| Furinkan High | Carnivorous Rabbits | |||
| Kendo Club | Ranma | Akane | Ukyo | |
| 1 | 62 | 50 | 16 | 12 |
Looking at the board, Nabiki sighed. At this rate, the rabbits would defeat the Kendo team before the others could finish them off. Without the Kendo team, the rabbits would be able to focus solely on the martial artists, and they were coming too quickly to be defeated like that.
But the day was producing some very good news. Tatewaki wasn’t here, so she wasn’t forced to hear how the “malicious creatures of mutated innocence was the fault of the foul demon”. Plus, even without touching the field, things were going well.
In order to try and raise some good karma, she had informed several students of ways they could lower their debts. On the roof, the heir of Martial Arts Fly Fishing was casting away, pulling up the dead carcasses of the weird rabbits. The heir to Martial Arts Hunting then skinned them; keeping the pelts and handing them off to the Martial Arts Tanner (they had to be shipped, as his son went to another school with some girl who caused more chaos than Ranma), to be made and sold.
Nabiki severely doubted PETA would mind if psychotic animals were made into coats.
The tails were being stored for later shipment or sell to those who wanted to use them to make combat weapons. She had no idea how tough they were, but she figured even the Tendo Dojo could use some new weapons, having been nearly a decade since their father even looked at their reserves, much less took care of them.
The meat was handed off to the school butcher—who oddly enough did not practice Martial Arts Meat Packer, but a student of Martial Arts Feng Shui—diced the meat, packaged it, and placed it into coolers.
When things settled down, these coolers would be run via the school’s track team—no longer allowed in Martial Arts Track & Field after an incident with a shot-put—to the Tendo Home, as well as Ucchan’s for Konatsu to take delivery. Some of the rest was already requested by the school cafeteria for lunch that day, as well as a few other students were offering bids.
Of course that all depended on how many of those armed rabbits there were.
“Boss; looks like they just keep coming.”
Nabiki nodded. Looks like they’d meet the quota.
Now, to warn Kasumi of the incoming shipment.
“Thank you for the help,” said Kasumi, as she and Romeo set the Sasuke-sicle outside to thaw. She would have offered him the furo, but the other girls were in there, with Auntie making certain Moisha was feeling better.
“No problem,” said the were-rat, wondering why a human would hide inside a running freezer.
After returning inside, they noticed that Auntie was escorting the two women out.
“Like, this top is too tight.”
“The *&#%ing shorts are too wide.”
It didn’t take long to guess whose closet she raided to give them some clothes until their laundry was dry.
Nodding, Kasumi handed Romeo some of Ranma’s clothes, already altered for a tail hole; and more room in case he had to change and didn’t want to flash the neighborhood. “Now you go and enjoy your bath.”
“I will,” said the male were-rat, smiling at the kindness of the hot were-cheetah woman before him.
Kasumi was about to go and join the other guests, when the phone rang.
“Hello, Tendo residence.”
“Hi sis.”
“Nabiki; how is school? I didn’t know you could call now.”
“Not good so far for our dear principal. We no sooner arrive than some mad rabbits are attacking everything.”
“Oh; how could a cute bunny attack anything?”
“Sis; these bunnies have bladed weapons for tails.”
“Well that’s not very nice of them. People could get hurt.”
“I think that’s the point. I was calling to let you know to clear out a lot of freezer space. When things calm down, I have some people who’ll be delivering some fresh rabbit meat for us.”
“Oh my,” said Kasumi. “I don’t know if I know how to cook rabbit. I’ll need some new recipes.”
“Already on it; have some people printing them off the Net as we speak.”
“Thank you. But what about the innards?”
“Oh, those are being sent to the animal shelters. I figure the cats and dogs might like real meat in their diets.”
“Well that is nice of you to do. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.”
“Um ... sis?”
“Yes, Nabiki.”
“Do we have room for some lobster as well? And do you know the number to the Tokyo Zoo? I really don’t feel like eating monkey.”
Unlike Akane and Ranma, Ukyo had not arrived fresh. She had been running all the way from her restaurant to the school, and thus was feeling a bit of energy drain.
Also unlike the two, she did not have her attributes cranked up by a were-cheetah transformation.
So, after all the kills, she was beginning to tire.
It would have helped had Akane not shifted to a cat-girl form, and then screamed out “who’s a flat-chested tomboy now, Ranma!”
The big cat that was now Ranma looked over ... and plowed right into the boundary wall of the school.
So needless to say, more of the weird rabbits were focused on the two fighters than before.
She saw one rabbit in particular charge at her, attacking a weak spot.
Lucky for her, it was intercepted by ... a lobster?
She turned in the direction the lobster had flown in from, missing the scene as the wabbit received its first buzz cut, and discovered the Principal.
He was wearing only a grass skirt. His face was painted to resemble a coconut, the flag of Hawaii painted on his chest. Along his flanks were dozens of monkeys, dressed like Braveheart rejects.
“FOR FREEDOM!” he yelled, as the wind blew and showed what he had under the skirt.
“MY EYES!” cried out Ukyo.
He had nothing under it, as he heard was traditional for Celtic fighters, the distant brothers of the Hawaiian fighter.
By now, Ranma had recovered from the fact that Akane could no longer be called flat-chested, and looked upon the battlefield. Oh the horror, rabbit and lobster faced off, monkeys providing long range artillery. He didn’t stare directly at Goucho Kuno, for fear of receiving yet another horrible memory he would have to repress.
But he did see Ukyo about to be swarmed by several rabbits.
Zoooom! Chomp-chomp-slice-n-dice-chomp-bat-chomp!
And yet another wabbit was added to the wall of failures, as his comrades chuckled at his misfortune for stuck in the masonry where the monkey poo had hit.
Squeak-squeak-nibble-squeak! (Were-cheetah; because of you, I’ve seen hell!)
Seeing that Ukyo was pretty much out of the fight and trying to claw her own eyes out, Ranma grabbed her by her collar and tossed her on his back.
Too bad he forgot that he really shouldn’t be letting his mouth near any fiancée.
“Ouch!” yelled Ukyo, feeling her neck. “What cut me?”
“RANMA NO BAKA!” yelled the enraged hybrid form of Akane, as her red aura sprang to life, frying several of the wabbits.
As she stalked towards the two, flash-frying any creature dumb enough to attack her, the people on the roof worked quick, as the received an early meal.
“Well?” asked the Hunter.
The Fly Fisher shook his head. “Kinda sweet, but definitely not like chicken.”
Ranma looked at his enraged fiancée, her aura burning the ground and whatever suicidal troops the animals had. Before him was an enraged female were-cheetah, no doubt upset with him again for biting someone.
Above him was Ukyo, clutching him like a teddy-bear, and still dazed from the Principal’s visual attack.
Around him were armed rabbits, barber lobsters, and monkeys armed with shears and what he hoped was not what it smelled like.
So, when he was forced to choose between the two deadly dangers, he chose the lesser of the two threats.
“GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT, BAKA!” yelled Akane, running after him.
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(Posted Fri, 11 Aug 2006 19:01)
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