Not every tenant of the Hinata Sou possessed combat skills that belied her delicate appearance, and therefore not all of them were involved in the Improbably Powerful Girls Tournament. Mutsumi had provided refreshments from her seemingly infinite watermelon supply before going off to gossip with Tama-chan. Tsuruko and Nyamo had come to visit, but unlike Kanako, they weren’t competing, instead using the tournament as an excuse to visit with family in one case and friends in the other. (Also, Tsuruko had become Motoko’s first and best customer for her romance novellas, each having sworn to impale the other should she make it public knowledge.) Seta and Haruka (Noriyasu neč Urashima, not Ten’ou,) were…somewhere. The two were becoming as nomadic as Grandma Urashima.
And then there was Kitsune.
At the time of Dominus’ attack, Ms. Konno was taking advantage of the tournament to close the tea house early and get good and sloshed long before anyone else would approve of, had they been present or aware of her plot.
“Thish iz de life,” slurred the soused woman. “Jush me, shome booze, shummore booze, and…” She trailed off, unsure of what else she could do. Then the spirits of ill fortune from the Hina- and Ranmaverses combined forces and struck her with the best (or worst, depending on your viewpoint,) drunken inspiration since Marmite. “A bath! Cold booze an’ a hot bath. Paradishe.”
“Here’s the bath, Saotome-san,” said Shinobu, playing the hostess to the hilt. “Do you need anything else?”
“No, really, that’s OK,” said an increasingly anxious Ranma. She could practically hear Murphy’s Law preparing to enforce itself. “I-I’m just kinda shy, so if you could…”
“Oh! Of course.” Shinobu turned to leave. “Have a pleasant bath.”
“Yeah, thanks…” Ranma began to disrobe. ‘OK,’ she thought to himself, ‘Quick in-an’-out, get off the worst of the travelin’ funk, get male again, don’t leave any time for someone ta’ walk in an’ mallet me or somethin’.’ She rushed to the hot spring, intent on performing this plan to the letter.
There is a saying: Man plans, God laughs. For beings like Ranma Saotome, this applies doubly so. In a place with a history like that of the Hinata Sou women’s bath, it applies triply so. Needless to say, several gods had popcorn and video recording equipment at the ready.
“Ah, Kitsune!” Shinobu noticed the inebriated woman headed for the bath, requisite supplies in tow. “We have a guest in the bath and she’s very shy. If you could—” The smell hit the girl like an aromatic fist. “How much have you drunk? You could drown like that!”
Kitsune, intent on her paradise of beer and bathing, ignored Shinobu’s ministrations as she would a hovering fly. Sailor Aquarius passed by, intent on collecting a few items from her room. “Heyya, there. Nishe ou’fit. You Su’s sish?” She paused as the fuku-wearing figure before her seemed to subdivide. “There a reunion I did’n’ hear about?”
The Senshi responded to this with a small smile and a raised eyebrow. “Ms. Konno, I can almost hear your liver weeping tears of enzymes.”
This said, she resumed her course, only to be stopped by Shinobu. Though she lacked a blood alcohol level that would make an elephant stagger, the polite girl was still stumped by the Senshi disguise field. “Excuse me, Miss, but who are you exactly?”
At this Aquarius gave a slightly larger smile. “Your friend was close before she began to see double, Ms. Maehara. As for now, my identity is…” Shinobu leaned in close. “A secret.”
In a world that floated on the golden sea of Chaos, a certain purple haired general-sage sneezed. “Damned meme…”
Of course, in her quest to identify one of her fellow residents, Shinobu had allowed a drunken Kitsune to enter the hot spring that was currently occupied by one now very male martial artist. Meanwhile, Ukyo Kuonji, thanks to Konatsu’s tracking skills, was making a beeline for Hinata, while the Inner Planetary Senshi had been invited for a stay at the Hinata Sou. The gods and other extradimensionals awaiting the meeting of excrement and rotary cooling device, camcorders running, noted the narrative thread convulsing and splitting. They eagerly followed:
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(Posted Tue, 14 Aug 2007 20:52)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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