Alien Shepherds: Balls Away [Episode 175777]

by The Demented Redhead

The balls released by the Shepards were a multitude of colors, each floating in orbit, seemingly spreading out on some unseen wind, as they began to circle the globe, dispersing as best as possible.

The green balls would mainly affect the environment. They would infect all plant life that used chloroform, and alter their actions. Within five years, the plants on Earth would be hardier than they had ever been, and would start to expand and reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the air. They would even be able to ingest and break down the acids humans had been spilling into the environment, thus eliminating acid rain.

The black balls were basically one giant birth control shot for the human species. Since humanity—in the eyes of the Shepards—refused to control their own population growth, oddly for religious opinions rather than common sense, they decided to take care of it themselves. Male fertility would take a major nosedive, as well as female fertility. Though when many females learned that their periods would now only come once a year, if that, and guys learned that the new odds of getting a girl pregnant during that time were less than one percent, many wouldn’t be found complaining.

The yellow balls were immune boosters, which would deal a major blow to the drug industry, as the human immune system would become very powerful on its own within the next few months. The common cold to the Ebola virus would become things of no worry, bacteria that often resulted in food poisoning would have no effect. And even AIDS and HIV would be things that every human body could deal with.

The red balls were to affect the genetic structures of humanity. These would release genetic viruses that would help fix the developing flaws within the genome. Cancers would disappear in a few months, autism would be burned out with a high fever, allowing people to truly be free to grow and express themselves. Healing factors would increase, as limbs lost or parts removed due to surgery would regrow.

The others had similar effects, more geared towards the biosphere and animal life than anything else. Even a few contained new plant life that would be a better food source than anything before.

But the people of Earth weren’t concerned with that at the moment. They still would rather believe that the aliens in orbit were there to control them.

Granted it was true, but then the Shepards saw humanity as children, not those ready to handle their own destiny, and many only able to handle their own needs.

The Shepards found humanity's fear amusing though: the one thing that seemed to be uniting humanity was its own paranoia.

But even humanity had grown some intelligence over the course of their attempts. The Senshi had been captured and brainwashed, the tests had been simple and straightforward. The results of an earlier assault had been finally made public.

And many were bemoaning the loss of many a great male porn star that was now female.

But they would bide their times and make plans.

But first, they needed to placate the invaders.

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(Posted Fri, 29 Dec 2006 06:32)


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