The first inkling Naruto had that maybe this wasn’t going right was the glowing white hole that popped up in front of him, instead of him winding up on the other end of the forest. By the time he noticed something was slowly pulling him forward, it was too late. Boy and scroll vanished into the maw of the temporal rift, which closed soon after, leaving no trace of what had gone on just seconds before.
Naruto regained consciousness slowly – if what he awoke to could be counted as existing at all. The world was all white, infinite streaks of light flowing past him as he drifted along. He was there, and yet he wasn’t. The would-be ninja looked “down,” to see a bunch of tiny specks instead of his body.
The Fourth could have told him as much; the Hiraishin was meant to be true teleportation, breaking down the user into component atoms and reassembling them at the desired spot. Naruto had accomplished the former, but the incomplete jutsu had left him stuck on that step. His soul floated above a cloud of orange-colored (what else?) “dust.”
If he could see, he must have at least some control over what had become of him, but trying to “lift” his arm produced nothing.
I guess you have to have a body first.
Visualizing had gotten him into this mess. Maybe it could get him out. He shut his “eyes” and instead concentrated on what he had looked like before this whole mess had started. Gradually, he began to feel again, though even that sensation was forced – there was nothing in this Limbo of a place to feel. Opening his eyes, Naruto saw his body mostly together again.
Something around his stomach was still delaying the process. A persistent trickle of red specks streamed out of that area, keeping it from becoming fully solid. Blood? Probably not; if it had been blood, the original cloud of atoms would have been mostly red. But if it wasn’t blood, what was it? He couldn’t think of anything else.
Naruto had paid some attention to Iruka’s biology lessons, if only to know which places hurt the most when you hit somebody. Blood didn’t gather all in one place; maybe that was why it kept trying to get out of his stomach. If he split it up and stuck it everywhere instead of all together, maybe that would do it.
The existence of the mighty Kyubi no Youko ended in a spray of red molecules, vanishing into orange, defeated by the power of quantum physics and an oblivious eleven-year old boy.
Okay, he was intact again. Now what?
The White Place answered his question by disappearing.
Oh, crap.
Private Suite 6
Midorigawa Royal Hospital
Suruga Bay, Crown Homelands
Terra, Galactic Alliance
0237 Hours TST (Terran Standard Time)
17 July 3130, Imperial Reckoning (7101 A.D.)
Naruto shot bolt upright the moment he regained consciousness, paranoia from long years of avoiding abuse from villagers kicking in. This was not the forest he’d left, not unless soft hospital beds and futuristic rooms magically sprung up out of nowhere. It was better than the nightmares he’d been dealing with ever since using the Hiraishin and leaving the White Place, but it was still alien to him.
Strangers had rarely meant anything good for the Kyubi’s vessel. The blonde boy prepared to escape this new place, shoving the bedsheets off – until the breeze hit him.
Somehow he doubted he’d be able to go anywhere with just a hospital gown on.
Even in another time and place, Naruto’s luck remained terrible. The door chose to open just as he was moving to search the room for his clothes – giving the incoming nurse a good mooning in the process. Her scream was pretty loud for a woman that small – not that that made him feel any better.
“Man, I’m sorry, lady – hey! Where ya going?”
His apology fell on deaf ears as the nurse turned around and ran back out the door. Someone’s voice in an alien tongue began to echo through the halls, blaring out of speakers in the ceiling.
[Doctor Singh to Suite 6. Priority Patient Alert! Patient Zero has awakened. His Imperial Majesty is to be informed at once!]
Naruto understood not a word of it; he did, however, start to wonder what kind of place he’d wound up in that flashing bare ass would cause an alert.
Eventually, a man in a pristine lab coat opened the door, stepping through it with the nurse in tow. By now Naruto had at least gone back to sitting on the bed; he hadn’t managed to find anything beyond more gowns and medical supplies in the closets and drawers. The doctor (if indeed people here dressed like the ones in Konoha) produced an odd little box and spoke the same language from before into it.
The box squawked briefly and began to speak.
“Hello…who…you?”
Doctor Julian Singh had been prepared for a lot of reactions to the universal translator. An eleven year-old temporal outcast laughing at him hadn’t been one of them. Thankfully, the UT lit up and flashed its analysis of Naruto’s mocking commentary, then set itself to Archaic Japanese.
“Yes, yes, very funny.” Doctor Singh said. “It appears your sense of humor is working, at least.”
Naruto stopped as the box translated the doctor’s sentence correctly. So at least they were smart aliens and not retards.
“Who are you people, and where are my clothes?”
Never let it be said the boy didn’t have at least some of his priorities straight.
Doctor Singh drew a palm-sized computer out of his lab coat, consulting Naruto’s records.
“You appeared without them. Uncontrolled quantum travel can get…messy. I wouldn’t worry. With the interest His Imperial Majesty has shown in you, I should think he’d take care of it for you.”
The blonde said nothing, eyes narrowing at the mention of this Emperor guy. Admittedly, he hadn’t paid much attention to Iruka’s lectures on anything but ninjutsu, but he’d never heard of any country ruled by an Emperor. A few Daimyos maybe, but no Emperors.
“Fine then, gimme some new clothes so I don’t accidentally moon him. I’m pretty sure this Emperor guy don’t need to see that.”
Naruto watched as the doctor and nurse both paled slightly. These people really did have a hang-up about butts.
Julian Singh envied the boy his naïveté. Nobody knew where Saijo the Omnipotent had gotten the idea for a law preventing anyone from “disrespecting” the Emperor of Terra. All they knew was that it had been in place since Saijo had conquered the Earth, and had caused many an untimely death for the loose-lipped.
“Son, a word of advice. The Emperor is only to be referred to as His Highness or His Imperial Majesty – even among your friends and family. Unless, of course, you have a death wish, in which case, feel free to continue referring to him as ‘that Emperor guy.’”
Naruto was about to respond, before the door slid open again and an old man in Hokage-style robes entered.
“I don’t know about that, Julian. A little variety keeps things fresh.”
Doctor Singh and the nurse quickly sketched a bow and curtsy, respectively. Naruto got off the bed and did his best to contort himself respectfully while keeping his ass well covered. The Emperor (if this was him) might be a nice guy, but why risk it?
Doctor Singh straightened up and turned to the blonde.
“I have the honor of introducing His Imperial Majesty Katsuhito VII, Emperor of Terra and the Hundred Colonies, Elder Emeritus of the Lords Regnant, and Head of the Galactic Alliance.”
Katsuhito clapped his hands lightly, expression weary.
“Thank you, Doctor, for that scintillating recitation. You give the Imperial Stewards a run for their money. However, I think it was lost on your audience. I’ll take it from here.”
The medics left the room swiftly, walking backwards all the way. Naruto noted this for later. Apparently even pointing your ass at the Emperor was out.
Thankfully, he could at least look upon the man. When Naruto did so, he was greeted by a familiar sight; one that should not – could not – be, and yet was.
The aged, well-worn visage of the Third Hokage stared back at him from above those robes.
All right, it wasn’t exactly the same. Katsuhito had more wrinkles than the old Kage, if that were even possible. The Third’s twinkling eyes were dimmed instead, a calculating gleam visible here and there if you looked hard enough.
Most of all, the very air about the two men distinguished them in Naruto’s eyes. Spend any amount of time around the Hokage and you could feel the warmth in him, the energy that burned to protect the village and its people.
The first thing he’d thought when he really got a good look at Katsuhito was how very old the Emperor seemed. Age layered itself upon stooped shoulders, a physical weight in the air.
Katsuhito took all this staring in with a dry, rasping laugh.
“Have I got something on my face?”
“You look like someone I know,” was all Naruto dared to reply.
“Used to know,” the Emperor corrected him. “This place is changed from when you left it.”
“You mean you’re not aliens?”
The boy responded without thinking, as usual. The Emperor gave what passed for bellowing laughter in a man his age.
“Aliens? You’ll see plenty of those in due time. Doctor Singh and I are as human as human gets. The problem is, 3,000 years can do much to change a language. Most people no longer speak Archaic Japanese. I do, but that’s just necessity talking. Use a dead language and people have a much harder time reading your lips for stray information.
“Now, I’ll see about ordering you something normal to wear and then…”
(Posted Sun, 17 Jun 2007 23:24)
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