The rather bizarre scene – of the valiant defence of the school by the kendo club against refugees from a Disney movie – was broken when one of the wabbits recognised a familiar presence. It broke off its determined attack on the fourth in command of the club (leading the right flank of the defence) and turned to lollop curiously towards the gate.
In doing so, it became the wabbit’s first casualty of the day, as its erstwhile victim took the opportunity to slam his bokken down and split its head asunder, but it did draw the attention of some other wabbits.
Many of those wabbits had also passed through the enchantment circle before Gosukugi managed to rescue his doll of Akane, and also turned towards what had attracted their decapitated companion.
“Um, are those things looking at me?”
“Actually, Saotome, I think they’re looking at Akane.” Nabiki shifted cautiously, and noticed that only a portion of the horde of little monsters followed her movement. “If you don’t mind,” she said slowly, “I’m going to make myself scarce.”
“Uh, sure...”
“What do you mean they’re looking at... Hey, come back here!”
“No fear!” yelled her sister, displaying a remarkable turn of speed. “And look behind you!”
“The creatures are charging the fair Tendo Akane; indeed they must have been sent by arrgh!”
At this point in time, one of Nabiki’s lackeys adjusted the scoreboard to
| Kendo Club | Carnivorous Rabbits |
| 1 | 4 |
And so began the second phase of the Battle for Furinkan High School.
“It, like, it, t-touched me...” The purple-haired girl wrapped her arms around her chest like comforting blankets and shuddered.
The other girl was also shuddering. It did not appear to be from horror at the touch of the long-term guest of the house, however. “That /@9£ perverted !^*#~ing £$)-7! How dare he $%>,*ing call me $%*&/ flatchested!”
The boy just looked from the whimpering girl to herself, his lips working and his hands twitching aimlessly.
Kasumi decided the first girl was the first priority, and gently took her into her own embrace. “There, there. Your first encounter with grandfather Hapoosai is always rather unpleasant. Would you like to come inside and rest a little?”
“Th-there aren’t, like, any more, are there?” asked the smaller girl, eyeing the front door of the house as though it might hold back the hosts of Hell.
“Oh, my, no. Happosai is quite unique. And until father gets over trying to drink Amaterasu-sama under the table, there’s only Aunty Nodoka and I home for now.” Gently, she guided the girl to the door.
The boy followed wordlessly, walking at her side and peering past her at the girl. When she held out the broom, to free her hand to open the door, he took it unblinkingly.
“I-is it coming back?”
“Oh, not until later today, I think. Your friend hit him quite hard,” she broke off for a moment, and continued thoughtfully, “Do you know, I’m not sure where he will land. Akane usually hits Ranma the other way, and grandfather is much smaller than he is. I expect he will go a lot further.”
“Oh, good.”
Kasumi smiled at the girl’s innocent malice, and called over her shoulder to the last of the three guests, “Are you coming with us?”
The girl shuddered once more, and stomped up the path. Kasumi smiled, and made a mental note to introduce her to her littlest sister. The way they fumed angrily was so similar she just knew they’d get along like a house on fire.
“Behind you!” Whamsplat.
As Ranma swerved sharply to avoid Akane’s mallet – she wasn’t aiming it at him for once, but the fighting was very close quarters – his new instincts finally overcame him.
Riiiiipp.
“Look, Saotome has become argghh!”
Flutter, flutter.
“Eeek! He’s even cuter like that!” “Wow, Akane-chan is sooo lucky!”
“Man, he didn’t have to show off like that, did he?” “Jeeze, back to square one, guys. The girls ain’t gonna look at us with that around.”
Grab, twirl, fling. Boot.
Whamsplat. “Pervert, shift to your animal form, you’re giving everyone a free show!”
“Eeep,” dodge large axe, grab swordtail at the hilt, cut axerabbit in half and impale sword in the gatepost, “Need my hands, tomboy!”
“Oh, the great Saotome Ranma can’t fight these things without his hands?” whamsplatter “What about walking without that thing, then?” whish.
That time she was aiming for him.
“Ah!” scramble to fence “Alright Alright AlrrrrRRROarr!”
“Indeed, the fiend has shown heeeowww!”
Pounce, chomp, rend. “Gragh!”
Nabiki’s lackeys conferred. There was some dispute as to whether some of Ranma’s opponents counted towards his score, but after discussion guidelines were established.
| Furinkan High | Carnivorous Rabbits | ||
| Kendo Club | Ranma | Akane | |
| 1 | 12 | 15 | 8 |
The Wabbit outside the window glared meaningfully at the observers. It wanted to savage them as well, but the way its tail was wedged in the masonry after the male werecheetah hurled it at the wall prevented it from doing much more than just hanging there.
Sasaki Ichiro’s eye twitched. Evidently, the preliminary investigations had fallen even further short of comprehensive than he was accustomed to.
His senior assistant was already taking photographic evidence, and some of the team were still in the car, much less through the gates. He flicked to a second page and made some quick notes on the shapeshifter, who it seemed was recognised by the Kendo club – possibly as the ‘sorcerer’ that they had intended attacking. Allowing that such an ability might be mistaken for sorcerous powers, he noted the need to investigate this ‘Blue Thunder’ in addition to the normal inquiries.
Lollop-ching, lollop-ching, lollop-ching.
Ichiro looked up from his clipboard. One of the 'rabbits' had left the school grounds and was approaching the Schools Inspection team. At his look, it lifted the polearm grafted to its tail, and bared fangs.
“Imagawa, get out the markers. I believe we have a class-one situation here.”
“Sir, yes, sir!”
Lollop-ching, lollop-ching, lollop-ching. The thing was getting closer, but Ichiro was a Schools Inspector in the old tradition; he would not run from anything any school spawned. More were straying from the gates behind it.
Zip chomp.
Ichiro gave the huge cat a steely glare. It gave him a decidedly sheepish look in reply.
“hrhrhr.” Ptoie! “Grech!” zoom.
“Manohmanohmanohman why do those Public Health dorks keep on at me about the battle spat? It’s not like I sell anything I cook with it! Manohmanohman I’m going to be late.” She grabbed the gatepost and swerved into the schoolyard. She made it three steps before recognising...
“Hey! Where did all the rabbits come from? Hmm... wonder if rabbit okonomiyaki is any good?”
Swish!
“Hey! You ain’t a rabbit!” The battle spatula flipped up, and came down.
“What the heck’s... Is that – Hey, Akane, what’s going on?”
“Don’t ask me,” whamsplatter, “Just kill the rabbits!”
“Form on me, men! Form on me, and we shall charrgh!”
Zooom chomp chomp chomp zoom.
“And don’t hit the big cat, it’s Ranma!” Akane couldn’t figure out why she’d yelled that – so she denied it for several years.
“Sure thing, honey!” scoop, flip, batter, serve. “So why’s Ranchan a huge cat? And why’re we fighting bunny rabbits?”
“He made a wish last night,” swish. “Ahh! Owowow.”
Zip chomp sNArl.
“Owow. Don’t know where the rabbits came from, they just attacked us when we arrived at school.”
“If it turns out Genma pissed...” scoop-and-dice “...off some rabbit prince, I shall serve Panda okonomiyaki.”
“I hope you won’t mind if I tenderise the meat a bit first!” whammy!
Ukyo gauged the flightpath of the rabbit that Akane missed, and settled her spatula carefully. “Not at...” Swipe! “...All, honey! Say, why’s your hair funny coloured?”
“Ranma bit me.”
The scoreboard was carefully adjusted once more. So far, betting had been vigorous, although some wagers seemed little more than faint hopes. It was very unlikely that anything the size of a rabbit could actually eat the kendo team, after all. Nor was Ranma thought to be cannibalistic.
| Furinkan High | Carnivorous Rabbits | |||
| Kendo Club | Ranma | Akane | Ukyo | |
| 1 | 43 | 38 | 7 | 10 |
The second Wabbit stapled to the wall with its own tail snarled cutely. It hadn’t seen the spatula coming.
Kuno Groucho observed the enemy through his grass-bound telescope. They hadn’t yet braved the gates, and therefore come in range of the booby traps laid out in the schoolyard, nor had they made any demands; but he could see them passing round the bound packets of black markers that were their most fearsome weapon, and he felt a shiver pass down his spine.
Could it be? Were these truly the end? Could Truth, Justice, and the Hawaiian way prevail?
He barked a command. The cocoanut palms were levered back to the firing position, and loaded with attack lobsters. A follow-up barrage of pineapples was made ready.
It all depended on who broke first: the Inspectors, or the Monkeys.
“For de Big Kahuna! GO!”
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(Posted Tue, 08 Aug 2006 16:23)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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