The demon fox was a force of destructive nature, a living storm of chakra that could only release its rage in destruction.
"I will make you suffer for this," said the demon fox.
The cat ever so slowly raised his head to open yellow eyes to gaze upon the fox. "Do you REALLY want to open that can? You really want me to get more serious in Round Two?"
"I wasn't ready the first time," said the fox. "Try me again."
Abruptly the room was replaced with a modern boxing ring, with thousands of black cats in the seats watching.
A black cat wearing a striped shirt pulled a microphone out of nowhere. "Welcome gentlemen, to the rematch of theeeeeeeeee CENTURY!"
"You ARE going to turn me back from being a plush toy, right?" asked the demon fox.
Poof!
"NOW WE'RE TALKING," roared the demon fox.
"In this corner, the challengerrrrrrr," called out the referee-cat. "The Jinchuraki. Jinchurapper. Jin- the Nine Tailed Demon Fox!"
dead silence broken only by a cricket in the background
"And in this corner," said the referee. "The elder god of chaos and mischief, over a hundred billion years old and still going strong, the unintended destroyer of three galaxies and a small section of Japan..."
"I rebuilt those, hardly anybody notices the teenie-tiny little mistakes I made," said yet another black cat as it stepped underneath the ropes to take its place on the other side of the ring.
"Toltiir!" called out the ref.
Predictably, the crowd of black cats in the audience went wild. Except for two old-looking black cats who called out a set of puns too awful to be repeated.
"I'm ready for you now," growled the Beast.
"Pink is definitely your color," said the cat.
Growling something very impolite, the Beast started ripping the ribbons and bows off of its tail.
"Now, what should we set the stakes at for this fight?" mused the cat in the rink. "Obviously what YOU get is that I'm out of your life. Everything goes back to normal. What do I get out of it though?"
"Whatever. I don't care, because I won't lose," said the Beast, lunging forward. "DIE!"
KABAM
"See, this isn't even a good contest," said Toltiir, addressing the Beast flattened underneath an enormous shoe that somehow conveyed the impression of being actually bigger than a solar system. "You're just a little localized pit of destruction. You don't even have an intelligence unless you're contained within someone. Hey, that's an idea. Why don't I give you a makeover?!"
The Demon Fox groaned as best it could with a current thickness of less than a millimeter.
"Foxes are supposed to be mischievous, intelligent, and sneaky," said Toltiir, now with a little scholar's cap and glasses and labcoat. "And these other beasts are basically the same as you. Who came up with this system anyway? At LEAST each beast should have had a different element or power grouping. No, couldn't have anything like that could we. Pfeh. Chakra batteries with an attitude, that's about it. Hmmm. Let's try THIS."
POOF!
Suddenly the Demon Fox was no longer flattened, was calm, and understood Everything. The Universe. The Multiverse. The Metaverse. Quantum Physics, High Energy Particles, and How Many Licks Did It Take To Get To The Center Of A Tootsie-Pop. "whoa."
"No, let's go with a bare 200 IQ or something like that," said Toltiir, making another adjustment.
The Demon Fox shook his head, suddenly being less intelligent but with memories of Understanding still echoing through his head.
"Ah," said Toltiir. "What if we-"
Read the comments on this episode
(Posted Sun, 22 Feb 2009 20:06)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.