Things seemed to keep getting worse and worse for Genma Saotome. His survival instincts had been on high alert for most of the evening, and though he’d managed to dodge his wife’s katana and had nearly struggled out of his family’s nosiness (at least he thought he’d been getting close), the Kuonji girl had to pick now of all times to show up. Granted, she didn’t exactly look female at the moment, but what other explanation was there for the baker’s peel in her arms? In any case, while her timely appearance did have the benefit of rendering the previous argument moot, this pro was more than outweighed by the cons generated by the situation.
Like the fact that the girl obviously wanted to hurt him very, very badly.
“It’s been ten years since you destroyed my life, and I intend to return the favor.”
“Oh, uh, really? Um, out of curiosity, just how much do you remember about it?”
“Every single detail.”
“Crap.”
“Well, do you have anything to say for yourself?”
Fortunately, Genma’s lifetime of experience in Anything Goes had been focused on training his mind for occurrences such as these. In a matter of milliseconds, his mind raced through myriad possibilities before he finally decided that his best course of action was that tried-and-true strategy, the Bait and Switch™. “Ranma! You remember Ukyo Kuonji, don’t you?”
“Ukyo Kuonji?” Ranma paused, as if sifting through a sea of uncategorized memories. “Ukyo… Ukyo… Oh, yeah!” Ranma’s face suddenly brightened. “Of course; Ukyo! Ya were the one who made okonomiyaki! How’re ya doin’ Ucchan—yipe!”
Ranma’s greeting was stopped short as a spatula flew through the air. The martial artist just managed to jump out of the way of the utensil, which had apparently been sharpened, since it stuck in the wall directly behind him.
“Don’t you ‘Ucchan’ me,” the newcomer said with a scowl. “When I’m through with him, you’re next.”
Ranma sighed. “Great… what the hell did ya get me inta this time, Pops?”
However, standing in Genma’s place was a rather damp-looking specimen of Ailuropoda melanoleuca hold up a sign reading [I’m just a cute, cuddly panda.] Naturally, no-one from either the Tendo or the Saotome families bought this, but Ukyo on the other hand had no reason to think otherwise.
“What the… that bastard skipped out on me! Again!” As the newcomer’s face grew redder, it wasn’t long before a substitute was found. “Fine! I’ll take care of Ranma now!”
This was not exactly an ideal situation for the pigtailed martial artist. “Hold up…”
“Prepare to meet your maker, Ranma!” Ukyo shouted as she jumped towards Ranma, ready to strike with her baker’s peel.
Ranma narrowly jumped away as the oversized spatula came slamming down on the floor, breaking several of the floorboards. “Wait, Ucchan… I can explain! At least, I think I’ll be able once I figure out why yer so mad….”
“Shut up!” Ukyo flung several more sharpened spatulas from her bandolier, one of which ripped into Ranma’s tang.
“Take it outside, please,” Ranko yelled. “If you destroy my house, I am going to be extremely peeved.”
Ukyo seemed ready to comply with this, as she slammed Ranma in the side with her peel, sending him flying through the shoji into the yard.
“Well, that’s not quite what I meant, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.”
“Aren’t you more concerned about your brother?” Nodoka asked.
“Not really. He’s still holding back in the hopes that he can convince his friend to talk things out. I can tell. But it seems that whatever Pops did, he’s going to be in really hot water this time.”
All heads turned towards the person in question, who continued to sit in a corner holding up yet another sign: [Still just a cute, cuddly panda.]
Kuno was brainstorming ways to get his sister and Ranma together, and to his credit, he was getting a bit more than the drizzle that usually resulted from such attempts. “It should be a reasonably simple task to demonstrate my sister’s worthiness to my loves’ noble yet savage relative,” he said to himself as he paced his room. “After all, I already know that his opinion is greatly swayed by skills in the martial arts, and while my sister is far from my level of ability, she is quite good for a woman, though her chosen Art is an esoteric one. Yet that should not be a deterrent, for Ranma seems quite capable of gauging martial arts skills. Indeed, ’twas surely this talent that has allowed him to see through my otherwise unequaled skills. I am quite certain that my sister shall capture his heart if given the chance to properly demonstrate her skills before him. Hmm…”
The kendoist put his hand to his chin as he continued to ponder this dilemma. Suddenly, an idea came to him. “Sasuke!”
“Yes, sir?” answered his loyal servant, coming from… well, somewhere.
“When is my sister next going to have a match against the Furinkan gymnastics team?”
“About a week from now, sir.”
“Excellent. See that Ranma Saotome is provided with front-row seats for the match, would you?”
“Of course,” Sasuke replied as he left to room to fulfill his order.
This was very good—the match was the perfect opportunity for Kodachi to demonstrate her skills, and it didn’t hurt that Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics accentuated the beauty of the female body, either. If Kuno could convince Ranma to attend, the latter was almost certain to become enamored of his sister. This, however, only solved one part of the problem, for what good would Ranma’s affection be if it went unrequited?
Here, Tatewaki faced another conundrum—what exactly was his sister looking for in a companion?
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(Posted Tue, 11 Sep 2007 23:56)
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