Especially when some of his pranks had proven to be rather... bizarre. A less imaginative Naruto might have painted odd slogans on the carved faces of the previous Hokage that dominated the village. Oh no, not Naruto - nothing THAT simple. Putting together a mortar-mud mix that he could use to reshape the faces and THEN painting them?
On the other hand, when it was done - everyone agreed that it WAS a very good likeness of Naruto there at the end and it WAS a very nice gesture of his to put Sasuke's likeness on the far end.
Not that Sasuke Uchiha appreciated it as he felt that it was fairly unflattering. Especially with the pair of panties on his image's head.
Iruka-sensei got his wish, oddly enough. He took a week vacation to a tropical island, met some VERY friendly native girls, and would still get a wistful-distant expression on his face from time to time.
"There goes Sasuke's Uncle again," said one of the old men who hung around the front of the Ninja's Best Burger (motto:so good, you'll make it disappear) having one of their French Vanilla Latte Double Espresso drinks.
"Funny, I don't even remember a Fukayu Genma of the Uchiha family," said the second old man.
"Well, good ninja. Vanishes without a trace, reappears out of nowhere, doesn't leave so much as a footprint behind," said the first - whose name was Statler.
His companion, Waldorf, nodded. "Not disputing his ninja skills. I thought the Uchiha clan was massacreed, except this Genma fellow turns up from some side-branch that nobody wanted to talk about."
"WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!" echoed off the mountains and forest.
"Sounds like Sasuke," noted Waldorf. "Wonder what THAT was about."
"I remember when this was a quiet hidden ninja village," said Statler sadly.
The large man removed his fingers from his ears. He glanced around at the gathering crowd and smiled briefly before turning serious again. "Oh come on. You're the last of the main branch of the Uchiha clan. It's YOUR duty to replenish the clan."
"ENGAGED?!" asked Sasuke Uchiha, age twelve.
"Your brother Itachi wanted the clan killed off, right? What better revenge against him than if you repopulated it?" asked Genma, taking a box of Pocky out of his sleeve and flipping it through the air so that one fell out to be caught between his teeth while the rest just disappeared into his other sleeve.
"How about hunting him down and killing him?" asked Sasuke, sounding weak.
"No, that'll never do," said Genma, waggling his Pocky stick out of the corner of his mouth. "That'll just turn you into an anal vengeance-obsessed martial artist type. Terrible tragic story and all that. Oh, and what's this I hear about you stealing girls' underwear?"
"WHAT?! NO!" Sasuke immediately began losing any remaining cool he might have accumulated in order to wave his hands around in denial. Especially as he noticed the gathering crowd and the occasional muttering. Maybe he should've waited until they were alone before reacting to this latest bombshell?
"I approve, of course," said Genma. "Good avoidance and stealth training. Avoiding the repercussions - also good martial arts training."
"I didn't do it!" stated Sasuke emphatically.
"Of course you didn't," said Genma with a theatrical wink.
"ARGHHH!" said Sasuke, dropping towards the ground. He stopped his fall with one arm, pivoting it out into a legsweep.
Genma vanished at the moment of connection, reappearing halfway across the plaza. "Better. Yup. As the legal age representitive of your clan though, I'm afraid I've got to take matters into my own hands. Any particular girl you fancy? What about that Yamanaka girl?"
One of the girls in the crowd brightened visibly.
"NO! NEVER!" said Sasuke, leaping into another attack which caused Genma to vanish again and reappear elsewhere.
One of the girls in the crowd sagged, a little cloud forming over her head.
"What about that Sakura girl? I hear she gets excellent scores on her tests," said Genma, consulting a large book.
Another of the little girls in the crowd brightened.
"That humongous forehead of hers must conceal a pretty sharp brain," said Genma, "and she isn't as butch as that Yamanaka girl."
The sagging girl collapsed to her knees while the second girl flinched.
"NEVER! I'D RATHER DIE AVENGING MYSELF AGAINST MY BROTHER!" declared Sasuke sending a flurry of attacks that the portly Uncle dodged.
The pink haired girl with the high forehead simply turned the color of ash and sagged next to her friend/rival.
"Tenten?" "NO!"
"Anko?" "NO!"
"Tsunade?" "who? NEVERMIND! NO!"
"Temari?" "I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!"
"Yuhi?" "NO WAY!"
Uncle Genma clicked the book shut. "So, you mean you're gay?"
"AIEEEEEE!" said several young girls in the crowd, falling over.
"WHAT?! NO!" said Sasuke.
"That would explain a few things," said Genma thoughtfully. "I had my suspicions about Itachi after all. That would explain why he's been wearing nail polish."
"Erk," said Sasuke.
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(Posted Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:00)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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