Ranma bit on the end of the pen as he listened to Toltiir think. "Now, let's see here. I need this to be from someone that wouldn't arose any suspicion in his parents. The basic story is easy enough, but the presentation is key. Pranks are ninety percent presentation, remember that Ranma-Me-Boy."
Ranma nodded his head before turning his attention back to the stuff littering the ground around him. Off to one side was a fat envelope that Toltiir somehow made. Ranma wasn't sure how as all he remembered of that period of time during which Toltiir crafted it was bright, hazy lights and the sound of cosmic laughter. Ranma looked to the story Toltiir had him pen. It was about a great samurai betrayed by his students and how his spirit lingered trapped in a cave waiting for a hero to set him free. The story promised that the hero who rescued the abandoned samurai would be rewarded greatly. Ranma couldn't help but dream of conducting such heroics and what kind of reward he might get.
"You wound me," Toltiir suddenly commented to Ranma. "I am no longer enough for you that you are eager to go off and learn from another?"
Ranma, without realizing that Toltiir wasn't serious, was afraid he hurt his friend's feeling. "No, no, no. I just feel bad for this samurai, betrayed and trapped for centuries."
Toltiir chuckled. "Do not worry, Me-Boy. We'll send this letter off to someone who can help. Meanwhile, I have better plans for you." Toltiir then had Ranma place the letter into an envelope and address it to Tatewaki Kuno.
"Isn't that the drip from the park?" Ranma asked, upset that the annoying boy was being asked to be a hero.
"Fear not, Ranma. You'll find this to be quite interesting indeed in the end." Toltiir then simply decided to give the envelope no return address but instead cast a glamour on it to make people pay it no more attention then necessary to get it delivered and to not think too much about it at all. The letter was quite detailed in where to find the cave, even including a map.
Toltiir surveyed his handiwork. A letter to Kuno, to lay the groundwork, and a package to his father. The package was the masterstroke of his plan. It was a falsified winning granting the Kuno patriarch a free vacation. The package contained train tickets and everything else necessary along with a brochure hyping the vacation and the idyllic country cabin which the family would spend a week in. That there was no cabin, but instead a cave covered in spirit wards, at the location marked on a map in the brochure was known only to Toltiir; until the family arrives there, that is.
The plan was simple, the package would be glamoured to lie unnoticed at the post office for a few days to allow for the letter to arrive first. Tatewaki would read the pulp fiction style account of Happosai and become obsessed with being the one to free him. Then, the family would find itself a winner of some sweepstakes, which they wouldn't question. Especially since the package contains everything already. All they need to do is show up. And show up they will, at Happosai's subterranean prison. The young Kuno would immediately recognize what the place holds, and with reckless abandon start to remove the spirit wards and dig in the dirt. With the spirit wards gone and the presence of the Kuno matriarch just outside the cave, Happosai would be able to free himself. And perhaps, with little Kuno asking so sweetly about a reward and wanting to be as great a fighter as Happosai, perhaps this little prank could reap dividends of chaos.
Chuckling some more, Toltiir directed Ranma to a mailbox to send off the items. "A better use for your father's paper, envelopes, and stamps I can not think of. Okay, for our next lesson, I shall teach you voice acting. Did you know that women are commonly used as voices for little boys in anime? Well, don't you think that means little boys can do voices that sound like ladies, then? Shall we find out? All we need is a pay phone, the coins we found in Genma's backpack, and a list of numbers I want you to call."
Ranma nodded and giggled. Prank calls sounded exciting to him. A few minutes later found Ranma standing on a wooden crate turned on end shoveling coins into the coin-slot of a pay phone.
"Remember what I taught you. Not too husky, and remember to speak with the feminine grammar particles, and not masculine. Think about how shy people talk and try to sound a little unsure. Let your voice waver and crack. Talk a little fast too, like you might be embarrassed, and softly as well." Toltiir coached Ranma into sounding like a convincing young woman.
"Yeah, yeah. What does it mean when I say-" Ranma was curious what some of the words Toltiir wanted him to say meant.
Toltiir cut him off. "Don't you worry about that. You'll find out when you're old enough."
Ranma nodded, used to that reply from his father. "It's ringing, it's ringing," Ranma chanted excitedly.
Toltiir sighed. "The voice, remember to stay in voice. Also, remember you will be leaving a message on a machine. It is too late for offices to be open. As long as you leave all the info - Oops, you're on!"
Ranma spoke into the handset of the phone, trying to remember all that Toltiir had him practice moments before. After his fifth or sixth call, he was getting his impression right on. With a bit more than a half-hour's worth of work, Ranma and Toltiir left messages on the machines, or with late working salary-men, of about twenty publications. The last number was picked up by one such weary and overworked salary-man.
"Hello," Ranma spoke to the guy, his voice soft and cracking, "is this where I call to leave an ... uh ... ad for to find-"
The man on the other end of the line, though tired and eager to get home to bed, took pity on the woman who was obviously calling for her first time. "Yes, this is the number to leave a personal ad in the Greater Tokyo Lonely Housewife Registry section of the Photo Samurai periodical for men." Left unsaid was that this was a pornographic girlie magazine and that many women looking to discreetly hook up with strangers left ads in the magazine.
"Oh ... good. How do I - I mean - I want to leave a ..." Ranma was very convincing in his performance, having had plenty of practice calling the other periodicals, some of which were more shady than the others.
The salary-man grew a bit impatient, and as the process was pretty much standardized, took over. "Well first miss ... what should I call you?"
"Setsuna Meioh."
"OK, Miss Setsuna, first describe yourself and what you are looking for. I'll need a contact number and a credit card number to bill. And that is pretty much it. So ... tell me about yourself, what color is your hair, how tall are you, how heavy are you, any measurements you think guys will want to know, that kind of stuff..."
And with roughly a half-hour's worth of phone use, Toltiir managed to get Setsuna Meioh personal ads in a number of publications: some were national, most were Tokyo based, some were upstanding papers - those ads portrayed her as lonely and even desperate in some cases, while others were more seedy - and some of these ads added the idea that she was a nymphomaniac interested in only sex, and a couple were dedicated to dating and helping singles find people to date. He also managed to have them all charged to her credit card. By the time Setsuna got her credit card bill, there would already have been a couple weeks worth of men calling her at home, at work, and even showing up at those places.
Ranma was slinking into some shadows when he felt the hair on his neck rise. "My Toltiir-Sense is tingling."
Toltiir took a quick scan. "Genma is a couple blocks away and approaching fast. Time to make a detour, but this gives me ideas."
Nodoka Saotome was walking home late. She was late in returning from a meeting of the Neighborhood Association, a group of mostly old biddies who gossip about the going ons around town working under the exterior motive of keeping their neighborhood clean, decent, and looking good. What should of been a quick meeting to discuss whether Mr. Yamimoto's expansion of his flower garden was in violation of the Neighborhood Association's bylaw number eighty-seven dash five, or if he was exempt as a due paying member of the Association as granted in bylaw number one-hundred thirty-two dash seven, had become quickly bogged down in name calling and gossiping. Anything that could go wrong to hold up the meeting did; including old widow Tanaka insisting everyone try her awful bean paste sweet buns and the honorable Mr. Kiayama faking a heart attack, again.
With a sigh of relief and a breath of fresh air, she was glad to finally be on her way home where she could take a pill for her growing headache. Her home, a thing of ambivalent value. It was the lonely place that drove her to join the Association in order to just get out and be with people, but it was also the place that drove her to join the Association, and all its terribly stressing going ons. Nodoka would often think that a young lady, such as herself, had no real business spending time with the old and bitter. And even though her home was empty of the husband and son she missed and longed to be with again, it was also the only place she felt comfortable and secure, in that it was indeed her home and it was where she felt she belonged the most.
Walking along, head throbbing, wishing she could reclaim the wasted hours of her life that she just spent under the guise of discussing a frivolous crime that not only didn't get resolved, but that everyone would promptly forget about and move on until Old Widow Fujihashi grew jealous again that Mr. Yamimoto's garden was better than hers, it was unsurprising that she was unaware of her surroundings until a young boy rudely pushed by her. Falling onto her backside, upset at the audacity of the little brat, she was shocked to see the young hooligan harass a yatai owner. The boy tripped the man before he scooped up a handful of skewers of grilled meat and ran off without paying for them.
"The nerve of some kids. Why in my day, if a child were to act like that, the parents would have committed sepuku. I wonder who the parents of that brat are, they'd hear an earful from me if I knew." Nodoka was still silently fuming to herself as she watch the kid hit the corner and start to turn to the right, only to suddenly whip around to the left, running. A portly man in a dirty gi suddenly appeared from the right, chasing after the boy.
The boy laughed gaily, like it was a game. "Here's the food you wanted, Papa," he stated in a loud voice as he tossed the skewers towards the portly man.
At the same time, the man shouted, "Come back here, Ranma!" However, he did catch the skewers from the air and ate from them without slowing his run down. That was when the two disappeared from the intersection, blocked by sight by the buildings to the left of the street.
The man was focused on the little running boy and did not notice who was on the cross-street, however Nodoka noticed the man. It took her a moment to register what exactly she saw. "Genma!" She exclaimed out loud to herself. It suddenly clicked in her head that the little boy who ran by was her son Ranma, and her husband had just passed by. Quickly running to the corner, she did not see them anymore. Heading to the left at a run, she still couldn't find any sight of them.
"I'll just wait for them at home," she thought to herself. "Certainly, Genma came back to visit me. And I got quite a few words for him on how he's raising our son." Without any further hesitations, she made haste for her home, anticipating and anxiously looking forward to seeing her son again.
Ranma paused to catch his breath, having had managed to avoid and lose Genma. "Very good," the elder god of mischief mentioned to him in his head, "remember that technique the next time you want to get away from someone." Ranma nodded, too winded to speak.
After recovering some energy, Ranma moved on, eager to place some distance between him and Genma as Toltiir had advised. He clung to the top of a city bus, switched to the top of a passing truck, gotten down at a traffic light to make his way to a train station, and hid on top of a train to make his way to another part of Tokyo. Now, he was watching the sights as he walked, Toltiir giving him a partially guided tour.
"Over on your left is crossroads elementary, a rather normal and boring school. Up ahead, if you turn right at the light, I'll show you the way to the Crown Royal Arcade."
Ranma wasn't terribly interested in most of the places Toltiir pointed out, but the arcade sounded like fun. However, upon arrival, Ranma was a bit let down. "And where this apothecary now stands will be the Crown Royal Arcade, opening in about five year's time."
But there was one intriguing occurance on the tour. Ranma was passing a mailbox when Toltiir pointed it out. "Hey Ranma, mail this envelope for me."
Ranma was confused. "What envelope?" Then he found a large manilla envelope in his hands. "Another one? Aren't we done with that joke?"
Toltiir snickered. "This is a completely different prank. Its still open if you want to look in, I'll need you to lick it shut for me. Bleh, I hate the taste of cheap envelope glue."
Ranma did look in. Inside were photos of a young blonde girl in all kinds of cutesy poses. Ranma couldn't read the manuscript, as Genma hadn't taught him how to read yet and he only knew his name and some simple words. He only knew what Toltiir would read for him, and could only write when Toltiir would write for him.
"What's this? Who are we sending it to?" Ranma was very curious.
Ranma could feel that Toltiir felt pleased with himself. "This? Oh, this is something were sending to Supaa Kawaii Doll. It is an article I am submitting in hopes they'll publish it, and they will."
Ranma hadn't heard of this magazine. "Supaa Kawaii Doll? What's that?"
"Well, it is a magazine for aggressively pedophilic butch lesbians and manhaters."
"Peter-phallus beings and man-eaters?" Unfortunately, Ranma was too young to really understand what Toltiir was saying or the point of his joke.
"Close enough, Ranma-Me-Boy. Now how about putting everything back and licking the envelope flap. I know how much you like getting to lick the envelope."
Ranma nodded and did as he was asked to, but he was still curious. "Who's the girl?"
"That is Haruka Tenoh. Isn't she a little cutey? Well, the article I wrote should make lots of others thinks so too. Its the kind of article they always enjoy printing, introducing the cutest little dolls for all to meet. Why, I might pen follow up articles every year or two and include pictures for all to see how she is growing."
"Where'd ya' get the pictures?" Ranma was sharp, just uneducated.
"Why, where I get all of my fun toys. You'll find there isn't much I can't do, in fact there is nothing I can't do, just things I choose not to do. After all, if it isn't fun to do, why do it? ... That's it, now that the envelope is all sealed just reach up and drop it into the box. And off we go to our next stop. Down the street and towards the left..."
"Say Ranma, want to go find your dad?" Toltiir's voice betrayed nothing of his intent.
"Do we gotta?" Ranma was sitting outside of a pachinko parlor munching on some snacks a kind passerby bought for him. All the bright lights and loud noises of the games caught Ranma's interest.
"Well, I was thinking of giving him a present."
"A present?" Ranma's curiosity was piqued. "What kind of present?"
"Well," Toltiir drawled out slowly, "see them police officers over yonder?"
A wicked grin grew on Ranma's lips at the same time as one grew on Toltiir's.
Officer Kinoshita and her partner, Officer Uchishiba, were walking their usual beat and approached a pachinko parlor along the route.
"Quiet night," Kinoshita commented. She was a pretty Japanese woman, young and petite.
Uchishiba grunted in reply. He was a muscular, serious looking tough who seemed to have no sense of humor.
"I like quiet nights, I hope it stays like this."
Another grunt in reply.
"How did that date go for you, the one with - Ouch!" Kinoshita hopped on one foot, rubbing her other shin where some young kid had kicked her.
Ranma kicked her other shin.
"Hey, stop that kid." Kinoshita made to grab Ranma, but he slipped away from her.
"What's your problem, punk," Uchishiba growled from where he stood with his right hand on his Tonfa.
Ranma picked his nose and flicked it in their general direction. "Pops said all dirty pigs are a worthless waste of taxpayer money, and they ought to be spat upon whenever someone sees one."
"Is that so?" Uchishiba's eyes narrowed in disgust.
"Yeah! My pops can beat all of you up. He said so. When I tell him a couple of pigs tried to scare me, he'll beat you up real good."
Kinoshita didn't feel like arresting such a young kid, but she didn't mind meeting his father. Brushing herself off, she noticed her tonfa was missing.
"Looking for this?" Ranma was spinning the purloined billy club in his hand.
"Could you please give me that back," Kinoshita asked gently and cutely.
"Sure," Ranma agreed. He then threw it at Kinoshita's head where it bounced off.
"Owwie," she complained as she rubbed her head.
"Why you little," Uchishiba yelled as he lunged to grab Ranma, only to fall face first onto the ground with Ranma standing on his head.
"Haha," Ranma laughed, "You're much too slow. Can't catch me!" Ranma took off down the street with the two metropolitan cops chasing after.
Genma was still looking for Ranma, having picked up his trail again. "Worthless boy, he better not think I'll go easy on him tomorrow just because he didn't get any sleep tonight."
Around the corner and up a couple blocks, two officers of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department were huffing out of breath as they tried to chase down one little boy.
"I don't know what's worse," Kinoshita wheezed, "not being able to catch a little boy, or the fact he stops every few blocks to taunt us and wait for use to catch up to him."
Uchishiba, red in the face from exertion, nodded his head silently. "Must not be a very smart little boy, but I think we better call for backup." Uchishiba nodded towards a police call box on a nearby corner.
Back with Genma, he was carefully searching for Ranma in a dark alley behind a sake shop. He had noticed a window slightly ajar and thought that maybe he might find Ranma inside, or sake, either being equally good. He was halfway into the window when a rock bounced off his backside.
"Hey, Pops," Ranma called out, "there you are. I found some people who claim the Saotome School is donkey dung and that their kung fu is stronger then your kung fu."
"What was that?" Genma was still halfway through a window, but he did notice a supply shelf to his left full of boxes of sake. He only need to reach out and he'd have both sake and Ranma. Quickly, he snagged a box and slipped out of the window. Of course, that was when the officers turned the corner into the alley way.
"There they are, Pops," Ranma exclaimed excitedly as he pointed to the two cops, "they said they wanna beat you up." Genma noticed the cops Ranma was pointing to.
"Hey. Stop. Thief!" Kinoshita yelled from where she stood.
"That's the boy's father? Oh, I am going to enjoy this." Uchishiba was in a poor mood after being made to run so much.
"Ranma, run!" Genma yelled as he dropped the box of sake, turned tail, and ran, but Ranma was already yards ahead of him.
Officer Masae Tanimoto looked over to her partner, Officer Ota, who was stuffing her face with doughnuts and coffee.
"Those foreign snacks will be the death of you. Are you sure you don't want something from my lunch-box?"
Ota shook her head in the negative. "You don't know what you're missing. Here try one of these jelly doughnuts."
Tanimoto made a disgusted expression as she shrank away from the offered confection.
"Quiet night ... for us." The two policewomen were well aware, from communications over the radio, of a growing pursuit.
Ota shrugged. "Sounds like it is heading in our general vicinity. We might see some of the action yet."
Whatever Tanimoto may have been thinking to say was cut off by a sudden thump on the roof of the squad car. Suddenly, a small boy landed on the hood of the car facing the windshield. His thumbs were in his ears as he waved his fingers and stuck his tongue out. He then pulled one eye down, with his tongue still out. Finally, he turned around, mooned the cops, then ran off into the night.
"That was the perp everyone is chasing, well one of them. After him," Ota yelled to her partner.
"I'm on it." Tanimoto turned the ignition and gunned the engine.
Ota suddenly panicked. "You forgot the lights and sirens ag-" She was interrupted by another squad car crashing into them as they rocketed into the intersection.
Officer Toukairin looked over from the driver seat of his smashed squad car; Masae waved back at him sheepishly.
Ranma paused near a street light, making sure his entourage was still behind him. A growing collection of police officers was trailing behind a sweating Genma Saotome, who was chasing after Ranma while the police was chasing them both.
Toltiir gauged the distances and took note of his surroundings. He had Ranma approach a street musician that was standing near the corner.
"You take requests?" Ranma asked the busker as he dropped some yen into the man's saxophone case.
"Sure thing, little man."
Ranma smiled cutely up at the musician. "Do you know Yakety Sax?"
"Do I?" The musician straightened up, tugged at imaginary lapels, and affixed the most serious expression to his face that he could muster. "Do I ever. Little man, you are looking at the best Yakety Sax player this side of the Sumida and that side of the Arakawa. Now listen as I lay some bars down, you dig?"
Grinning in delight, Ranma listened to the first few bars before having to lead the chase on once again. As Genma approached, Ranma waved gaily then crossed the street and entered a house, with Genma and the cops in hot pursuit. Which is how the Yakuza owned brothel found itself being turned inside out by Genma looking for Ranma and being turned upside down by the police looking for them both.
"Oh yes, that feels so - " The prostitute did not get to finish her encouragement, faked as it was, as the door was suddenly slammed open by a somewhat large, portly man in a dirty gi.
"Ranma, you in here?" Genma stuck his head under the bed, looking for Ranma.
"Now see here, I paid for my full half hour. You'll just have to wait for your turn," the repressed salary-man protested.
Genma ignored him while he was going through the closet, indiscriminately throwing the clothing over his shoulders.
"Hey! Stay out of my stuff, you creep." The prostitute was angered by Genma's action, and was considering the best way to show it.
Meanwhile, the cops were having less luck finding a small child in a big brothel, or his rather large and hard to hide father.
"You know what we have here, inspector?" a rookie excitedly brown nosed to his superior.
Inspector Tokuno looked up from his note pad, where he was jotting some notes. "No, what do we have here?"
"It's a brothel. The father must be part of it. We can add either patronizing a prostitute or being a pimp to his list of crimes, as well as contributing to the delinquency of a minor."
The inspector rubbed his chin. "Good job, Tsuji. Make it pimping, it carries tougher penalties."
Ranma was lounging in the currently empty office, and leather chair, of the boss, as everyone who worked there was either trying to deal with the sudden 'police raid' or high tailing it out of there.
He was also using the phone as he leaned back in the chair, his feet on the desk. "Yes, make it fifteen beef bowls, twenty-five eggrolls, five large bentos of rice, and one liter of teriyaki chicken. ... Yes, I'd like to pay by credit card, the name is-"
Meanwhile, the surveillance monitors in the room showed an unlucky flatfoot coming across Genma, who became spooked and ran for it, right over the flatfoot. Barely dressed women were running around, cops were trying to arrest all they could as more police arrived to back up the first group. Half-dressed salary-men were either struggling to get their pants up or trying to climb out of a nearby window.
"What we doing?" Ranma asked Toltiir some time later. They had finished their phone calls and had moved on to pocketing some found cash. Otherwise, the stopover at the brothel wasn't really corrupting Ranma as he was too young to understand and just thought it was a very big house, anyways.
"Just leaving an I.O.U. If you borrow money, you should always leave an I.O.U." What Toltiir didn't mention was that, after having Ranma grab all of the cash the Yakuza had lying around, for anyone to take, right there in that safe, behind the painting, with the poison gas trap, he had Ranma sign Happosai's name to the I.O.U. "Time to go, Ranma. Can't get caught now, we are the masters of tag, right?"
"Yeppers," Ranma cheered before opening a window and leaping out.
Genma slunk among the shadows. His eyes hurt from where that one girl beated him over the head with her purse; She kept rocks in it, in case she was ever assaulted by thugs. His eyes were already turning dark, like a raccoon or, in a certain light, more like a panda, considering his other facial bruises. His whole head hurt. Also, the cops were looking for him. He didn't think any of them got a very good look at him. He just needed to get Ranma, get out of Tokyo, and lay low for awhile. The police were bound to forget all about him in five to ten years; he knew this from past experiences with Happosai. His nose caught the delicious aroma of some food, and his stomach growled in agreement. Slowly, ever so slowly, he slid along the wall, following his nose.
Suddenly his chin met the ground. "Wha'cha doing, Pop?" Ranma asked from where he was standing on Genma's head.
Genma groaned. 'There's no way a boy as small as him could flatten me,' he thought to himself. He wasn't sure if he should be angry or proud.
"Come on Ranma, time to go," Genma was more than ready to just leave Tokyo and its many police officers behind.
"Okie-dokie, let's go this-a-way." Ranma ran off before Genma could get ahold of him.
"Ranma, come back." Genma took off, forgetting to be stealthy.
Within a couple blocks, some police officers saw him run by chasing Ranma. "Hey, doesn't that man running after the boy fit the description of the wanted suspect in a robbery and prostitution ring?"
"I say, I think you are correct, old chap."
The first officer rolled his eyes and sighed. "You're not British, Otoha. Stop reading those Sherlock Holmes novels, they're warping your mind."
"I say, old bean, the game's afoot. Shall I call it in on the telly?"
"Whatever, go ahead."
Genma was getting closer; 'Ranma must be tiring,' he thought to himself. With a dive, he tried to tackle Ranma, but came up empty. Looking around, he thought he saw Ranma slip over a nearby wall. With a quick bound, Genma was over the wall. A troop of police, alerted by the earlier sighting, was right behind him and saw him go over.
Meanwhile, Ranma was sitting up in a tree, resting and watching everyone. "Why did Pops go in there?"
Toltiir smirked, not that anyone could see. "He must of thought he saw you in there." After all, it wasn't like Ranma knew how to make shadow clones. Toltiir chuckled. "Ranma, remind me to show you something called 'Splitting Cat-Hairs', it's even better than shadow clones."
"Okie-dokie." Ranma was a pretty easy going kid.
The police charged around the corner with the wall, looking for a gate, while some of the more spry officers tried to scale the wall. The first group was held up at the gates by some guards.
"Oh dear," one policewoman exclaimed with her hands to her lips, "he's broken into the Imperial Palace. Quick, we must protect the Emperor." The other cops raised a roaring cheer. Inspector Tokuno quickly explained to the guards why they were there and the group of police and some of the guards stormed into the palace.
Bored, Ranma slipped out of the tree. "I'm hungry," he sniffled.
"Yes, you didn't get to eat much at dinner. It was nice of Mrs. Tendo to slip us some food afterwards."
"Let's go eat," Ranma enthused.
"Oh, I think you got an idea where."
Ranma nodded. "Yeppers. Where we had those fifteen delivery orders go to."
"The ones we charged to Setsuna Meioh's card?"
Ranma nodded, "Which way?"
"Let's go catch a train." Toltiir pointed Ranma the way.
Usagi Tsukino sat quietly next to the garbage can. She didn't understand why her father was so mad. All this delicious food came to the house, and food was for eating. He grumbled something about getting ahold of a Setsu-something. Usagi wondered if a Setsu-something tasted good. She was upset, her father wouldn't let her try any of the food, saying they already ate dinner and didn't need any more. But the food smelled so good, and there was so many of her favorites, too. Well, she snuck out of her room and she snuck outside. All this food was calling her, and she couldn't sleep with them calling her so.
Standing on tip-toes and stretching her arms up, she tried to carefully take the lid off the can, but was as clutzy as ever; she made a lot of noise and then dropped the lid with a clang. Afraid she was caught she looked around, but she didn't see her father. Grabbing one of the cartons of food, she sat down, opened it, and started to eat with her hands, stuffing her face.
"Hello," a small boy said to her.
"Mremph-lo," she greeted with her mouth full.
Ranma grabbed another carton of food and plopped down besides her. "My name is Ranma," he introduced himself before stuffing his face.
"Ahm Mwu-" Usagi swallowed. "I'm Usagi. Pleased to meet you."
The two soon bonded over the shared joys of eating one's body weight in food.
"A-ha!" Genma exclaimed as he grabbed hold of Ranma's collar. "Got you now. Ranma, you disappoint me, what did I ever do to deserve such a worthless son?"
"You want that alphabetically, chronologically, or in order of importance?" Toltiir couldn't help responding to that question with Ranma's voice.
Genma looked at Ranma in confusion. "Come on, you wasted enough time as it is. It is time we moved on, and I know the perfect place to go next."
Genma added to himself, 'Soun was right, a nice temple far from any distractions is just what Ranma needs.'
Usagi kicked Genma in the shin. "You let him go, you big meanie."
Genma knocked her aside, put Ranma under one arm, grabbed the trash can full of fresh food with the other, and ran off.
"Whaaa!" Usagi cried. "Come back with my food and my boyfriend!" When Genma disappeared in the darkness down the street, she got more distraught. Running inside, Usagi cried for her father. "Daddy! A fat panda-man with piggy eyes stole my boyfriend!"
Her father's voice roared from the house. "WHAT BOYFRIEND?"
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See other episodes by Errol Peregrinus
(Posted Sat, 20 Sep 2008 18:21)
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