As Ranma was being led to the girls’ bath, Sailor Aquarius bowed again before her fellow Senshi and said, “I am sorry, but I feel it would be best if I stayed here for the moment. I will be happy to aid in the search for the others, and would greatly appreciate it if you chose to stay here briefly.”
“Certainly, Aquarius-san,” said a gracious Sailor Moon. The newest warrior of love and justice gave a small smile and entered the building.
“Now then,” said Sailor Mercury. “Back to the matter of these fascinating readings I got from that young woman who aided Sailor Aquarius.
“So, why is this interesting again, Mercury?” asked a confused Sailor Moon. She hadn’t really followed the earlier analysis.
“Well, as I said earlier, this young woman has more curses piled on her than you have special attacks,” began the Senshi of Ice. “Some of it is karmic backlash, some is vestiges of semimystical ailments that were later cured, some are semipsychological in nature, and there’s one that actually transforms the victim!”
“Transforms? Is this girl one of the new Senshi?” Mars inquired.
"A transforming curse? Almost sounds like a disguised youma..." pondered Jupiter.
“Neither, actually. This girl, if this scan is correct (and I’ve never known the Mercury Computer to be wrong,) is not actually female!”
This brought a brief contemplative silence to the costumed warriors of love and justice. Venus broke it with a stunning revelation: “Oh, so Mercury was just ogling a boy!”
Blood nearly broke the sound barrier as it rushed to supply Sailor Mercury’s blush. “Wha—bu—I…”
Jupiter smirked and gave the blue-haired girl a friendly elbow nudge. “Knew there was a libido somewhere in there, Little Miss Bookworm.”
“You know,” mused the future Queen, “I always thought she spent just a little longer scanning the cute youma…”
“THAT’S NOT IT AT ALL!” The other Senshi weren’t the only ones who turned to face Sailor Mercury after this outburst. The blush redoubled. “Er, that is, I was only able to detect the curse. It’s not like I could see what the male form looked like.”
Venus jumped to another conclusion. “Well, good news for Haruka and Michiru then.”
“Are you sure?” The Senshi of Fire asked. “Those two don’t seem like they want another…partner.”
“Well, I’m sure they can give her some advice,” Jupiter noted.
“I’ll give you this, Mercury-chan,” Sailor Moon said to her distressed friend, “You seem to have rather good taste.”
“I AM NOT A LESBIAN!” Having killed the fantasies of a few returning tournament spectators, Sailor Mercury began a frustrated tirade devoted to preventing any further interruptions. “I was noting the transformation curse with solely academic interest, as I have never encountered such a phenomenon before and it appears to implement subspace much as we do to store henshin pens and so forth in order to sidestep the issue of altered mass.
“Furthermore, the young woman, or to be more accurate, young man, seems to share a number of traits in his aura with the mooncats, suggesting he was either preserved from the Silver Millenium or reincarnated from then. Further scans revealed that while his body does not show any signs of suspended animation, he does have access to a subspace pocket much like Luna’s, wherein are stored a few magical accessories for the Zodiac Senshi. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that this young man is acting as an advisor for the Zodiac Senshi, though given his human form and abnormally high ki levels, in what will likely come to be something of a more active role than those of Luna and Artemis.” She took a few breaths, and concluded with “Any questions?”
“Mercury-san?” asked one of the spectators. “Is it true that your computer contains over ten gigabytes of porn?”
“SHABON SPRAY!” The attacking Senshi noted her compatriots’ expressions. “He had it coming. Besides, it was a stream of bubbles. It couldn’t have hurt that badly.”
“I can’t feel my toes…”
“Quiet, you.” Mercury turned back to her fellows. “Now, who wants to get acquainted with our new allies?” She gave a smile so innocent it made the others question whether she had really just blasted some random pervert. It also made them completely forget that she had never actually answered his question.
“Note to self:” Konatsu murmured from within a tree as the Senshi entered the girls’ dorm, “The girls in short skirted sailor uniforms are not to be trifled with.”
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(Posted Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:56)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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