“So, Ami,” said Setsuna, amused by the other Outers’ antics. “How would you like to join this little trip?”
“Eh?” Ami had managed to find the archived remnants of the Silver Millennium equivalent of Wikipedia, and was currently browsing…well, it had begun with something on the Zodiac Senshi. Now she’d found herself reading up on magical synthesis of transuranic metals.
“Would you like to go to New York with us and listen to the lovebirds repeatedly perform a planetary conjunction?”
“Uh huh, that’s fine.” Let’s see what the “random page” link takes us this time…
“I’ll take care of that myself.”
“Eek!”
“Oh, it was only the first time.”
“Ook…”
“Look, if you don’t go, Ridcully will come barging in here demanding to know why not. Then when will the grimoires get fed?
The Librarian considered this. He mentally weighed allowing Rincewind to feed the more viscous tenants of the Unseen University library versus Mustrum Ridcully entering said library in full bluster. The mental tabulation took less than a tenth of a second. “Ook.” The Librarian handed Rincewind the bowl of newspaper clippings and set off for his assistant’s office.
“Excuse me, Miss?” A kind-sounding voice came from behind her.
Akane turned to see an equally kind-looking older gentleman. “Yes?”
“Are you, by any chance, a martial artist?”
Akane was momentarily stunned. Finally! Someone who recognized true talent. She preened a bit. “So you could tell?”
“Well, you appeared to be meditating. I could hear you repeating your mantra under your breath.”
Said mantra had actually been a constant low chant of “Ranma no baka,” but there was no way Akane was going to tell the man that. “Oh, yes. Meditating. That’s wha I was doing. Very astute of you, sir.”
“Ah.” He nodded to himself. “Heard the legend, then?”
"Legend?”
The old man looked out to the sea in a wonderfully dramatic pose. “They say those who meditate at this point can perceive their past lives, and gain the wisdom thereof. Martial artists tend to come in the spring to try and learn techniques they mastered in earlier incarnations.” He chuckled. “Of course, even when they do perceive a past life, it’s usually one as a peasant, and all they learn are a few tricks for growing rice or treating sick pigs.”
Naturally, Akane had stopped listening after hearing the words “learn techniques,” and had begun to try and meditate in earnest. Soun had, of course, taught her the basics, but she had always been to impatient to advance beyond them, and Anything Goes was never the most contemplative style there was. However, Akane was now devoting all her energy and concentration to seeking her former selves.
She didn’t change her mantra, though.
“His Magnificence has no time for a squabbling child,” said one of the security guards, dusting his hands.
“Blind fools!” cried the kendo captain. “This is no mere squabble! This concerns the greatest blight our fair country has had ever had the misfortune to bear! Now that the foul sorcerer Saotome has escaped mine watchful eye, his machinations may spread to consume every comely daughter of our land! If that matter is not worthy of imperial attention, I ask thee, what is?”
“One that actually exists,” replied the guard. “Now leave or you will be charged with trespassing.”
Kuno sneered. “Clearly thou hast been ensorcelled by Saotome himself! Have at you!” He charged, bokken held high.
‘According to my mental calculations,’ Shampoo thought in Mandarin, ‘I have scoured over 40% of the the greater Tokyo metropolitan area with no indications as to Airen’s current whereabouts. Perhaps I should consider Great-Grandmother’s suggestion of interrogating the feline population as well.’ Her bicycle passed another wide-eyed commuter on the freeway. She semi-laboriously translated the next sign. ‘Hmm. “Juuban, next exit.” Well, I’ve yet to try there.’ Nodding to herself, Shampoo guided her two-wheeled terror on to the offramp and through the concrete guardrail before impacting the sidewalk below front tire first and very nearly squishing a very surprised cat.
“Good, you’re here.” Ridcully was all grins as he moved to the Librarian’s side and indicated the frozen Ryoga-Luggage complex. “Try and see if you can pull these two apart, will you? There’s a good chap.”
The Librarian did not verbally respond, but analyzed Ryoga’s face. While human faces had taken on a certain similarity since his transformation into an orangutan, this one seemed familiar somehow…
The Librarian grinned, always an impressive sight on an orangutan. He held up his index finger and ooked.
“One condition?” asked the Dean.
“One go?” tried Ridcully.
"On the count of one?” offered the Senior Wrangler.
Ponder Stibbons was among the top five Orangutan-to-Morporkian interpreters in Ankh-Morpork, though he didn’t know it. “One moment,” he said decisively.
The Librarian nodded and left the room.
After a brief pause, Ridcully demanded, “Well?”
Stibbons looked at him, befuddled. “Well what, Sir?”
“What did you want one moment for? You going to say something or not?”
Stibbons sighed. What he wouldn’t give for a nice, relaxing session of rebugging Hex.
Say, there’s an idea…
It was bordering on the ridiculous. No matter the method of concealment, the manner of escape attempt, the level of ninja skills employed, the woman was capable of piercing them all and forcing the transvestite shinobi back in her den. That she was attempting to disrobe him throughout his attempts was not helping things. “Miss,” he said for what felt like the thousandth time, “please, I must leave now. I have important business elsewhere.”
“Not ‘til y’ finish yer tequila,” said the still buzzed Kitsune.
“And the winner for best Naga the White Serpent laugh is Kodachi Kuno, from Nerima! Let’s hear that cackle one more time!”
“OH HO HO HO HO HO!”
The crowd erupted into cheers, though those close to the speakers paused to let the pain in their eardrums pass first.
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(Posted Mon, 29 Oct 2007 03:16)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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