[Episode 192443] [Episode 192443]“Don’t you just love the ‘something else’ option?” Nabiki asked rhetorically. “You have to admire the simplicity of the concept. You reach the end of an episode, try to come up with every possibility you can for continuation, and list them out, only to come up with an even better one down the road. That’s why it’s so great—it gives every idea a second chance.”
“Will ya stop waxin’ poetic and just tell us what yer gonna do?” Ranma asked. “I’d like ta get this annoyin’ exposition outta the way so we can get back ta havin’ sex.”
“Very well,” Nabiki said. “In the weeks since the previous episode was written, it has occurred to me that there isn’t a very large market for yaoi on the Anime Addventure.”
“So what else is new?” Akane asked.
Nabiki chose to ignore that bit of sarcasm and instead continued to outline her plan. “Well, the original idea was that the Horde should rape each other since they keep trying to rape you, right?”
“I’m not certain they’re actually trying to rape me in canon,” Akane said. “Takahashi-sama generally avoided stuff like that during the manga’s run.”
“Akane, the fourth wall’s down. Canon doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“Which is why we had to use this laptop to get you in the mood,” Nabiki responded. “But I digress. Anyway, Akane’s probably right that it’s not a good idea to punish the Horde for being hormonal idiots—that’s the way they were written, after all. But at the same time, we don’t want them making unwanted advances and interrupting our sex scenes. Thus, I’m going to take my turn-’em-gay idea and soften it a bit.”
“How’re ya gonna do that?” asked Ranma.
“Simple: the yaoi brainwash will only cover those males who actually try to rape somebody. That way, it only happens to those everybody agrees are scumbags.”
“But what if the girl’s got a rape fantasy?”
“I’m glad you asked, little sister. I’m going to get around that by using the sex-story definition of rape instead of the legal definition.”
“There’s a difference?”
“Of course there is. In real life, any time someone is forced to engage in sex acts against their will, it’s rape. Obviously, that doesn’t apply in sex stories, or we’d all be in trouble. In sex stories, whether a forced sex act is considered ‘rape’ usually hinges on whether or not the victim ends up enjoying herself. In other words, if she gets turned on, it doesn’t count. Thus, if someone from the Horde does try to rape a girl, if she has rape fantasies, he won’t turn yaoi, because she’ll be turned on. That way, nobody gets punished for doing anything that was actually wanted. Smart, huh?”
“Uh, I guess,” Ranma said. “But what if somebody tries ta rape a guy?”
“Ranma, this is the Anime Addventure. Nobody wants to read yaoi here. The odds against a yaoi writer who’s good enough not to have their work deleted coming here and deciding to write a gay rape scene are so astronomical that I think we can safely ignore the possibility until it actually happens.”
“Okay, what if a girl tries ta rape a guy?”
At this, both Tendo sister spontaneously burst into laughter.
“Hey, it could happen. I mean, this is fiction, after all.”
Nabiki managed to regain her composure long enough to answer the redhead. “Ranma, if a girl tries to force a guy to have sex with her, then she’d better make sure he’s enjoying himself, or she’s going to have a rather difficult time enjoying herself.”
“Oh… right.” Ranma pondered this for a few seconds before coming up with a rejoinder: “What about oral sex? A guy ain’t gotta be turned on ta lick a pussy.”
“Look, do you want to drag this conversation out to go over every detail, or do you want to get to the next sex scene?”
“Uh, sex, please.”
“As I thought. Well, then, if there are no further objections…”
Nabiki glanced at her partners, both of whom shook their heads vigorously.
“Good. Then I’ll put my plan into place…” Nabiki paused to type in a series of commands. “…and there we go. No more unwanted attention from the Horde.”
“Great,” Ranma said. “Now, ya were sayin’ somethin’ about a sex scene?”
“Just hold on a minute, Saotome. I said I was going to be bringing someone else in, right?”
“Right,” Ranma agreed with an eager nod.
“Well, it follows that we’re going to have to have some options, right?”
Indeed it did, and so the next author chose the new character from the following options:
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(Posted Wed, 08 Aug 2007 00:38)
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