Misty started fighting Misty; each calling the other an imposter in stereophonic screeching. They threw blows, and blocked them. They reached for the other’s hair, and dodged at the same time. They pulled away, then charged into each other, with predictable results. They picked themselves up, then high-kicked each other in the chin.
“Would you two stop that,” Ash’s voice came over the intercom. “Perfectly symmetrical violence won’t solve a thing.”
“Oh, hush, this is getting hot,” Brock’s voice chided. “It’s a total dupli-cat fight!”
“Brock, you JERK!” the Misties exclaimed and promptly resumed trying to cover themselves.
“I’m getting some excellent data!” the Professor’s voice exclaimed. “Their wavy-line-thingies are identical. Amazing!”
“How did you get this job?” Ash’s voice wondered. “Can you believe him?”
“I know,” Brock agreed. “We have two cute naked girls duking it out, and he’s reading instruments?”
“That’s not what I meant,” Ash’s voice sighed.
“What ‘wavy-line-thingies?’ ” demanded Misty, while Misty demanded, “what ‘wavy-line-thingies?’ ”
“He means ‘Psychometabolic Energy Signatures,’ didn’t you Professor?” Nurse Nanako’s voice interrupted.
“Er… Yes. Of course. That is what I mean. I just, dumbed it down for the kids. So… you’ve finished your nutrient ba-… your shower early, then?”
“Yes, Professor,” Nanako’s voice agreed coldly. “Despite my clothes disappearing from the changing room. Or the new deadlock bolt welded to the door. Or being unexpectedly sucked down the drain and deposited into a jelly filled tube! Anyway, what did I tell you about conducting illicit experiments on my patients?”
“To… wait until you were available to supervise?” the Professor’s small voice asked, hopefully.
“Not quite,” the Nurse’s voice stated dryly. “We will talk about this latter. Now, exactly what is happening in there?”
“It’s fascinating! The subject —erm, that is, Misty— appears to have bonded with a mitoso- mitosi- A duplication shikami. She’s gained the ability to be in two places at once. Think of the potential uses! Think of the advance to science! Think of the alibis!”
“Is she’s alright?”
“Yes, yes, she’s fine. Er, that is, to be safe we should perform some exploroboty- explanatory- Some hands-on tests!”
“Which of them is the original?” Nanako wondered.
“I am,” exclaimed the Misties. “She’s the imposter!”
“We just got them to stop that,” Ash’s voice complained.
“You see,” the Professor’s voice explained. “We won’t be able to tell them apart until we do a complete biopsy. Now, Brock, help me with the examination chair. Yes the one with the straps and stirrups. I’ll need to perform a pap smear, and a complete gynecological work up. Also a mammogram.”
“Oh, so, those terms he knows,” Ash’s voice commented.
“What? Yes, of course we’ll need to take measurements and photographs, Brock. And I’m sure you can have copies.”
The Misties heard a double thump, followed by a pair of thuds, then Ash’s voice saying, “they certainly had that coming.”
The vault door cycled open, and the Misties were confronted by a dripping, naked nurse Nanako, though draped in bath towel. “Alright, you two, come with me. Ash, wait here while I sort this out.”
“Are you sure that’s safe, Nurse?” Ranma asked nervously as the Misties emerged from the chamber.
“I assure you I’m quite capable of handling a rogue shikami, Ash,” the Nurse replied confidently, and muttered darkly, “I get enough experience working here.”
“I meant leaving me with these two,” Ranma pointed out.
“You’ll be fine. They’ll recover soon enough.”
“That’s what I meant!”
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(Posted Tue, 29 May 2007 13:54)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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