The night was dark and gloomy.
The moon was shining high above the silent graveyard.
Spooky wafts of mist were floating over the ground, while two young heroes were waiting behind a big gravestone.
"I'm still saying this is a stupid idea," Ukyo whispered.
"Come on!" Link said quietly. "If there really is a ghost, we have to help the villagers. And besides, don't you think this is exciting?"
"Staying up late in the night to search for ghosts on a spooky graveyard does NOT fall under my ideas of excitement, thank you very much!" Ukyo grumbled. "I should've done the same as Navi and Tatl and stayed back in bed. That's one of the silliest things you ever convinced me to do."
"Be quiet now," Link whispered. "I think I hear something..."
And when the two ducked behind the gravestone, Ukyo could hear it as well: A hushed, but demented, cackling laughter that came from one of the gravestones.
A chill went down her spine when she saw a ghostly, translucent figure rising up from the grave, a wrinkled-up being that was carrying a lantern...
She then blinked. Wait a minute... Wasn't that...?
"I know that ghost!" she shouted and jumped out of their hiding place.
"Stop, Ukyo!" Link hissed. "Whatever happened to 'using the moment of surprise'?"
But his spatula-wielding friend didn't listen. She stormed up to the floating figure, who hadn't noticed her until now.
"Heheheheheh..." the ghost snickered. "I'm coming, my pretty darlings in silk..."
"You just can't stop doing this, can you?" a grim voice spoke up behind him. "Even in death, you're still the biggest pervert I've ever seen!"
The ghost of Happosai turned around in mid-air... and his eyes bugged out when he saw the cute girl standing in front of him. "Whoa, baby!" he shouted in glee. "Come to Poppa!"
"Not a chance, you freak!" Ukyo grumbled and stepped back, so the old ghost's lunge ended down on the floor.
Happosai muttered to himself while pulling his head out of the ground. "Still gotta learn how to use those phasing techniques..." he uttered. "So... what's a sweet girl like you doing out here, in a rotten place like this?"
"I came here for you!"
"REALLY?? Oh, happi day..."
"I DON'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!" Ukyo screeched.
Confused, Link came closer. Happosai seemed disappointed. "Aw, don't tell me you already have a boyfriend..."
"You know that old gnome?" Link wondered. "You never told me you had friends that are already dead..."
"He is NOT my friend," Ukyo snapped angrily. "And back when I met him, he was still alive."
"Heeyyyy!" Happosai suddenly snapped his pale fingers. "Aren't you the girl I met in that Dodongo-infested cavern all those years ago? I must say, you really turned into a beauty..."
Ukyo couldn't help but blush, but somehow, that compliment didn't quite feel right, coming from a perverted ghost.
Said ghost floated close to her body. "But I must say, your chest isn't really that impressive... you would think that after those years, you would have grown an impressive rack, like lovely Impa..."
Ukyo's brow twitched. "EXCUSE ME??"
"Well, she does wear breast bindings," Link pointed out.
"Really?" Happosai asked in disbelief. "Now that's a shame..."
"Enough about my breasts already!" Ukyo shouted in irritation.
Happosai floated back in surprise. "My, she has a short temper, hasn't she? Must be 'that time of the month'."
Neither Ukyo nor Link understood that last remark, so Ukyo just shook her head and said: "Never mind! Listen, we just came here to tell you that Impa is not pleased with how you are spying on the young girls of the village. I insist you stop your perverted ways of peeping and stay back in your grave."
"You want to take away an old man's last joy?" Happosai sniffled. "You're so cruel..."
"We can always beat him up and put him into a bottle," Link grinned. "Worked well with the Poes we met earlier."
Happosai suddenly paled (as much as a ghost can do so) and gulped. "Um, maybe we can talk things out..."
"Oh?" Ukyo asked. "Then how about this? You stay away from the village girls, and we refrain from turning you into mixed pickles."
"Can't we make a compromise?" Happosai pleaded. "Like, I'll peep only once a week?"
"Okay, understood!" Link shrugged. "We can always use some bottled ghosts where we are going..." And he pulled out one of their empty bottles.
"WAIT! Wait! Okay, I got it! No more peeping! I swear it!"
"And you better keep your word!" Ukyo said sternly. "We'll tell Impa and her daughter where they can find your grave. Believe me, they can use the bottle as well as we can."
"Oh, cruel world..." the wrinkled ghost sobbed. "Um, by the way... where are you going?"
"To the Forest Temple, to save a sage," Link explained.
"He doesn't need to know that," Ukyo groaned. "Do you have to blab out everything?"
Link grinned sheepishly. "Sorry?"
Happosai scratched his chin thoughtfully. "The Forest Temple, a sage, I see, I see... how very interesting! But, you know, entering that temple isn't going to be easy. The stairs leading up there have been destroyed a long time ago."
"You've been at the Forest Temple before?" Ukyo asked in surprise.
"Well, yeah, when I was a young guy, I once got lost in the Lost Woods... I wasn't quite the fighter I'm now... Or rather, I've been when I was still alive. Some Wolfos chased me to that hidden meadow, and that's where I saw the Forest Temple. It looked a bit spooky, so I didn't enter. But I always remembered that day later on. I decided that I would pay it a visit one day, so I built a little device that should help me reach the entrance. But I somehow never got down to do it... paying the temple another visit, I mean."
"And what happened to that 'device' you constructed?" Ukyo asked. "What is it anyway?"
Happosai smirked. "I kept it hidden until my days were over. I asked an old friend of mine to bury me with the few things I possessed... my precious collection, and also my little invention."
"May we have it?" Link asked. "We might need it to enter the Forest Temple..."
"Well, I don't know..."
Ukyo frowned. "Link, the bottle..."
"GAH! No, no, not the bottle! Okay, okay, you can have it! Sheesh..."
Ukyo smirked. "Thank you!"
She stepped in front of Happosai's grave, but hesitated when she touched the cold stone.
"Isn't this like grave robbery?" she whispered.
Link shook his head. "No, it's no robbery! Happosai allowed us to take something from there, right?"
That sounded right in Ukyo's ears, and together, they pushed back the heavy gravestone.
Ukyo's frown deepened when she pulled out an old, rotten piece of cloth... an ancient sack that contained the remains of various undergarments.
"I knew it..." she grumbled. "Even in death, he's an old pervert." She threw the sack aside ("Careful! My precious collection!") and pulled out a small chest from the grave.
She opened it, and Link took out a strange contraption. Attached to a handle was a metal chain, and on the other end of that chain, a spiky hook was attached. There also was a small button on the handle.
Happosai smiled proudly. "This is what I call the 'Hookshot'. Press the button and the chain will expand. Shoot it at any wooden surface and the hook will attach itself, allowing you to pull yourself to that point."
Link carefully took the hookshot in his right hand, looked around and aimed at a nearby tree, then he pressed the button.
KA-CHINK!
The hookshot came shooting out of the handle, expanding the chain to its full length, until the hook planted itself firmly into the solid wood of the tree.
"This thing is pretty long..." Link realized.
"Yeah," Ukyo said with a smirk as she looked down at the ghost. "Think he has to compensate for something?"
"M-mind your mouth now, girl!" Happosai said in an indignant voice. "Well, I hope you're satisfied with my little tool... Good luck with your search, and please, promise me one thing..."
"What?" Ukyo asked. "To bring you some fresh underwear for your collection?"
"Sounds tempting, but no! What I meant was: Please return to me after you've been in the Forest Temple, and tell me about it! I always wanted to see it ever since that fateful day in my youth, but never was able to. Please, do an old man that last favor, okay?"
Link shrugged. "Well, I guess we can do that..."
Happosai smiled. "Thanks a bunch, kiddos! I guess the old Happosai might just find his eternal rest that way. And hey, tell that Goron friend of yours I said hi, will ya? I'm still impressed with how he handled that Dodongo King."
"Sorry, I haven't seen him for some time," Ukyo said. "I really wonder what's he doing those days..."
----
Meanwhile, in Goron City...
Clinging closely to the teenaged Goron's chest, the little Goron girl sobbed heavily.
"Oniichan, when will Daddy return?"
Ryoga softly stroked the young girl's red hair. "Very soon, Yoiko! Very soon..."
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(Posted Tue, 20 Mar 2007 13:42)
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