Most guys would find the idea of waking up to the kiss of a beautiful woman to be rather enjoyable.
However, thanks to his bizarre personal life, Masaki Tenchi was definitely most decidedly not “most guys” — and when two of most jealousy-prone women in the galaxy are constantly at your side (and at each others’ throats), the last thing you want are the attentions of yet another woman, especially one whose aggressiveness rivaled the two jealousy-prone women previously mentioned.
Therefore, when Tenchi awoke due to the unusual sensation of something tickling the roof of his mouth, his danger sense, which was uniquely attuned to compromising romantic (or pseudo-romantic, as the case may be) situations, was able to verify several pertinent facts with great ease and efficiency:
“AAAAAAA! Get off of me!” shouted Tenchi — or rather, that’s what Tenchi would have shouted had the woman’s liplock not been so strong; her mouth muffled his outburst quite effectively, with the result that it sounded more like “MMMMMMM! Mmm mmm mm mm!” Fortunately for Tenchi, he still managed to communicate his noncompliance in this action to the other ladies standing nearby through the wild flailing of his limbs.
This show resistance was more than enough (much, much more) justification for Tenchi’s two most ardent loves to spring into action immediately. “Cease your depraved assault upon Lord Tenchi’s person at once, you degenerate mountebank!”
“Um, Kiyone, what did Ayeka just say?” asked a confused Mihoshi, who was having trouble deciphering Ayeka’s courtly vocabulary amidst all this excitement.
“Die, bitch!” shouted Ryoko at the intruder.
“Pretty much the same thing Ryoko just said,” Kiyone answered her partner.
“Oh,” replied the blonde police officer. It was kind of interesting how Ayeka’s vocabulary became more flowery when she was excited, while Ryoko’s seemed to get cruder.
At the moment, however, Mihoshi was the only person who found this observation to be interesting, as there was mayhem to be had. Since neither Ryoko nor Ayeka wanted to actually hurt their beloved, both independently decided that direct brute force would be the best way to deal with the pink-haired menace (besides, there was something uniquely satisfying about a good, old-fashioned ass-whoopin’ that one just couldn’t get from special moves like Ryoko’s energy beam or Azaka and Kamidake’s force field). Thus, Haruko found herself knocked off of her target by not one but two flying tackles, which was a great surprise to her — she’d thought that the women around the victim candidate would have been stunned by her antics for a little while longer.
No matter — Haruko prided herself on her ability to roll with whatever punches fate threw at her, though at the moment, she was a bit more concerned about those that cyan-hair and purple-hair would throw. It was clear that these two were not ordinary humans (if they were even human at all). She made up her mind before the trio even had a chance to stop moving from the force of the initial tackle: it was time for a strategic retreat. Quite simply, she had to know just what these people were actually capable of, but she wasn’t in the mood to find out firsthand.
As the three of them hit the ground and started rolling, Haruko let out a whistle — which prompted her Vespa to spring to life and zip next to her, as though it were some sort of pet. That done, Haruko then proceeded to kick out of the dogpile, using the momentum from her legs to swing up into the air, and doing a backflip before landing perfectly on the seat of the scooter, leaving Ryoko and Ayeka to continue tumbling. “Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but the open road is calling my name. See you around!” Then she tightened the strap on her Warlock, winked, and blew a kiss at a downright astonished Tenchi before flooring the Vespa’s accelerator and tearing off down the road.
He was still staring at the place where the pink-haired woman had been standing by the time Ryoko and Ayeka had managed to collect themselves (and their bruised egos) and return to the group. “Are you all right, Tenchi?”
“I… I think so.” He reached up to the spot on his forehead where the bass guitar had made contact. “OW!” It was still a little tender, and Tenchi could already feel a bump starting to form.
“Lord Tenchi!” Ayeka rushed to his side. “What did that beastly woman do to you?”
“It… it’s not so bad — just a bump, that’s all. I mean, there isn’t even any blood.”
“Perhaps Washu should take a look at it,” Mihoshi suggested.
“No, I’m sure it will be fine,” Tenchi replied — giving Washu a legitimate reason to “examine” him was most certainly not a good idea, as far as he was concerned.
“Still, we’d better take you back to your home,” Kiyone said. “You might have a concussion.”
“No, I’ll be fine — I just want to get to school.”
“Okay… should we come with you?” Tenchi was so distracted, it barely registered in his mind that Ryoko had used the word “we” instead of “I.”
“No… I just… I just need to go.” The incident had significantly soured Tenchi’s mood, and at the moment, he just wanted to launch into something emotionally neutral so he could forget about it — in this case, his education.
Fortunately, the others seemed to understand this. “Well, you make sure to see the school nurse if it gets worse, alright?” Kiyone said.
Tenchi sighed. “Don’t worry, I will.” He headed off towards the bus stop — if he hurried he could still make it in time.
“Bye, Tenchi,” came a chorus of voices behind him.
Tenchi allowed a small smile to break through his bad mood as he turned back to the girls and waved. “Bye! I’ll see you this evening!”
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(Posted Thu, 09 Nov 2006 04:45)
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