Zodiac Senshi: A Kiss Before Flying [Episode 192347]

by Animethropologist

Ranma hadn’t been sure exactly why he’d chosen to leave when he did. Wanderlust had just cropped up, and he saw no real reason to fight it. Sure, there was the Tendos’ hospitality, but after years of being periodically abandoned by the old panda, he could take care of himself easily enough. He wasn’t sure whether the assorted fiancées, rivals, and so forth would settle down or go critical in his absence, but since he didn’t have to be there to find out, it didn’t weigh too heavily on his conscience. The fact that he was leaving Akane for a time didn’t even register. Nope. Not a factor. Didn’t even occur to him. In any case, and with any luck, all the energy that was usually devoted to killing and/or romancing him would be directed to hunting down Happosai once and for all.

‘Yeah right,’ he mused to himself as he continued roof-hopping. ‘They’ll all prob’ly come looking for me. I bet the whole bunch is huddled over a map, tryin’ to guess where I went.’


Everyone in the room sneezed simultaneously. Kasumi passed out tissues while the planning of the nation-wide search resumed.
Fortunately, not even Ranma was certain where he’d go. He had just decided to pick a direction and go that way until he found a martial artist willing to show him a few moves or a dojo with an open-minded sensei. (He’d half expected to stop before leaving Nerima, but the heir to Martial Arts Accordion Playing had had his flight delayed. Naturally, his latest battle polka had been inspired by a petite redhead he’d seen in the Chinese countryside.) Until then, he’d just keep moving in a straight line, unaware of a certain cross-dressing ninja shadowing him.
As most Love Hina readers and watchers know, Motoko Aoyoma’s defining traits include, among other things, pride, near-obsessive focus on swordsmanship, and misandry that gives way to lust for Keitaro Urashima as sublimated in writing trashy romance novels. One of the larger factors in her development has been acute cheloniphobia, or the intense fear of turtles. Combined with aforementioned pride and focus, it should come as little surprise that since the inception of the Hinata Sou Improbably Powerful Girls Tournament, she had developed an entire sub-branch of the God’s Cry School devoted to the destruction of shelled reptiles. (It also works wonders on cockroaches.)

Su, on the other hand, was just a mad genius with a somewhat more positive turtle obsession.

The end result was a semi-android turtlebot which had been armed to the keratinous cutting surfaces (turtles don’t have teeth) pitted against a swordswoman who had invented and refined several techniques meant almost exclusively for destroying turtles.

Given the circumstances, the fight was surprisingly even. Su had watched Motoko perfecting her techniques, and had even provided training dummies on occasion, so she knew some of the mechanics involved and could design Mecha-Tama 19 to counteract them. At the moment, one of those countermeasures was about to be put to the test.

“Dragon Slaying Slash revised: Turtle Smiting Slash!”

“Engage EM shieldamajig!”

The sword smashed into the energy shield, bolts of ki and electricity arcing out from the impact and grounding themselves into the earth, the referee, and the “You Will Receive Collateral Damage” rows of the bleachers.

The two fighters broke the struggle, landing on opposite sides of the ring. “Plasma fireballs!” commanded Su.

The projectiles met against the “Cutting Air Spark revised: Cutting Air Shell Breaker!” resulting in a series of minor midair explosions that left the arena covered in smoke.

When the smoke cleared, all assembled couldn’t believe what they saw.

Su had pulled a remote control seemingly out of nowhere and had pressed a big red button. Mecha-Tama 19’s chest cavity was empty, though there was a jet contrail leading from the empty space to Motoko’s head. At said head was something no one had expected: Motoko and what looked like one of Sarah’s pottery heads mounted on a robotic flying turtle body were engaged in a rather passionate looking liplock.

The grinning inventor proudly proclaimed, “Behold! Mecha-Tama 19’s secret weapon: Krishna-Chan 2.0! The ultimate in kissing practice technology in missile form!” Su moved to the two, still engaged in an oral embrace. One poke to the forehead, and the stunned Motoko went down.

“Um…well, Motoko is clearly unable to continue fighting,” said Keitaro. “This round goes to Su.”


Ranma grinned. His ki senses had picked up on something big, and judging from the smoke clouds rising from that direction, it was exactly what he was looking for. He adjusted course and began heading for what was undoubtedly a superb dojo.

“He appears to have decided on his destination, Ukyo-sama,” Konatsu reported via cell phone. “It’s in Hinata, a hot spring town a few hours away from Nerima. There appear to be a few accomplished martial artists here, judging from the ki I felt earlier.”

“Excellent work, Konatsu. Keep a close eye on him, I’ll make sure everyone else stays well away from that area.”

“Thank you Ukyo-sama. Although…”

Ukyo’s concern came in clear. “What? Has he noticed you?”

“No, not as of yet, but this phone…are you sure you can afford to grant such a luxury to one as insignificant as I? Surely carrier pigeons—”

“Good-bye, Konatsu.” *click*

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(Posted Wed, 25 Jul 2007 21:44)


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