Kyuubi was powerful. Kyuubi was destruction incarnate, feared by all mortals. Able to wipe out whole villages at its slightest whim. Kyuubi was also currently sulking at a table staring grumpily down at the fruity drink giving off pink smoke and wondered for the fifth time what a ‘Horny Chiyo-Chan Iguana’ was and how in the hell a being with no opposable thumbs could mix it.
For that matter Kyuubi also wondered how the being had changed its cage into a bar named ‘Toltiirs Tavern franchise #2’, with Kyuubi stuck in the ‘petting zoo’ section…
Kyuubi had stopped trying to figure out how said cat that wasn’t even a 1/100th of its size kept beating her magnificent self up in humiliating ways… as that inevitably lead the primal engine of destruction towards the idea that past times had been a fluke and to challenge the small cat being again. 10 times in a row was enough for this Bijuu… especially since the last time had ended with her being hit by a Eikenification-ray…. Thank the sage of the six paths it was set only on temporary…
Kyuubi shuddered and tried to repress that memory quickly, inadvertently glancing up at her roommate.
“Let’s see could throw him into Rifts… that’s being done over on another thread…. Maybe.. no.. to boring… weak… lame…. ARRRGHH! I hate Mischief block!” Toltiir rumbled and stomped over to his favorite table, which conveniently allowed Kyuubi to look over its shoulder
“Well when in doubt stea…. I mean draw inspiration from other authors works… let’s see what we’ve got…”
Kyuubi blinked there wasn’t a computer there a second ago, she was sure of it. Idly she muttered out loud some of the windows she saw open on the screen… “TFF… Anime Addventure… BEA adventure… Wizard of the coast box of grim dark universe changes of suckiness inspired genius…”
“Whoops! Didn’t mean that one… I swear that group is more of a headache each year… I mean look at what they did to poor Elistree-chan??” Toltiir murmured before quickly closing the last window…
“Just what are you doing you insufferable pest?” Kyuubi Growled
“Hmm? Oh nothing just looking for some inspiration for my next changes here… got to keep things fresh… I mean I could just go with some classic Addventure ideas we stuck Ranma with… Have Naruto find Mihoshi’s lamp, or end up a summoning some pokegirls… ooh magical prince Naruto could work to… have Kushina descendent of a magical emperor.. Definitely need to put that down in the 5 options…”
“Options? And only 5?” Kyuubi asked in confusion.
“I could explain it foxy kun… but that would mean explaining the format and breaking the fourth wall a lot, which in turn leads down the path of the Mugyuu and you a pyromaniac loli…. Which can be fun I suppose but Daneel is doing it much better….”
Now Kyuubi was even more confused, idly wondering why something called the ‘fire song’ just popped into her head as well….
“See! And that is just hinting at things beyond your ken! Anyway like I said I could take some examples from old threads here to give me inspiration.. or even characters, poor Tarre seems to be making a popular comeback… but should she be the pet, little sister, love interest, or Mentor???”
Toltiir shrugged and then began typing on the computer again quickly, using his paws in a manner that boggled Kyuubi’s mind as the screen shifted over to the TFF and quickly brought up the thread list of one author…
“Rift120?”
“Well his ideas are free to anyone who wants them, he freely says so... so I don’t have to worry about getting permission, not to mention the oddball ideas he has… plus he is writing this episode and can use the chance to feed his ego…. Whoops! There’s that fourth wall again…”
Kyuubi shuddered and wondered who the hell Mayuri was and why she wanted to set her on fire so badly….
“Anyway like I said he has some oddball ideas… like replacing you with Gork or Mork… or having a butler of the Uzamaki clan show up in Konoha to serve the last member of the household…”
“Oh a ninja butler?”
“Nah more western style… either kick ass like Walter or Alfred from Big O… of course one could also do a more comedic version like Jenkins from a Pup-named Scooby doo…. Well maybe for the fifth option if nothing more fun pops up…” Toltier jotted it down in the maybe pile…
Kyuubi looked at the list herself and asked “what’s Disgaea? Seems the nutcase has a bunch of options there…”
“Good call! You get a kyuubi snack!” Toltier tossed a small biscuit into the petting Zoo… trying not to look to amused when the giant rampaging Bijuu snapped it up and then rocketed into the air before gently floating back down…. “Oh my... Kyuubi mecha… Snow clan…. Offspring… by Bast! It’s enough for a fatesplit! A definite check…”
“Let’s see… ADC? Well why not… Wait Hinata being put under Anbu protection after the kidnapping incident and a ADC member tries to cheer her up…. PERFECT! ….oh Demonhawk is a Hinata fanboy… I mean look at this… Hinata merged with you, oh here’s one where Hinata ends up getting Orochimaru’s knowledge but not his mental personality and leads to mad scientist Hinata…. Oh and over here.. argh.. Too many to choose from, I’ll have to make it another fate split!”
Toltiir cackled as 4 options appeared over his head. “Just one more… now which to choose… ooh could go with having you male and betrothed to someone... of course being sealed up in Naruto Kun would mean that your fiancée would go to him… that could be fun.. nah. Two Fatesplits is probably pushing the authors luck. Besides the disgaea options have a couple of Fiancée branches anyway….”
Toltiir frowned and read on before stopping. “Let’s see Naruto and other Genin run into a Dungeons and Dragons rollercoaster at a Konoha fair… or maybe this one where Naruto is the re-incarnation of a boy named Preston who’s life tragically is cut short before he could discover he was the reincarnation of a pharaoh… yeah that will do… that’s five…. What do you think Kyu-chan?”
Kyuubi blinked and leaned back as suddenly she was snout to face with the small cat that scared the crap out of she had learned to respect, looking over the five choices before finally pointing to…
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(Posted Sat, 01 May 2010 12:26)
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