Genma swore, and swore again when he heard that bizarre English accent kicking in again. Where did THAT come from?
"GRAARRRR!" yelled something with seven eyes and a hand that looked like a gun, charging towards him. Genma took one look at the hulking brute and froze, entirely aware that he was already injured from that penguin.
One of the tall (or at least taller than he currently was) women associating with his son stepped into its path.
"Identification: Gun-Demon, SubType: Baciel," said KOS-MOS completely calm despite an eleven foot tall monster charging her. "Deploying cannon. Charge Shell fired."
Genma yelped a little when the blast hit the charging demon in the chest.
"Target Status: paralyzed," announced KOS-MOS, looking down at Genma with unblinking red eyes. "Suggest practicing Ice attack from distance."
Genma blinked and then smiled. He could do that.
The word was getting around, helped by Fight Channel coverage.
"It's Six O'Clock, and time for the News," said the plush rabbit thing. "The news of new Overlord Ranma being reunited with his family has brought some of the Ranma fans out of their closets. He's even taken his father to the [Land Of Carnage] for some tough loving."
"..." Plenair blinked at the camera.
"However," continued the bunny, whose name was Usagi, "some of Ranma's rivals have declared that he cannot be allowed to peacefully retire without settling grudges developed in the course of his career."
A demon stood atop a cliff, a storm dramatically crashing behind him as he raised his fists to the heavens. "RANMA! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO PEACEFULLY RETIRE WITHOUT SETTLING THINGS BETWEEN US, YOU COWARD!"
"Yeesh," said the rabbit thing. "You'd think he'd learn. Ranma has fought him one hundred three times, with zero losses. Including three times when Ranma was asleep, fourteen times when Ranma was heavily wounded, once when Ranma was asleep AND wounded, once when Ranma was out on a date with Honey and Ranma AND Honey AND a Ranma Fan Club took turns beating on him, reduction in title from [Badass Warrior] to [Ranma's Chief Rival] to [Pitiable Comedy Relief], with a fan letter from Wile E Coyote admiring his dogged persistance, and four offers from various Mad Scientists to try a common sense transplant on him."
"..." indicated Plenair, looking sad.
"Yes, it IS pitiable," said Usagi. "Next thing you'll hear is that he has an 'unbeatable technique' that will somehow do what the last forty two such gimmicks have failed to do."
Clutching a scroll, the figure held it aloft and ignored the oncoming storm. "THIS TIME I'VE GOT YOU FOR SURE!"
"..." said Plenair, her sad eyes fixed on the camera.
"On the other hand," said Usagi, "Netherworld Casinos is offering unheard of odds for this matchup. If [Pitiable Comic Relief] manages to actually pull this off, someone stands to win the mucho moolah."
"..." indicated Plenair.
"Say, you dated Saotome once, didn't you? What do you think of his harem?" asked Usagi, turning to his cohost.
Plenair blinked and smiled mysteriously.
Genma thought about this new manuever. Ice, Mega Ice, Giga Ice, Omega Ice, now Tera Ice. This... could be handy. Tokyo got very very humid after all and just plain hot in summer. On those days where the wind was conspicuous by absence, the cicadas made their contentment known and everyone looked for excuses to go where air conditioning was available.
Being able to produce ice on demand, even if it shattered to powder almost immediately - it had possibilities.
Had this been why Ranma had chosen ice-wielder as opposed to wind or fire? It seemed likely.
Genma swung his staff around, having traded in a gun for something a little less nasty and likely to cause problems IN Tokyo. A staff was nothing special, even if it was one of these 'Infernal Staff' things that looked like the top of it was still growing.
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(Posted Sat, 14 Oct 2006 18:43)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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