Picking up what could only be a very tiny thong—as well as ignoring the high-pitched scream of ‘NAKED’, Pluto took several deep breaths.
“That’s right,” she murmured. “I am a rock, grounded in reality… I am at one with myself, one with the whole…”
She kept repeating the mantra, trying to ignore what sounded like a Chipmunks rendition of, ‘They Call Him the Streak!’
“I am not losing my mind,” she repeated a bit louder. “I am simply … over-excited due to my duty, to protect the bright future that is Crystal Tokyo…” she stated…
Right before she was hit by a miniature oversized beach ball.
“Dead Scream,” she whispered, her Garnet Rod pointed at the side. Sure enough, after several of them, she no longer heard the voices.
She considered this therapy.
Most would consider it genocide of an intelligent species that knew how to enjoy the beach.
Others would then question where said beach came about at the Gates of Time, but that is neither here nor there.
After spending nearly half an hour taking meditative breaths, she finally focused once more on the Gates. Surely, now that she was calm, focused, and mentally prepared, she could straighten out the time line.
flik!
Ranma Saotome, former Padawan, looked on at the burning fire. In his hand, he clutched his braid, the last act his Master had done before passing beyond this life.
He was a Jedi Master now, a dream come true.
And all it took was an ion storm, being lost, a severe crash landing on a world he had no idea what it was named, the death of his Master, and being stranded with nine female Initiates.
But it would be okay, he consoled himself. For one, at least he wasn’t on Dathomir. And two, it wasn’t like a rescue would never come. The Temple would send out a search party when they failed to arrive. Force with them, they would be able to locate where they had crashed.
Blinking, he turned to face his damaged astromech droid. “So, you got a signal before that system fried?” he asked.
The damaged droid beeped several times.
“Order 66?” Ranma asked. Now he wished a Clone Trooper had really survived. Maybe they could tell him what it meant.
flik!
Hotaru slowly cried as she watched the side of the damaged Crystal Moon Military Academy, home for the students who would one day grow up to enter the military of the Twelve Colonies, explode as the anti-matter of her father’s onsite lab was exposed to normal matter. The explosion ripped into the Cylon Basestar.
The adults had been avenged.
Her father had been avenged.
Feeling the comforting hand of her Sempai on her shoulder, she forced herself to stand tall. He was a great guy—although if one listened to the school, he still wasn’t even close to the Cadet general—a man named Chiba, currently in a coma on the experimental ship’s medical bay—and he would lead them to a better future.
“Oh,” cooed Cadet Aino. “What does this button do?”
And thus, the experimental ship engaged an also experimental drive. “MINA-CHAAAAaaaaannnnnn…”
flik!
“Oh, come on!” whined Haruka, slamming her near empty stein of mead onto the table. “We can do it!”
“You must have a death wish,” muttered the half-selkie, Michiru, next to her, running her finger over the top of her stein of water, her other hand tossing her aqua-marine hair over her shoulder.
Ranma Saotome, adventurer, warrior, mage, and world traveler just stared at the short-haired blond. “We are not going to the Domain of the Damned, just because you heard a rumor that there was an awesome treasure there.”
“What’s the danger?” Haruka asked.
“The damned and the undead, for one,” Michiru muttered.
“But we have a necromancer to deal with them,” Haruka stated, pointing to their fourth member.
Hotaru glared. “I am a medic.”
“You are also a necromancer,” Haruka stated with a smirk.
“I can also make that arm I reattached yesterday fall off again,” the small purple-haired girl growled.
Ranma just rubbed his forehead. No, he couldn’t just stay home, marry the princess his parents arranged for him, and live the quiet life as a king. He just had to travel.
flik!
“Will he be okay?” stammered Usagi nervously.
The robed figure turned around slowly, even as others worked on the young pigtailed boy. “You knocked him … into the Spice.”
“Yeah, but he’ll be okay, right?” Usagi continued. “I mean, the rituals we use for both the Freman and the Bene Gesserit require using it, right?”
Rei just twitched. “By the nearest Reverend Mother… Usagi! You dropped him in the pure stuff that was about to be shipped out!”
“… I don’t get it.”
“She means, that Sempai is tripping balls right now,” Makoto stated.
“Does this mean he’ll have super blue vision or something?” asked Minako.
flik!
“I shall call you … Luna!” Usagi chirped.
Ranma just palmed his face. “And this is why our unit is the laughing stock of the Terran Confederacy.”
“Did she just adopt a Zergling?” Ami asked.
“And you’ll be Artemis,” Usagi continued. “And you two will be our mascots for our unit!”
“She does realize we are at war with them?” Makoto asked Rei.
The raven-haired soldier merely shook her head.
Pluto could only blink, before palming her face. “Where is the warranty for this damned thing…?”
“WAAA~AAAAH!” came a high-pitched sound. “It’s summer camp all over again!”
Shaw-shaw-shaw-shaw…
No, no, she did not, absolutely, positively, see a lemming with a long knife, wearing a hockey mask.
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(Posted Thu, 28 Apr 2011 02:20)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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