
He stumbled across the sandstone floor once again, this time passing within reach of the last guard.
“Yah sure – Balla! Huh, that would work better with a hammer.”
“I fight on!”
The hulking guard who had last spoken reverted to his more accustomed appearance, and weapon, and tried again. This time, Kuno stayed down.
“Oh, hello, Thor! I didn’t know you were helping Bastet-chan these days. How are you? How is dear Sif?”
“I am well, Bell,” rumbled the Viking.
“And I’m over here,” added the more relaxed of the ‘slavegirls’, also reverting to her normal form. “Bastet called for a bit of colour for this little audience, and we were looking for a quick break from routine.” She turned to the young male werecheetah, and asked, “Is this sort of behaviour normal for him?”
“Uh, pretty much, um, Sif-sama?” replied Ranma.
“A-hem.”
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(Posted Sun, 23 Jul 2006 12:18)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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