Awkward moments were never really all that uncommon in Nerima, and in the case of Ranma Saotome, they were so common that whenever the martial artist didn’t have to deal with awkwardness, it was, well, awkward. Still, none of Ranma’s previous experience with social uneasiness could have adequately prepared him for the next ten minutes of his life.
This was not just because Ranma would have to share a rather deep kiss with the three women whom he liked very much, though that was a big part of it. Nor was the fact that he would be sharing a kiss with a woman for whom he harbored a great deal of dislike the major contributor to the scenario’s overall discomfiture, though this too, could not be overlooked. No, what made the situation truly awkward was the fact that these four women would be kissing each other—and only two of those women held any attraction to other girls.
This made for some rather interesting mental conversations among the telepaths.
Ranma was blushing intensely as he realized that Shampoo wasn’t willing to let him go with just a quick peck on the lips; they were about five seconds into their kiss, and Ranma knew that the others were getting rather antsy watching them.
Uh, Shampoo, Ranma asked through his link to the Amazon, is there a reason we even have ta do this at all? I mean, you already gave me the Kiss of Marriage, right?
True, but this is the first time you’ve actually returned the favor, Airen.
Um, the others are waitin’….
I just want to make sure my wives know how someone like you deserves to be kissed. That’s why we went first, after all.
Uh, right….
Finally, Shampoo let Ranma breathe once again, and the two sat down. “Akane, Ukyo—you’re up.”
“Thanks, Ranchan,” Ukyo said as she stood up. “Are you ready, Akane?”
“No.”
“Neither am I, so why don’t we just get it over with?”
“Might as well,” agreed Akane.
As the two heterosexual women moved their heads closer together, their eyes closing in what almost looked like a wince, it seemed to Ranma that their thoughts were in unison: Just pretend she’s Ranma, and soon it will be over.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment, Ranma-sama.”
“I know, Kodachi. Can we get this over with?”
What followed was a kiss that managed to have almost no romantic qualities, but Ranma couldn’t help but notice a strongly sexual charge behind it. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Kodachi was trying to seduce him, rather than marry him.
Of course I’m trying to seduce you, Ranma-sama. Haven’ you been paying attention?
“Akane ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“No worry—it be all right.”
The Amazon smiled, and Akane was struck by the way it reminded her of her oldest sister’s very warm and protective. Akane took a deep breath and nodded her head, signaling that she was ready to begin.
Ranma looked on as Akane and Shampoo kissed, but his mind was distracted by what he was picking up from Kodachi: No wonder she told me to stay away from her—the gaijin wants to be the one to introduce Akane to the joys of Sapphism! I’ll have to redouble my efforts if I want to—
The martial artist didn’t particularly feel like listening to the gymnast antics, however. Knock it off, Kodachi.
And so it went as the five teenagers kissed a total of ten times, ending with the two whose interaction with a well-meaning but sadly mistaken genie had made this arrangement necessary to begin with. “Look’s like it’s just you an’ me left, Ucchan.”
“Yeah….” Ranchan? Ukyo added mentally.
Yeah?
I’m really sorry about all this.
Ain’t no point in dwellin’ on the past, Ucchan. Best we can do now is make the most of what we got.
I guess you’re right. Enough stalling—let’s get married. With that, the two best friends kissed, and united themselves in matrimony (albeit an unconventional one).
Cologne couldn’resist a smile as the two finished. “I now pronounce you husband and wives,” she declared. “Welcome to the tribe.”
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(Posted Tue, 24 Jul 2007 07:54)
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