Now while Ranma had experienced many weird sights—most of them based off the last twenty four hours, since no one expected a Goddess described as Amaterasu to out-drink Soun and follow it up with karaoke of “Dirty”—it was safe to say that the one before him was ranking up in the Top 100 and climbing.
Akane blinked. “Those are rabbits?”
“Maybe?” shrugged Ranma.
“And the Kendo Team is attacking them?”
“Looks like it.”
“But why are they picking on cute little rabbits?”
Nabiki gawked as one “cute little rabbit” leapt up five feet, bit into a thick kendo stick, and shattered it, before proceeding to try and eat it.
“They eat almost as fast as you do, Saotome.”
Ranma nodded. “Maybe they’re cursed, like Jusenkyo?”
Nabiki turned to him. “Have you ever seen a rabbit do that?”
“Well, I was watching that one historical show about a search for some legendary cup. This rabbit seemed to take out men one right after the other.”
Nabiki felt her migraine return with a vengeance. “Let me guess, it was done by Monty Python?”
“How’d you know?”
Nabiki shook her head. She would explain it to him later; and hopefully before he turned in a report on the Life of Brian.
“You know,” said Ranma, “this won’t look good on the inspection report.”
Akane nodded. “Should we do something?”
“Nah,” said Ranma. “Let the furry little things have their fun. It’ll make ‘em nice and plump.”
“And then?” asked Nabiki, wondering where he was going.
“Well, we did get that new large freezer for Kasumi, and rabbit meat is definitely pretty tasty.”
That caught Nabiki’s mind. A lot of people considered wild meat a good delicacy. Now, assuming that these rabbits were edible, then they would have a good meat for Kasumi to make, saving them a bit on their food budget. She could even sell the extra to the Nekohanten and Ucchan’s for a small profit. Surely the customers would try and like rabbit with the usual specials.
Besides, with Genma gone, they might actually have the ability to keep food in their before the panda ate it. It wasn’t like there was anything else that was in there.
Sasuke tried as hard as he could, but he was frozen pretty well in that freezer, almost into a complete block.
Perhaps I should not have stayed hidden until Master Kuno gave me the signal.
Akane was looking at the dashing rabbits, her new cheetah instincts finding the scene, very ... salivatingly erotic. It was taking some self control—yes, she did have some, she just chose to rarely exercise it—not to change back into her hybrid form and dash after them.
Of course, that would only last until Ranma went after them. Then all bets were off.
Ichiro Sasaki had been a member of the Investigation Board for almost two decades. In that time, he and his team had investigated many different kinds of allegations. And while many had proven to be nothing more than students trying to achieve some small measure of vengeance against those in authority who had stood against them, the ones that were true were often amazing.
That was not to say they were always fully reported to the public. No family wants to here about their child or family member involved in filming students in the showers, or prostitute rings run by the Principal, or even a group of the student body trying to resurrect a dead demon through sex rituals.
So, he was pretty certain he had “seen it all”, and that nothing could surprise him.
At first, he had been surprised by the arrival of a young girl, whom he thought might have been an advanced placement student. But then she picked up one of the weird rabbits that had popped up, grew into an adult with a low-cut dress, and went into the school.
This was followed by a young boy, strangely pale, trying to keep those same rabbits from eating a half-gone doll that was wearing one of the school uniforms.
And finally, there was the Kendo Team, gathering close to the entrance, planning on “stopping the foul sorcerer and proving their worth to the Mighty Blue Thunder”.
To Ichiro, it seemed like the team had become a bullying group and were planning on attacking some student. Early reports had not mentioned any sorcerers or anyone at this school with any magic potential.
But of course, this third incident lead to the fourth, as the rabbits began to attack the Kendo gang.
As he and his team began to scribble notes on their pads, Ichiro could only sigh. “I get the funniest feeling that this is only the tip of the iceberg.”
In the Principal’s Hut/Office, Goucho Kuno stood before his amassed troops, consisting of barber-trained monkeys and crabs, preparing to send them off to war.
It was a good speech, if you understood Hawaiian being butchered as only Kuno could do.
But for the sake of the author’s sanity, he will not write it, for fear it will create copy-cat barbers.
“Man, they have to be here somewhere,” said Sailor Mercury, scanning the last area they had been able to detect the rat youmas.
“Maybe we should wait until they reappear?” asked Jupiter.
“No,” said Sailor Moon. “We must stop them now before they can hurt anyone else.”
“You’re just saying that so you can skip school,” said Sailor Uranus.
“Well, that too.”
While the others were upset at the youmas on general principle, Sailor Neptune and Moon had other reasons.
Most notable were the nasty spells/habits that Sailor Saturn and Chibi-Moon had picked up.
“Man,” said Saturn, “I wish they’d just show up so we could kick their &%#@% butts.”
“Yeah,” said Chibi-Moon, “no ^#%$^& mercy!”
Mercury was about to try and stop the parents of those Senshi from yelling at them again for language unbecoming a Soldier of Love and Justice, when the Mercury Computer beeped. Her eyes went wide. “INCOMING!”
The group dived to the side, as an object descending rapidly from LEO collided with the pavement.
“HOLY *@^#%!” cried Saturn and Chibi-Moon at the same time.
In the hole, the perverted Grandmaster of Anything Goes slowly sat up. Now while he had considered it a great day in the fact he was able to grab the very blessed lycanthrope’s bra, he realized that the other female was very sensitive about her own chest size.
“Wowza!” he cried. “She hits almost as hard as Akane-chan. I’ll have to be careful not to underestimate her strength again. I didn’t have time to check out what her panties were like.”
Looking around, he noticed a group of girls in school fukus just staring at him. The urge returned, as he saw some more “blessed” members of the group, and attacked with his battle cry. “SWEETO!”
“ACK! PERVERT YOUMA!”
And thus, the were-rat trio made the Sailor Senshi their eternal enemies.
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(Posted Mon, 07 Aug 2006 00:49)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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