Eventually, Minako managed to squeak a response out. “Y-You’re bisexual?”
“I believe that’s what I said.”
“As in, you h-have sex—”
“Not quite. The word ‘bisexual,’ as I use it, means that I am capable of having a strong physical attraction to persons of both genders—but you could be easily forgiven for assuming that it just referred to the physical act of sex. After all, there are so many different definitions of ‘bisexual’ that confusion naturally arises; some people define it in a way that makes bisexuality psychologically impossible, while others define it in ways that make it applicable to almost every human being who’s ever existed. But if you’re asking if I have had sex on a somewhat regular basis with both men and women over the past 20,000 years, then the answer is ‘yes.’ And in case you’re wondering (and some of you almost certainly are) no, I have not slept with Ranma in his female form yet.”
“But what does that have to do with us?” asked a perplexed Moon Princess.
“Only that I’m not sure the five of you have seriously thought about this issue—no, I’m not saying that any one of you is gay or bisexual, but on the other hand, I’m not going to confirm anyone’s heterosexuality either. Rather, I think that it’s a question everyone should honestly ask of themselves, but you may have dismissed the possibility because none of you have personalities that are even remotely like Haruka’s or Michiru’s, and were likely scared away from asking those question by the discomfort Haruka’s joking caused.”
“I think I understand,” Rei said. “It’s like one of those self-discovery things, right?”
“Something like that. It may sound hokey, but I really believe that if you ask yourself questions like that honestly, you’ll have a better understanding of who you are. And that, in turn, will improve your ability to help others. And after all, that is the whole purpose of being a Senshi, isn’t it?”
“Senshi?” The new voice drew everyone’s attention towards the entrance of the shrine, where an athletic young man with his hair in a pigtail was standing next to a pink-haired teenager.
Setsuna’s surprise, if it even existed, was rather mild. “Hello, Ranma. You and Chibi-Usa arrived a tad bit earlier than I expected.”
“Well, Ranma sort of lost interest in Ah Leu Cha rather quickly when Tissue told us exactly what went into it.”
“Darn. I was hoping it would be a surprise when I made it.”
“What is it, Setsuna-mama?” Hotaru asked.
“Not right now, Hotaru—this is definitely not the time for that.”
“Uh, Setsuna? You were sayin’ somethin’ about Senshi?”
“Ah, yes. Of course.” Setsuna cleared her throat before beginning. “Ranma, there’s something you should know about me—I mean, other than my bisexuality. I’d give you an in-depth explanation of why I haven’t told you about it yet, but I think you would be better served if I was to show you what’s going on, rather than telling you.”
Ranma didn’t have a clue what his wife meant by that. “Huh?”
Setsuna simply smiled, pulled her rarely used transformation pen out of its subspace pocket, raised it up, and shouted, “"Pluto Crystal Power, Make Up!"”
It had been a while since Pluto had used her full transformation sequence (there was so much less hassle using the shortcut, after all), but she felt that this instance merited the dramatic effect that could only be truly accomplished by spinning around nude in a light show. Unfortunately, she’d forgotten to take into account that her husband wasn’t nearly accustomed enough to the sight of her unclothed body to think of it as anything other than “naked” yet. “Ranma, in addition to being Setsuna Meioh, I am also… um, Ranma?”
“Agolgarabaogga….”
“I think he’s still processing the fact that you just got nekkid in front of everyone in the room,” Haruka offered by way of explanation. “And the fact that that seifuku is pretty revealing in and of itself probably isn’t helping.”
“Ah, yes. That would do it, I suppose.” Setsuna turned back to her husband. “You’ll have to excuse me, Ranma, but after you’ve been alive for more than 20,000 years, you just don’t attach the same amount of importance to modesty.”
“T-twenty thousand years?”
Happy that her husband’s higher brain functions appeared to be starting up again, Pluto responded. “Yes, twenty thousand. You see, Ranma, I’m Sailor Pluto, of the Sailor Senshi, and my status as the Senshi of Time grants me, among other things, a limited form of immortality.”
“Senshi? As in, the girls with Sailor Moon?”
“Yes. We’re charged with the protection of humanity from the forces of Darkness. Basically, anything that people can’t handle through normal means—demons and the like—gets handled by us.”
“You… ya were at the mall.”
“When you were attacked, yes.”
“But… ya don’t look any different! How did I not recognize you?”
“Well, to put it simply as possible, when we’re in our Senshi forms, a magical field is generated that subtly encourages those who see us to not make the subconscious connections required to make a positive identification. That’s a vast oversimplification, but it will have to do… right now, the rest of us have to reintroduce ourselves.”
“The rest of ya?” It was then that Ranma noticed two things. First, that nobody else in the room seemed that surprised that one of their friends had transformed into a magical girl, and second, that nearly everyone was pulling out a short rod like the one his wife had. “Ya’ve gotta be kiddin’ me….”
“Believe me, Ranma, we wouldn’t kid about something like this,” Usagi replied before she (along seven other young women) lifted up her own pen and shouted her own transformation phrase. The actual reintroductions that followed were more to allow Ranma some time to process all the information than for any identification purposes (although this was the first time Ranma had seen Sailor Saturn).
The martial artist sighed and rubbed his temples before turning his attention to the other two non-transformed persons in the room. “Okay, so do you guys have any nifty little tricks to show me?”
Mamoru responded using his magic to create a rose ex nihilo, and transforming into his own magical knight costume. “I’m Tuxedo Kamen.”
“That was a lot faster.”
“Yeah, I guess it was, wasn’t it?”
“Right. Now, what about y—”
“Wait up,” Sailor Mercury interjected, “that’s it? That’s your entire conversation?”
“Should there have been more?” asked the man in the tux.
“Well, yes! You could have told him about your relationship was to Sailor Moon, or your status with regards to the rest of the Senshi, or—”
Uranus cut her off before she could continue. “Mercury, not everyone has your natural curiosity. Besides, most of their conversation was in ‘guy-speak,’ so they’ve actually done a lot more communication than you realize.”
“Guy-speak?”
“Yeah, I’m completely fluent—I couldn’t pass for a guy otherwise. Trust me, Ranma knows everything he needs to know about Tux-boy right now. Poor guy’s on the verge of information overload as it is anyway.”
“Yeah. What she said,” affirmed Ranma. “Now, what about you, Chibi-Usa? No way in hell you ain’t connected ta all this.”
“You’re right, I certainly am. I’d do my own transformation, but I’ve been asked not to do that unless it’s an emergency for the time being.”
“Uh-huh. So what are you the Sailor of? Some comet or somethin’?”
“No, I’m Sailor Moon.”
“Oh. Well that’s interestin’ I gue—waitaminute, I thought she was Sailor Moon.”
“She is… at this point in history.”
“At this point in history?”
“Uh-huh. You see, I’m Usagi and Mamoru’s daughter from one thousand years in the future, when they’re King and Queen of Crystal Tokyo.”
“Huh? Whaddya—no, wait, on second thought, ya can tell me later.” Ranma turned back to his wife. “Okay, so… what does this mean for us?”
“Well, that really depends on what you decide to do. Granted, there are a few things you should know. For example, as the Senshi of Time, I can use an artifact called the Time Gates to view every event that has happened, is happening, and could happen in the future—but there are several notable exceptions, with you being the most prominent one.”
“Huh?”
“She can’t look directly into your past, present, or future because your life is more chaotic than Quintuple Coupon Day at Crazy Ichiro’s,” Uranus helpfully clarified.
“Oh.” Ranma could easily live with that—it was kind of nice to think that his wife got to know him the old-fashioned way. “So… you said that I had some sorta decision ta make?”
“Well, there is something I’d like to take care of tonight—most everything else can wait until you’ve had time to get used to the idea of being married to a superheroine.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“Well, as I mentioned, I am, for all practical purposes, immortal. You, on the other hand, aren’t. Fortunately, Sailor Moon should be able to use her magic to bond your life to mine. Now, there are a few disadvantages—”
“Sounds good. Let’s do it.”
The suddenness of Ranma’s decision took Pluto by surprise. “But I haven’t explained everything yet….”
“Ya don’t need ta, ’cuz I’m gonna do it anyway. Setsuna, this is one of those no-brainer things. I really don’t care what possible disadvantages it might have—the only one I can think of would be havin’ ta watch people I care about grow old an’ die, but as long as I’m with you, it won’t matter.”
Mars was impressed—well, somewhat impressed. “You know, that would have sounded really romantic if you hadn’t been so blasé about it.”
“Yeah, well, it’s the truth. Look, Setsuna, is this gonna be dangerous.”
“Probably not—but there’s a chance it might interact with your curse…”
“Didn’t I just say I don’t care? If yer willin’ ta do it, then I am, so go ahead an’ drop the ‘emotionally detached conveyor of knowledge’ routine already.”
Pluto smiled… she’d forgotten that Ranma knew her well enough to know when she was covering for her own worries (in this case, of the possibility, however remote, that Ranma might refuse to spend eternity with her) by playing the all-knowing oracle—probably the only person who knew her that well, in fact. She stepped up to her husband and embarced him tenderly. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Awww….”
Pluto would have glared at the source of the noise had her eyes been open. “That had better not have been sarcastic, Uranus.”
“Um, actually, that was me,” Jupiter admitted. “And it was genuine,” she added after a pause.
Pluto reluctantly let go of her husband. “From you, Makoto, that kind of reaction could hardly be anything but legitimate. But we’re losing the focus of the conversation; right now, I’d like to make sure I can spend the rest of my life with my spouse.”
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(Posted Fri, 11 Aug 2006 20:48)
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