The morning had been odd. Distinctly odd.
Kasumi yawned as the 'breakfast battle' between father and son took place nearby."Are you feeling okay, Kasumi?" asked Akane.
Kasumi looked tired but she smiled. "Oh. I feel great, Akane. I think I just need a little more sleep."
"Well, best you get over that cold," suggested Akane.
"Hmmm?" asked Kasumi, looking across the table at Ranma.
Nabiki mumbled something unintelligible into her breakfast.
"Wow, Nabiki, it looks like you didn't get any sleep at all," commented Akane. Nabiki looking worse than usual in the morning was odd.
"Gee," said Nabiki, "thanks."
That hadn't been half so weird as what happened when they'd arrived at school.
Everyone was still talking about that. Well, everyone except Kuno. Akane couldn't help but smile when she remembered it. Well, maybe sometimes weird could be good.
"Foul sorcerer, at last I have the means to break the spell you have woven about the pigtailed girl and the fair Akane Tendo," said Kuno, stepping out from behind the tree."Uh huh, right," said Ranma, not even taking his hands out of his pockets.
"Behold!" said Kuno, pulling out a bokuto. "Upon this is written a haiku to win the love of mine destined brides!"
"Riiiiiight," said Ranma. "Hey, Kuno. I've worked out a new martial arts special technique. Mind if I try it out on you?"
"You jest, sorcerer, for today is the day of my greatest triumph," replied Kuno.
"It may be a bit much for you," mused Ranma aloud as if he were just considering it.
"Bring on your worst, Saotome," said Kuno. "I shall triumph this day!"
"Oh, well, since you asked for it," said Ranma, closing his eyes and drawing a deep breath.
"An opening!" seized Kuno, striking out with his weapon.
"Ahhhh-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-AH-TAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" went Ranma.
Kuno picked himself up from where he'd been thrown. He shook his head and felt his throat briefly, then straightened. "Your foul sorceries shall not... my voice? what hath thee done?!"
"I modified the Retsu Ka Hyakaru Ken," said Ranma. "The attack constricts but does not close the victim's airways and alters the voicebox like breathin' helium would do. I call it the Hokuto Squeak Of The Chipmunk Attack."
"How dare you, you vile fiend!" squeaked Kuno, sounding an awful lot like some cartoon chipmunk or something.
Akane covered her mouth, shaking.
"See, the fair Akane doth shed tears for my plight," said Kuno.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" erupted Akane as Kuno's normal ranting was suddenly transformed into something more comedic than annoying.
"Nay, Akane, do not weep for me," tried Kuno.
As if Akane's struggles to stop laughing were not enough, it was now spreading as every grand gesture and declaration on the part of Tatewaki Kuno was being delivered in a voice more appropriate to a cartoon mouse.
"A samurai doth... why am I so out of breath?" asked Kuno, gasping.
"Well, that was another effect," said Ranma with a shrug. "Because your windpipe's been constricted - ya can't exercise much without havin' to stop and breathe."
"Sayeth what?" asked Kuno.
Ranma got serious looking, and pointed at Kuno. "It is the perfect end for you, Kuno."
"Sayeth what?" asked Kuno.
Akane wondered about that. Ranma had learned a new pressure point technique? Did that mean he'd been over at the Nekohanten?
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(Posted Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:58)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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