Haruko grinned as the Warlock’s distinctively shaped, glossy black body hit the boy squarely in the forehead, letting out a wonderfully deep dissonant chord as its strings vibrated over the pickups. It was surprisingly loud, as well — after all, most electric guitars had to be plugged into an amplifier in order to produce sounds loud enough to be heard over background noise (and given the panicked reaction of the others in the little group, there was a lot of background noise at the moment). But then, Haruko’s left-handed B.C. Rich Platinum Series Warlock bass was not most electric guitars.
For starters, Haruko’s Warlock was far more sturdy than most instruments; if, at the end of a performance, a rock star elected to give into the hedonistic impulse destroy this particular bass by smashing it against the dais, instead of the expected result of a broken instrument, the artist would find himself with a broken stage (and, in all likelihood, a repair bill from the owner of said stage). Without this level of durability, Haruko would never be able to perform the kinds of feats she’d pulled off with her Rickenbacker (like bringing down skyscrapers with a single blow, or knocking asteroids off of collision courses with other large gravitational masses).
Secondly, and just as importantly, the Warlock, like all the guitars Haruko had used in combat, had a pull starter on the back of the body, much like the starter on a lawnmower engine. It functioned in a similar fashion as well, activating a sort of internal amplifier that allowed the guitar to produce audible noise without any external equipment (or any electrical power source, for that matter). This amplification could be modified by using the guitar’s switches and knobs to produce various effects, from relatively subdued effects for performance, to settings whose sole purpose was to cause large-scale destruction and chaos. (In Haruko’s opinion, the Warlock was slightly better than the Rickenbacker in the former category, and slightly less so in the latter, but she hadn’t really used her new axe enough to accurately judge its capabilities.) Somewhere in between performance and destruction, however, was a setting that, when the strings were held down just so, could activate an N.O. gate — and it was this function that allowed Haruko to write off her heavily customized (i.e., expensive) bass guitar as a business expense.
Not that Tenchi really cared about that at the moment, as it’s rather hard to appreciate a guitar that you’ve only seen for a split-second before passing out due to a severe concussion. However, on the plus side, this also meant that he didn’t have to feel the scuffs and scrapes he endured while bouncing on the asphalt before finally skidding to a stop, nor did he experience the intense panic one would normally feel when an apparently out-of-control motor scooter comes to a screeching halt inches away from one’s ear.
Experience told Haruko that she likely had less than a second to decide what to do before the witnesses started making a scene, so she decided to go with her old standby: making an even bigger scene. Thus, after poking her target a few times (and noting that this one was actually pretty cute) to confirm that the guy was indeed unconscious and to give her audience a chance to get closer, she began.
“Hey. Hey, mister? Are you alright?”
Of course, by now, Haruko’s audience was within hearing range, and they were a wee bit hostile at the moment. Thus it was that a rather uppity female voice responded “Of course he’s not alright, you… you…”
Haruko didn’t give the purple-haired adolescent the chance to find the right word, as she immediately started her standard routine.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT AGAIN!! O cruel Fate, why must you mock me so?! Why, WHY, WHYYYYY?!?!?!”
The overacting space pirate grabbed the girl with cyan hair (mostly because she was the closest), squeezed her as tight as she could, and sobbed crocodile tears into her shoulder. “It’s just not fair… he had his whole life ahead of him… so much promise… ruined! Why must the good die so young?!”
“Ahh! My ear!” Ryoko phased through this newcomer and put her hand against the ear in question. There was definitely something wrong with this lady — plus, her hug had been… uncomfortable. “What is your problem, you weirdo?”
Apparently, it took a lot to faze this particular weirdo, as she showed absolutely no reaction to Ryoko’s powers, and instead moved to Act 2 of the her show. “NO! I must not give in to despair! This situation calls for first aid — and fortunately for our patient, I happen to be skilled at Expired Air Resuscitation.”
“Oh… that’s… fortunate….” Ryoko said bewilderedly. “What the hell is Expired Air Resuscitation?”
Mihoshi raised hand high and started bouncing in place to get Ryoko’s attention. “Ooh! I know that one! Me, me, pick me!”
“Um… okay, Mihoshi. What is it?”
Mihoshi briefly cleared her throat before reciting her answer in a halting monotone. “Expired – Air – Resuscitation, – or – E.A.R., – is – a – form – of – first – aid – where – air – is – blown – directly – into – the – lungs – of – a – victim – undergoing – respererer… resputial… rasputinory… um, not breathing. It – is – also – known – as – rescue breathing, or mouth-to-mouth.”
“Oh. Well that explains — mouth to mouth?!?!” Both Ryoko and Ayeka went nearly berserk when they realized that this strange woman was actually planning on kissing their mutual love interest — or something that could easily be construed as kissing. They shifted their attention back to Tenchi… just in time to see the strange woman hovering over him, pressing her lips against his.
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(Posted Sat, 21 Oct 2006 01:11)
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