Ranma's planning had been near-perfect. Had Nabiki known she may well have swooned.
There was, however, one element that he had not securely distracted. It wasn't really his fault; Happousai was extremely predictable, but in an extremely immediate sense. Otherwise he was very hard to control and pin down. In fact, one of the most predictable elements to him was that he would never fail to show up to turn a good moment sour, or make a bad moment worse. Ranma had hoped that the lecher would follow the fiancee squad out into the wilderness, or maybe tag along to bother him specifically.
Happousai, being as whimsical as he was, had skipped out on the training trip ambush when Furinkan's girls' track team had passed by on their weekend practice, wearing their short, legless gym shorts per the norm. One thing had led to another, and while the rest of the Nerima squad was trekking through forest and mountain, he had been terrorizing local beaches with a promise in the back of his mind to catch up later.
Suffice to say, he was so surprised to see Ranma through the window to his room making out with a blonde girl he had never seen before that he had very nearly dropped his sack of hard-earned treasures.
Standing the tree in the yard (one of his favorite spot for peeping on the aquatranssexual when he was a girl and changing) and gaping, he soon figured out that the pair were not making out, though the assumption was quite reasonable. It appeared that the new, luscious blonde was... breast feeding him.
"I... don't know what to make of what I'm seeing..." Happousai mumbled. It even appeared that Ranma was unconscious, for some reason. And while the bombshell of his dreams had her glorious body completely exposed to the world! A bombshell that was putting out some kind of weird aura that seemed vaguely malevolent, but he wasn't the type to hold that against a gorgeous young woman.
Happousai's left eye twitched as his mind blew a fuse trying to make sense of the scene. Its higher functions foiled, the lecher's mind reset to its old standby: jump, grab, feel. "SWEETO!"
Usagi hadn't even begun to investigate the full extent of her new powers as a darkstalker, and her more advanced senses were currently far beyond her. Thus she was completely surprised by the sudden shout, and she yelped as she felt something cling to her exposed rear, jumping up from her "session".
"What're you doing?! Get off me!" She cried, swiping at the little man reflexively with speed and power she had not possessed but an hour before.
Happousai squeaked as he was embedded into the wall, bits of plaster bursting out from all around him. Shaking his head, he popped out of the wall, leering at the girl. "Ah, another martial artist I see. Boy, Ranma sure can pick 'em!"
Usagi gaped, while she covered her chest and crotch with her hands in a habit left over from her humanity (rather than ignoring her nudity, or simply regenerating her clothes like a normal succubus would). How was that old man still standing? How was he still ALIVE? She had no way of knowing that Happousai regularly took blows of superhuman power, so she immediately began considering whether the tiny wrinkled man was human. "Wh-Who are you? What do you want?"
"The name's Happousai m'dear! As for what I want..." he started looking back and forth in the room, frowning as he could find only Ranma's discarded clothes. "What's the deal here? Do you always run around naked?"
Usagi twitched, unable to fathom what he was looking for. "NO! Now get out! I'm in the middle of something here!" She prepared herself to blast the little gnome-thing in case he resisted, though she wanted to avoid fighting him if he could; she didn't really know how strong she was now, nor did she have any clue how powerful Happousai was in caparison.
Happousai cackled. "Yes, I can see that! And what a naughty girl, taking a man in his sleep! You'll have to be punished for that!" Grinning horribly, Happousai leapt forward, only to yelp in pain as he slammed into a glowing wave of energy emerging from the blonde's fist.
"Get away, you slimy little... thing!" Usagi shouted, finally remembering to summon her clothing back so that she wouldn't flash the horrible creature while fighting him.
Happousai blinked as he watched an oily darkness flood over the blonde girl's body before solidifying into a simple black, body-hugging leotard that clung desperately around her breasts to cover the minimum amount for decency while leaving them otherwise exposed. His mouth watered briefly before a thought occurred to him. She had clothes! Maybe she had panties now! He briefly considered that they might turn to oil or something once he took them, but shrugged off the idea. He had to try!
Usagi looked down at her new outfit and frowned, finding it unbearably... simple. She had been hoping for something more in line with her Senshi outfit, but maybe with some better bust exposure and less bows. She decided she'd have to come up with a better one for the next time she got in a fight.
Her distraction cost her, however, and she felt a great blow to her stomach throw her back into the wall with at least the same force she had used on Happousai earlier. Through the pain, she briefly felt an unidentifiable but dinstinctly uncomfortable sensation around her hips.
"No panties? Tsk! And no bra either, obviously!" Happousai chided as he rubbed himself between the girl's heroic assets.
Usagi's screech of rage was followed by a punch at the lecher's head that would punched a hole through a manhole cover. To her shock, the wrinkled old gnome jumped off at the last second and hooked her wrist with his pipe, somehow using the force of her own blow to send her sailing out the open window.
"Ha ha ha!" Happousai laughed as the window frame and sill was torn to splinters by the girl's passing (he was never big on accuracy). "That'll teach you to-OOF!" He was cut off as something smashed into his head from above, and then used it as a springboard to leap after the blonde.
Usagi winced as she felt the throbbing in her head from its impact with the window sill, but was mildly surprised that there was no blood. 'That little creep is going to pay for that!' She swore as she prepared to summon her wings to save her from the fall.
It turned out that she didn't need to, as something suddenly scooped her up from below in mid-air and held her closely in a carefully controlled descent. "Don't worry, I gotcha!"
Usagi blinked in surprise. It was the man she had been seducing just a minute before. "Uh... Hi! I'm Usagi! What's your name?"
Ranma, who had managed to slip on his boxers before leaping out to the rescue (and hadn't yet had time to wonder when he had stripped naked), gave the young woman an odd look.
Waiting until he touched down next to the koi pond, he glanced down at the curvaceous blonde in his arms, noting that she had slipping her arms around his neck and didn't look like she planned on letting go. "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about all this," he mumbled. 'Usagi? Didn't I just have a dream about some girl named Usagi or something? Weird coincidence.'
An irritating cackle brought the teenagers' attention back on the recently expanded window to Ranma's room, where Happousai was perched. "Ranma, you dog you! I never would have imagined that you'd have the gall to pull something like this! Luring everyone away so that you could bring over a new girlfriend on the fly! I AM impressed!"
Ranma growled. "It's not like that, old man! I don't even know her! But as long as we're on the topic, what the hell were you doin' attackin' her like that?"
Happousai raised an eyebrow. Ranma didn't know the girl? Yet she had been very nearly raping him in his sleep? "Well, that's an interesting story. You see, she-" BLAMMO! The old martial artist was blasted into Ranma's room as a beam of light erupted from Usagi's palm and smashed into him. A split-second later the point of contact erupted violently, and Ranma flinched as the wall separating his bedroom from the outside world was torn apart in a haze of destructive energy.
Usagi, who was flushing slightly from panic, quickly cleared her throat when she saw Ranma gaping. "And... um... don't you EVER touch me again, you pervert!" She said angrily, hoping it would cover for the timing of her attack.
Ranma was quite familiar with the bouts of feminine rage Happousai provoked, so he was not suspicious. He was, however, rather upset at seeing his normal place of rest blown apart. "My... My room..."
Usagi put a hand to her cheek. "Oh! Oh no! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to destroy the room too! But that man came out of nowhere and, and he grabbed me, and-"
The pigtailed boy sighed as he saw tears welling up in the girl's eyes. No hope of retribution there. And Happousai was probably unconscious from the blast. Just great. "Eh, don't worry about it. I'm used to camping and stuff. I'll just pitch a tent tonight and I'll be fine."
The blonde demoness could barely fight her grin. "Oh, I couldn't let you do that! Especially after you saved me from that fall! I could find a place for you stay tonight!"
Ranma couldn't recognize flirting that wasn't accompanied by a girl hugging, kissing, or fondling him, but the idea of letting a girl give him a place to sleep was just the sort of thing that would probably lead the fiancees into a jealous, violent frenzy the moment they got back, no matter what the circumstances actually were. "N-No! I mean, I couldn't! I'll work it out on my own, thanks." He started to put her down, and sweatdropped as he realized that Usagi's arms were still wrapped around his neck.
In all his panic, not once did he remember to ask what Usagi had been doing in his room in the first place to get thrown out of it.
"Oh, don't be like that!" Usagi said sweetly, smiling brightly at the martial artist. "Come with me!" Without waiting for a reply, she darted forward and trapped him in a deep, paralyzing kiss.
Unusually paralyzing, Ranma noted immediately, feeling his bodily energies began to shift curiously as the blonde moaned into his mouth. After a split second of surprised shock, however, that detail didn't seem important. In fact, neither did the inevitable return of the fiancee mob that would have lynched him in a second if they were to witness this very scene. It wasn't that big a deal, was it? He wasn't really cheating on anyone, just accepting a reconciliation from a girl who had wronged him. As for the present kiss... well, it sort of WAS cheating, but it felt damn good, and he'd probably get decked for it later anyway, so why not?
Usagi finally broke the kiss, and she spent a moment licking her lips and reveling in the taste as Ranma stared down at her drunkenly.
"Well, now that ya mention it, it does look like it's gonna get cold tonight," he mumbled as if in a daze. "I could use a spare couch. Or a futon, if ya got one."
The blonde demoness grinned up at him. All she had to do now was stir up the memories she had implanted, seduce him, and then turn him.
Suddenly, her eyes widened. The mirror! She had dropped it when the tiny old pervert had grabbed her the first time!
Biting her lip anxiously, she reluctantly released the pigtailed boy. "Yes, it's no problem... I just... have to go get something first."
Ranma blinked as the blonde leapt up to the remnants of his room (not an overly impressive feat in his book, though Akane probably couldn't jump that high), and suddenly he recalled that the girl had originally been in his room for some reason.
Ranma frowned. He had told Happousai he didn't know Usagi, but was that true? She seemed very familiar... and she, at least, seemed extremely comfortable around him. Strange.
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(Posted Mon, 08 Jan 2007 01:51)
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