“We shall be moving from Fukuoka to...” Lord Il Palazzo took a good look at where his finger pointed to. “We shall be going to the Minatoku Ward of Tokyo!”
“Tokyo!?” Excel cried, out, surprised that ACROSS would take the effort to try and attack such a huge city!
*CRUNCH*!
Her eyes widening, a large burble of blood came out from Excel’s mouth as the shark tore her body in half, taking the woman’s legs and lower torso down with it to the briney deep of the infamous pit.
The page changed, taking on a looking of as though it were the greatest depths of outer-space; stars shining and nebulas spinning all around in a beautiful intricate pattern. This image was soon followed by a beautiful, melodic voice... which some would say sounded like Pedro’s ‘Sexy Wife’.
“Excel, you mustn’t waste the powers of the Great Will of the Macrocosm so easily. But for now, I will take pity and restart this event, so that you are still on the Mortal Coil.”
“Thanks, Will-chan!” Excel thanked of the Great Will. She was back in one piece and standing on the floor of the throne room next to her junior officer, Hyatt.
“A Great Will of the Macrocosm’s work is never done...” said a small spatial-distortion with feminine arms as it rushed across the background top leave the room.
Nodding his head, Il Palazzo hadn’t moved a muscle. “As I was saying, we shall be going to the Minatoku Ward of Tokyo!”
“Yay Tokyo!” Excel cheered. “The Tokyo Giants better win this season!” She shouted, suddenly wearing a Football uniform.
Staring down at his Chief Toilet-Scrubber, Il Palazzo softly spoke. “Agent Excel?”
Grinning madly, Excel asked, “Yes oh loving and wonderful Lord Il Palazzo.”
“You’re wearing the colors of the New York Giants.” With that said, he took a hold of the rope with his free hand and sent the poor woman falling down into the pit once more.
“I’MSORRYLORDILPALAZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo...”
*SPLASH*!
“Sigh... a Great Will’s work is never done around this girl.”
“YAY TOKYO GIANTS!” Excel shouted, now wearing baseball uniform and wearing the proper colors. She and the others in the room where ignorant of the hurrying spatial distortion in the background.
Raising his free hand to his chin, Lord Il Palazzo looked the exuberant and jubilant redhead over. “As much as I get the suspicious feeling that’s a New York Yankee’s outfit, I will let it slide this time. For we have much to discuss. Moving ACROSS Headquarters to Tokyo!”
“YAY TOKYO!” Excel cheered. “The capital of Japan and birthplace of the Emperor! We shall but a cap in his old ass and show Japan what-for!”
“No Excel,” the golden-eyed man said softly.
“...Oh...” Excel said, for once without a comical or hyperactive retort, (thank God!)
Slowly raising her hand, Hyatt quietly asked, “Eh-excuse me, Lord Il Palazzo?”
Raising his left eyebrow, the evil Overlord turned his head to look at his favorite ACROSS Officer. “And what is it, Agent Hyatt?”
“Sh-shouldn’t...” the dark blue-haired woman coughed lightly. She twitched for a moment, but fortunately, kept standing. “Shouldn’t we be addressed about the place we’ll be going to?”
Nodding his head, lord Il Palazzo graced the woman with a smile. “Why, of course. A brilliant plan of action, Agent Hyatt. You deserve a promotion for this.”
“WAAAHHHHH!!!” Excel cried, waterworks going off. “Why does Ha-chan get all the praise and all Excel gets is roping! And not the good roping either, with the shibari and S&M but the bad kind which leads to plummeting and paaAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINNNN!”
*SPLASH*!
“...This girl needs a hobby with a lower fatality rate...”
“Minatoku,” Il Palazzo said as he continued to hold his finger to the map. He blinked his eyes as he noticed the small bit of cosmos running in the background, but decided for his mental health, to ignore it. “Is one of the twenty-three special wards of Tokyo, Japan. It has an estimated population of one-hundred, seventy-five thousand, five hundred, and a density of eight-thousand, six-hundred and twenty-seven persons per km-squared. The total area is 20.34 km-squared.”
“Holy crap, that’s a lot of people!” Excel shouted. “However will we manage to take over such a city if it’s more heavily populated than where we are now!?”
“As for how it will also help us get a better foothold in taking over the world,” the ACROSS leader continued, ignoring the excitable Excel. “Minatoku is also host to forty-nine foreign embassies. It is also home to various companies, including Animax, Dentsu, Fuji Xerox, Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, Ltd. and Mitsubishi Motors Corporation, Morinaga & Co., Ltd., Morinaga Milk Industry Co,. Ltd., NEC Corporation, Nippon Television, Toshiba and Vodafone (Japan).”
“YES!” Excel shouted. Surely, with so many important places, they could at least get a part time job!
“As you can see from the map,” Il Palazzo said as he continued. “Minatoku is located southwest of the Imperial Palace and has boundaries with the special wards of Chiyoda, Chuo, Koto (in Odaiba), Shinagawa, Shibuya and Shinjuku.”
Excel nodded her head. “So that way, when ACROSS starts to expand, IT WILL EXPAND!” Excel started to blow up considerably, looking like she were crossed with Dom Deluise for a moment. She couldn’t hold in all the air and had to let it out, accidentally causing herself to disgorge the few contents left in her stomach and all over the other officer.
“...Oh my...” Hyatt said as she reached into her pocket and took out a small moist-towelette, wiping her face clean of the other woman’s discourse.
“However,” the great ruler of ACROSS said slowly, seriously. “As before, to allow ourselves time for set-backs and allot time to a realistic date to which to conquer the masses, we shall start in the prefecture where my finger is pointing!” He turned to look at the map again. “Aza Juuban!”
“Yay Juuban! YAY!” Excel shouted.
“Aza Juuban,” Lord Il Palazzo started, “Is known as the ‘Tenth Section’ of Minatoku, and is bordered to the North by Tokyo Tower, which stands a total of three-hundred and thirty-three meters in height. This prefecture is consisted of many places which could be considered key-functions to the city. Juuban Jr. High School, Esai Juku, T.A. Private School, Shibakouen, Mugen Kaguen, (which will be reopening later this year) Juuban Animal Sanctuary...”
Excel nodded her head. Animal Sanctuaries meant a steady supply of emergency food rations, should she ever finally get around to eating Menchi.
“There’s the Hikawa Shrine, Aza Juuban Dressmakers, Beauty 4 You with its conjoined business Café Elf, the Bob-Floy Ice-Cream Parlor, the Crown Game Center and it’s joined sister business Fruit Parlor Crown, Dreamland Amusement Park, the New Tokyo International Airport, OSA-P, Juuban Ice Arena, and many, many other things which could be used against the people; their frivolous devices being the core to their downfall!”
“But on another note,” Il Palazzo said, a hint of danger to his voice. “There is something you should keep an eye out for. Though it is probably just an urban legend, despite the things they’ve shown on the news time and again, there is something called the ‘Sailor Senshi’.”
Hyatt considered that. “Sailor Soldiers?”
Nodding his head, Il Palazzo explained, “Mini-skirted heroines of justice whom act as sex-symbols to entice the masses into having wet-dreams.”
Both female Agents started at their ruler with wide-eyes.
“...What?” The platinum-haired man asked when he saw his agents’ gawking stares. “It’s all here in the works of some artist named, ‘Black Dog’.” Bringing his hand down from the map and reaching behind his throne, the ruler of ACROSS tossed them each an issue of H-Doujinshi. “See for yourself.”
Flipping through a few pages of the infamous Hentai works, (which were named after musical albums, songs, and artists), Excel’s eyes went wide. “WOAH! Ecchi, ecchi, ECCHI!”
Her eyes going wide, a small steady trickle of blood came out from Hyatt’s left nostril. And then the woman fell over, deader than a doornail.
Nodding his head, Lord Il Palazzo explained, “As entertaining as they are, these are not the sort of women we can allow to become the shining beacon of hope for the masses... that is if they exist. If not, then no worries.”
“Agreed!” Excel said, as it was obvious to her that girls who did naughty things on pages for entertainment purposes, could not be expected to be proper role models.
“Now then, if there are no further questions...” lord Il Palazzo started slowly.
Raising her hand up into the air, Excel shouted, “EXCEL HAS A QUESTION, LORD IL PALAZZO!”
“Yes, Agent Excel?” The man sitting on his throne asked.
“Forgive your dear Excel for questioning your great authority,” the redheaded said as blindly-loyal as ever. “But how will ACROSS be moving to Juuban?”
“Simple,” the platinum haired armored one said. “ACROSS will pay to have our meeting area moved piece-by-piece so that this room remains entirely unchanged, even if it is in a new area. Therefore, you won’t be thrown off of your game when we have more meets and status reports. And don’t worry, we’ll contact you with the new address when we have it moved completely.”
“Speaking of moving...” the redhead said slowly. “But, what about Excel and Hyatt, lord Il Palazzo? How will we get to Juuban? Will we have a place to go to, and how will we pay for moving expenses.”
Smiling, the golden-eyed charismatic individual explained, “Silly Excel. You’re on your own for that.” He slowly reached for the rope.
“But we don’t have much in the way of funds, lord Il PalaAAAAZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
*SPLASH*!
“Oh dear, or dear... this poor girl really is getting killed often. I better restart it further along to a spot where she hopefully won’t be endangered. AH! I know, I’ll set things ahead to...”
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(Posted Mon, 09 Oct 2006 17:14)
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