Ranma and Chibi-Usa emerged from the Saotome home with quite a bit of insight about Amazon culture, but not much else. “Well, this day’s turned out ta be pretty much a bust.”
“I wouldn’t say that—you’ve made up with your father, gotten to know a woman who’s probably going to become a major part of your life, and (ahem) you’ve met me.”
Ranma smiled at Chibi-Usa’s pseudo-egotistical comment. “Yeah, I guess ya got a point there. But since I really can’t do much for the rest of the day, I may as well head back ta Juuban. Ya want me ta take ya back ta the Tendo’s?”
Chibi-Usa glanced at her watch, and then made a suggestion that she had been practicing for quite a while: “Actually, I have to get to Juuban as well—my friends are going to be doing something at Rei’s shrine this evening… you want to come along?”
Haruka took a deep breath; the Inners had all assembled at Rei’s shrine to hear what she had to say (without the mooncats—they were off having some “personal time”). There was no going back now.
Michiru massaged the shoulders of her significant other. “Are you ready, love?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Haruka stepped into the room where her fellow Senshi had gathered. “Hey, everyone.”
A round of greetings followed before everyone got down to business. “So, Haruka, what exactly did you want to talk to us about?” asked Usagi.
“Okay, this is going to be kind of awkward, so just bear with me. As all of you know, I’m a lesbian, and one with a rather… warped sense of humor.”
“So what else is new?” Makoto had intended for that comment to be inaudible, but she didn’t quite succeed in this aim, with the result that Haruka gave her the briefest of glares before continuing.
“Specifically, I have a tendency to make wisecracks about alternative lifestyles. You all know what I’m talking about. I’ve repeatedly raised the possibility that one or more of you might be ‘experimenting’ with other women in the past, but it was all supposed to be playful needling—I never seriously meant anything like that.”
“We, uh, we knew that, Haruka,” Rei replied. “I mean, your sense of humor is, well, it’s an acquired taste that just takes some time to get used to.”
“Uh huh. All right, by a show of hands, how many of you have actually ‘gotten used’ to me continually challenging your sexuality?”
All five girls put up their hands, though from their faces it was obvious that they just wanted to end the conversation quickly.
This is going nowhere. Maybe a demonstration is in order. “Well, since you’re all comfortable with my personality, what say the seven of us break out the strap-ons and have a lesbian orgy right here on the spot?”
This prompted a flabbergasted unison “What?!” from everyone else in the room (including Michiru).
“Just kidding.”
“That’s not funny, Haruka!” Minako said indignantly.
“But you all just said you weren’t fazed by my sense of humor… or were you not being totally honest?”
“I think that we meant that we can tolerate your usual sense of humor,” Ami replied. “Not when you deliberately go to extremes.”
“Ami, by my way of thinking, that was not extreme at all. You want extreme, you should hear my version of ‘The Aristocrats.’ But that’s beside the point. The point is, you guys are uncomfortable with my sense of humor.”
Usagi’s reaction was unexpected, though given the circumstances, it shouldn’t have been. “We’re… we’re sorry.”
“Wha… huh?”
“You should be allowed to be yourself, and not have to worry about offending any of us; we’ll still be your friends even if—”
“Whoa, hold up! You guys are not the ones who are supposed to be apologizing… that’s my job.”
This time it was Usagi who looked confused. “What do you mean, Haruka.”
“I knew perfectly well I was making you guys uncomfortable. Hell, that was the whole point of the assorted wisecracks! I wasn’t trying to be funny, I was trying to make you guys look nervous at trying to decide whether or not you could ask me to stop without appearing homophobic.”
“So that means….”
“I’m amused by the social discomfort of others—but that’s not how you’re supposed to treat your friends. And I’d like to think that you’re still my friends. Can you… will you forgive me? And don’t give me any ‘nothing to forgive’ bullshit either.”
The Inners looked between one another before Ami spoke up. “I really don’t see how we couldn’t forgive you… after all, it wasn’t that mean-spirited, as far as things go.”
“Yeah, and besides, you know what they say: To err is human and stupid.”
“Um, Minako…”
“That came out wrong, didn’t it?”
“That’s an understatement,” replied Rei, who then turned her attention back to Haruka. “So, what does this mean?”
“Well, I’m not sure… I could just drop the joking altogether—”
Usagi nixed that idea right away. “No, that’s too much. Your sense of humor is part of who you are, and you should be able to express it.”
Rei seemed reluctant to agree with this. “That may be, but something has to change.”
It was then that Michiru entered the conversation. “Well, as I see it, Haruka has a difficult time knowing when she’s pushing things too far, and you’ve been reluctant to tell her when she has out of some misguided effort to maintain political correctness.”
“Which I don’t really give a rat’s ass about in the first place,” Haruka added.
Michiru gave an inscrutable glance at her lover before continuing. “So I think that the five of you should feel free to tell her when she’s gone too far without feeling guilty about it.”
The Inner Senshi murmured amongst themselves for a themselves for a few seconds before Rei spoke up. “That sounds like a good idea.”
“So, we’re still friends?” Haruka asked.
“Obviously,” Makoto replied. “That was never in doubt.”
Usagi moved to hug Haruka before the androgynous blonde stopped her. “No offense, Princess, but that hug would likely have turned into a group hug, which in my book is the perfect setup for an ass-grabbing joke—not exactly the way I’d like to start over, if you know what I mean.”
“An ass-grabbing joke?”
“You know, like ‘I usually only let Michiru touch me there,’ that sort of thing.”
“Oh.” Considering the conversation that had just occurred, that would have been awkward indeed. “But Haruka, I’m curious about one thing… why did you decide to tell us now?”
“Mostly because I advised her to do so,” came a familiar voice from the shrine’s entrance.
“Setsuna? What are you doing here… and why are Hotaru and Mamoru with you?”
“They’re here because I told them to come along with me.”
“But why?”
“Because it’s important for everyone to be able to discuss sexuality in an open, honest manner.”
“Yeah, but why now?”
“Because I have a lot to tell you tonight, but first, I need to make sure you all can handle a particular piece of information.”
“And that is?”
“I’m bisexual.”
The Inners’ response was predictable: slack-jawed silence.
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(Posted Mon, 31 Jul 2006 06:22)
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