Dungeon Keeper: Down on Skid Row [Episode 180509]

by Psyckosama

Carefully, Ranma walked along the narrow path dug into the stone wall by his Imps. He was pleased to see, that among other things, which his night vision seemed to be improving. The pitch black of the cavern had become a murky darkness that was almost pitch black but not quite. Might not sound like too much of an improvement, but it was there... he was just hoping that before long he might actually be able to see farther than a half-meter in front of his face. In the future though, he was going to bring a torch.

Around the bend, a small smile came to his face as the form of the dully luminescent portal. The reasons for his slight satisfaction were two fold. First, it was a source of light, no matter how dim. Second, it meant that he was going to see something besides the same damned caves.

"I still don't see why you didn't just teleport," the Mentor drolled, "It would have been faster than walking."

"I wanted to stretch my legs," Ranma began, "Besides, I don't like teleportin'. The landings suck."

"We'll, you're going to love the trip to Skid Row then," the ghostly advisor remarked, lightly.

"What's that supposed to mean," Ranma demanded.

"Oh, nothing," the ghost replied in a sing song voice as they stopped at the mouth of the portal.

Ranma looked at the ghost questioningly, and then asked, "So how do I make this thing work?"

"It takes you to where you want to go, unless the portal is magically under someone else's control. Then you need their permission. Larger portals enchanted to reject those who are coming to conquer the city. Smaller cities cannot afford to cast or maintain such magics, and thusly, they usually have their portals located outside the city fortifications"

Ranma glared down at the pit, and then glanced back to his advisor. "You sure this is going to work?"

The Mentor sighed. "By the apostate souls of the thrice damned, boy, just step into the bloody portal."

Ranma glared at him for a moment then stepped forward into the pit. He quickly wished he hadn't.

While teleportation could be disorienting, portal travel made it look like a most comfortable and pleasant form of movement. Imagine the sensation of an uncontrolled spinning free fall through a whirlpool while being twisted in five different directions and flushed down a toilet and you'd have a general approximation of what portal travel is like.

Ranma groaned as what felt like hours passed by as he reached for the edge of the portal.

"Oh, my head," the young Dungeon Keeper groaned as the ghostly form of The Mentor popped out of the portal behind him.

"A most exhilarating form of travel is it not?" the mentor sarcastically reflected.

"I can see why he wants to kill you," Ranma groaned as he stood up, trying to regain his balance.

"You'll get used to it," the ghost replied, "Now, off to the town."

"How far?" Ranma asked as he took in the area around them. Like his portal, this one was virtually surrounded by water. In fact it was on a small island in the middle of an underground lake with only a long, rickety looking wooden bridge connecting it to the other side. Fortunately, he could make out the chamber in relative detail thanks to a number of torches that lined the pathway and phosphorescent fungus that seemed to be growing around the chamber.

"At least its better lit," Ranma remarked.

"Indeed," The Mentor replied, "It would behoove you to have some of your imps collect samples of the fungus. It's used for cavern illumination all across the underworld."

Ranma nodded and with a snap, a few of his more experienced imps, the ones capable of teleportation, appeared.

"Collect some of that fungus, and return to the Dungeon."

The imps nodded and bolted off to their newly appointed task in a blur.

Glancing over to Ranma, a smile creased the old ghosts low resolution face. "Showing some initiative. Very good, Keeper."

Ranma smiled. "Thanks!"

"Now, don't let it get to your head," the ghost responded, "And let's get going. While we walk I will tell you about this particular town."

Ranma nodded.

"Skid Row," the advisor began, "Is a small trading town of marginal at best significance. Fortunately, it has a highly active black market and its many casinos, bars, fighting pits, and brothels make it a favored watering hole for all kinds of monsters, mercenaries, and the occasional brat of importance who wishes to philander amongst their inferiors. Besides that, there is a sufficient trading post as well, and as mentioned before, many places where a young man such as yourself could enjoy himself."

Ranma nodded. It sounded like some of the places his old man had gone when he was younger.

"How about the people who live here, or who runs it?" he asked.

"They're of little consequence," the ghost replied. "Its run by a small number of competing crime families and most of the population live in impoverished slums. Any ways, as a Dungeon Keeper, both are totally beneath you."

Ranma scowled. He didn't like the sound of that. He was a martial artist, Dungeon Keeper or no, and it was his duty to protect the weak. Right?

In the distance (being about fifteen odd meters), he saw a large, hideously ugly... pig thing, guarding a large metal door. In one hand it held a large mace. The other was busy picking its snout. All in all, it looked like those pig creatures from that American... Star Wars movie but instead of being green it was a greasy shade of unwashed pink.

"What the hell is that?" Ranma wonder in disgust.

"That is an Orc," the ghost replied. "A relatively common minion. Strong, tough, loyal, and exceptionally stupid. No doubt it's here to attempt to collect some kind of toll for entry."

"Oh," Ranma replied, ready to summon some gold. "What do you think the toll will be?"

"Whatever it thinks that it can get away with charging," the mentor replied. "Which for you should be nothing."

"Nothing?" Ranma blinked.

"Understand, young Keeper, that the Underworld at its heart is based on the idea of might makes right. For most people, the Orc would demand a toll based on how rich and powerful they look. Rich would mean a larger toll as there is more to pay, powerful a lesser toll as it probably wishes to avoid a beating. You're a Dungeon Keeper. This thing by all rights is a pest beneath your notice."

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(Posted Fri, 29 Dec 2006 03:47)


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