Setsuna looked around. "Stop chewing on the Gates Of Time!"
Taz looked up. "sowwy."
"Would you all just STOP!" proclaimed Pluto, trying to grab these irritating characters and throw them back through the crack in reality she thought they had claimed from.
CRACK!
Slamming boards and nailing them in place over the one crack, Sailor Pluto didn't pay much attention to the new crack. Nor did she notice the long thin wooden pole extend out, or saw it menacingly loom its crook above her for a moment.
She DID notice when it whipped back and she was pulled through this new crack.
"Welcome welcome to the Muppet Show, with our very special guest star, Sailor Pluto!"da-da-daad-ta-da, da-da-daad-ta-da, dat-daad-dat-dat-dat-DAT
"Looks like she's gonna be a bit busy," said Bugs, watching as Beaker and Professor Honeydew somehow managed to get a handcart under the Gates Of Time and wheel it off for use in a skit.
"Yeah, I guess so," agreed Mickey.
"Oh dear," bemoaned Droopy.
"We ought to help her out," suggested Mickey.
"Already ahead of you, doc," the rabbit said in his Bronx accent. "Now here's what we need to do..."
Luna felt the kick in every part of her body as the little boy decided to be a little monster.
"Aw, it's just some stray cat, let's play 'pinata!'"
"What is this?" asked a certain skunk. "Ah, it is ze cute little Japanese femme-skunk, and ze maiden is in need of ze rescue. Clearly there is but a single course of action for a red-blooded Frenchskunk!"
Rei Hino prepared for school, went outside her door, and came to a complete and utter stop.
A flying saucer was hanging over the shrine yard.
Blinking didn't help. Slapping herself in the face didn't help. Pinching herself hurt.
Extending telescopic legs, the ship landed and extruded an escalator.
As Rei watched, her own legs refusing to function, a dog wearing a helmet and red tennis shoes came down the escalator. Said dog marched to the side of the escalator, pulled a little bugle out of his helmet with one ear, and played something vaguely resembling a fanfare.
What came down the escalator wasn't particularly green, nor did it have tentacles. It was LITTLE though. Wearing a helmet at least 1/3 its side. When it reached the ground it moved in a very quick shuffle to stand before her.
"Wah?" asked Rei, faced with such a sight.
"Good morning, you long-legged Earth creature you," said the Martian, because it HAD to be didn't it?
"G-g-g-g-good morning," managed Rei.
"I'm pleased to announce that you, Rei Hino, have been selected as the Princess Of Mars," said the alien. "Isn't that peachy keen?"
"P-princess?" asked Rei, still struggling with how weird the day had gotten.
"K-9, I'm mildly disappointed," said the creature to the dog, "I was hoping for someone more like Dejah Thoris."
The dog nodded but wisely remained silent.
"Ahem," continued the Martian. "As the Princess Of Mars, you can transform into Sailor Mars and protect your planet from various menaces. Here's your transformation pen. Oh dear, is that all you get?"
Rei stared at the pen she'd just been handed, at the Martian, at his spaceship, and finally at the dog.
"The phrase is 'Mars Planet Power, Make Up'," said Marvin. "Now that's just plain silly. Here, have a proton disruptor pack. If you're going to defend your planet, you should have decent weaponry. What kind of planetary defender would you be if you didn't have a big gun, hmmmmm?"
"Ah?" asked Rei, blinking wildly.
"Still needs something," said Marvin, pushing a remote control button. A large metal pipe extended from the flying saucer and gushed forth a small pile of gadgetry. "There! That's so much better, isn't it, K-9?"
The dog nodded enthusiastically. The cherry red jetbike, he felt, just fit the whole 'planetary defender' archetype.
"Go forth and defend the Earth!" said Marvin, turning and shuffling back to his escalator. The dog saluted Rei with one ear before following his master.
Rei watched as the flying saucer lifted off, dog and Martian waving goodbye from one window.
"welcome to Earth" managed Rei finally.
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(Posted Tue, 19 Dec 2006 18:23)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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