Genma was worried. Something was wrong with Ranma, he hadn’t been the same since the catfist incident a couple weeks prior. Oh to be sure, the Art called for sacrifices, but there was something quite wrong with Ranma. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but his instincts gave him a sense of unease. Ranma was becoming harder to control and more troublesome. He seemed to know things and techniques he shouldn’t. And worse of all were the cats. Sometimes, he could swear that the cats seem to know what Ranma wanted of them. Was that the secret of the dreaded catfist? Try as he might, Genma couldn’t figure out what was wrong or what he could do to right it. So Genma now found himself traveling the three days journey back to Tokyo to get help from the only man he trusted enough, Soun Tendo. He ought to be at the Tendo dojo soon, and maybe then he could get Ranma to be right again.
Michiko Tendo looked up from where she was cleaning the face of her youngest daughter when she heard the knock at the door. Her husband, Soun, had just finished his lunch and was settling in, with a small bottle of sake, to listen to a period radio drama about samurai. Getting up, she let Akane run off to play dolls with her older sisters. Whomever she might of been expecting to be at the door when she opened it wasn’t there. She was surprised to find, instead, a big, somewhat portly man and a young child standing outside the entrance. Both of them were wearing gi.
“Ahh, you must be Soun’s lovely wife. Is he in?” Genma’s voice boomed loudly about Michiko.
“I’m sorry sir, but if you wish to challenge my husband to honorable combat, you will have to use the door around back.”
Genma chuckled in response. “I am not here to challenge the dojo. Tell Soun his old friend, Genma Saotome, is here to see him about something of utmost importance.”
Before Michiko could say anything in reply, her husband’s voice sounded from behind her. “Who’s at the door ... Saotome, you old dog, is that you?”
Genma grinned as he rushed in to embrace his friend. “Tendo! You do not know how glad I am to see you.”
“What is wrong old friend?” Soun asked as he broke the embrace. Images of troubles from training under their dreaded master filled his head. “Has something happened?” Whatever Soun may have been thinking to ask got sidetracked as he spied Ranma. “This must be Ranma, your son! How happy I am to meet him. You are training him, right? Did you encounter trouble?” Soun once again imagined the days of running from angry shopkeepers and violated women, and as he visualized what kind of trouble Genma might of gotten into by training Ranma, the vision turned into one of Genma and Ranma fleeing before a mob of police officers and JSDF security personnel. Genma was dragging a large sack full of food as Ranma bounced along carrying a sack full of little girls' underthings, cackling like the dreaded master himself. Shaking his head to clear his mind of such images, he caught Genma’s reply.
“Oh, you do not know the half of it, Tendo. I am at a lost and need your help – is that sake I smell?”
Soun grinned, in remembrance of old times. “How about we send the kids out to play with my wife and you can tell me all about it?”
Genma’s face lit up, anticipating free sake. “Capital idea, Soun old pal. Are these your daughters?” Genma gestured to the three kids peeking around the corner, drawn by the loud noises. “What splendid girls you have. Yes, why don’t we let my son, Ranma, get to know them as we catch up on old times.” The sly wink that passed from Genma to Soun went unnoticed by all except Soun, who was scheming the same thing.
“Michiko, dear. I am sure our dear, young guest here would enjoy playing in the park instead of listen to some old people talk. Why don’t you take Ranma and the girls out for a bit.”
Michiko nodded stoically, figuring if the two fools were going to get drunk on sake then maybe it would be better for the kids to be elsewhere.
Kasumi rolled her eyes in long sufferance as Nabiki giggled at Ranma’s antics and Akane pouted. It wasn’t that he did anything wrong, so much as it was embarrassing to be seen with a little kid who runs around on all fours like a cat. And, not only was Ranma running around meowing like a cat, but he was chasing squirrels. Squirrels that seemed to run towards and over Akane, no matter how she tried to avoid them, with Ranma right behind. And while Kasumi thought that it was impossible to blame Ranma, she wasn’t so sure it wasn’t his fault. At least he gave up on the squirrels and was busy trying to pounce on the pigeons.
Michiko smiled as she watched on, glad that the kids were getting along. Kasumi was making friends in school, but Akane and Nabiki were still home all day and didn’t have much opportunities to meet new people. Certainly, Ranma was behaving a little oddly, but that just meant he had a good imagination and boys would be boys, after all.
Ranma seemed to have given up on his game. Innocently, he walked over to where Michiko was sitting on the park bench; the mischievous smirk and gleam in his eyes having been replaced with childlike naivety. Tugging on her dress, he looked up at her with big, puppy dog eyes. “Are you my mommy?”
The tone of Ranma’s voice nearly broke Michiko’s heart. “No, dear, I am not. Don’t you remember your mother?”
“Naw-aw,” Ranma said as he shook his head side to side. “I dun remember mommy much. Papa sez not to t’ink of her anymore when I ask. Is mommy dead?” Tears started to form at the corner of his eyes.
Michiko’s heart just melted. Smiling down to the little boy as she wiped away the forming teardrops, she replied, “I don’t know dear. I can find out. What was your mommy’s name?”
“Nodoka. Nodoka Saotome.”
“Well, I am sure she must be fine. I’ll ask your daddy later, OK? Why don’t you run off and play with the girls.” Michiko shooed him off towards where the girls had gathered at a swing set. As he turned and ran away, a thoughtful frown crossed the Tendo matriarch’s face.
As Ranma ran towards the girls, a wicked smirk crossed his. He didn’t quite understand the joke, but he knew Toltiir was amused.
The Tendo sisters occupied all of the swings, so Ranma decided to play on the monkey bars, while pretending to be a monkey.
This prompted another pout from Akane. “Boys are stupid.”
Which only prompted Ranma to take it as a challenge. Dropping down in front of the girl, he smiled while pointing up to the sky. “Dem are fighting words.” In reply to Akane’s confused expression, Ranma lunged at her and started to tickle her all over. “Tickle war!”
Akane ran off, screeching in laughter as Ranma gave chase. Nabiki and Kasumi quickly gave chase themselves, wanting to join in on giving tickles to others. Michiko smiled on as the four children chased and tickled each other, laughing gaily all the while.
Meanwhile, another did not look on so kindly. Young Tatewaki Kuno had recently discovered the joys of pulp samurai fiction. Besides radio programs, his mother would read to him Lone Wolf and Cub and he had seen a few Zatoichi movies on TV. He had also seen a few Godzilla movies, but that is besides the point. He had been in the park playing a new game he thought up, where he styled himself as a young Jubei. Brandishing a small stick he found, he gave chase to imaginary ninjas as he showed them the power of the Kuno Shinkageryu school of swordsmanship. As he has never actually received any kendo or kenjutsu training, his powerful swords techniques consisted of whipping the air and jabbing at his shadow. He was about to prove his sword against Mothra, as the ninjas were not a challenge at all for one of his skill and daring, when shrieks rented the air. What could only be a fair damsel in distress was being chased by that crazy beast boy he had seen earlier on the monkey bars and seen chasing pigeons like a common animal. The beast, it was plain to see, was a danger to the lovely young maiden. Surely, this was a job for none other then Tatewaki himself, and when he saved the girl she would swoon into his arms in gratitude. Tatewaki was not quite sure what swooning was, but all the princesses did that when rescued by Prince Charming in all of the stories his mother would tell his younger sister. Not that he paid any attention at all, no not at all. Those stories were for girls and beneath his notice, even when the gallant prince faced certain death in the form of a fire breathing dragon that spoke in rhymes. Oh no, Tatewaki was above listening in at the door like some common thief, with knees shaking in fear for the handsome prince as he overcame great odds to finally defeat the evil Orochi. Oh no, he would never admit to liking any stories other then those of manly samurai without all that gross stuff of girls and kissing and marrying under the stars as the woodland animals sang along with tiny men and kindly oni.
Steeling himself, Tatewaki would face down the beastly boy and save his maiden, and the squirrels will sing of his defeat of the dreaded beast in man form. Marching out to where the children were playing chase, Tatewaki stood in the path of the frolicking Ranma. Arm out and hand up, Kuno boldly declared, “Stop, I will not let you hurt this girl.”
Ranma stopped short, a very mischievous smile played on his lips as his eyes lit up with a sudden cat like gleam of intelligence. Meanwhile, Nabiki and Akane saw their chance and pounced on Ranma, giving him tickles as he howled in laughter. Kasumi frowned, as she was letting Ranma catch up to her, hoping to get him in tickle range as he tried to tickle her, but now this strange boy interrupted the game. Finally, Kodachi shyly walked up to her older brother and hid behind him, peeking out at the group of kids.
“What cowardice is this, hiding behind the skirts of girls.” Tatewaki was proud of himself, getting to use a line from one of his favorite stories.
Ranma dusted himself as he got up from under Akane and Nabiki. The sisters frowned at the strange boy who was interrupting their fun. “My name is Ranma, and I am no coward.”
“I am Tatewaki Kuno, noble samurai who lives by his blade. Leave these fair princesses alone, or I shall be forced to thrash you.”
“With that stick?” Ranma tried not to laugh as he pointed to the small stick in Kuno’s hands.
“It’s a blade of honor, cur.” Tatewaki wasn’t exactly sure what a cur was, but he knew it was bad.
“Well, poke me if you want. I am a student of Toltiir’s School of Anything That Can Go Wrong. I could use some help learning my first few lessons. Will you help me, Twatiwack?”
Kuno snorted in annoyance. “The name is Tatewaki. I knew a beast like you could not say rightly such an honorable name.” With that, Kuno tried to stab Ranma with his stick, but Ranma sidestepped and knocked the weapon out of Kuno’s hands.
“OK, TittieWookie. Which shall I practice first? The dog greeting kick, the squirrelly knee, or the catfist revised?”
Tatewaki stood there in confusion. “Those are not real moves. A doggy what? Aren’t feet called dogs?”
“Yes,” Ranma answered as he swung his foot up, hard, into Kuno’s crotch, “and my doggy wants to say hi.”
Kuno dropped to his knees, but stood back up again after catching his breath. “What a dirty trick,” he said in a high pitched squeal. Clearing his throat, he continued, “A squirrel I can beat, at least.” His voice was still pitched higher, though not as bad as at first.
Ranma smirked as he took a step closer. “You know what they say about squirrels and nuts.” Ranma punctuated the sentence by bringing his knee up into Kuno’s crotch, hard. Kasumi watched on in scandalized amusement, Kodachi stood away from the group frowning, Akane watched on with big eyes, and Nabiki was rolling in the grass laughing her head off.
Kuno rolled around on the ground, tears in his eyes. “Come on, fight fair.”
Ranma shrugged. “You’re just sore because you are losing.”
Nabiki piped up from where she was sitting up in the grass, out of breath. “He’s sore because you kicked him in his boy bits.”
Ranma smiled at Nabiki. “That too.” Looking back to Kuno, he said, “Tittiewanker, can you help me with practicing my last lesson?”
“My name is Tatewaki. And I will not let you surprise me again, I am ready for your dirty ways.” Kuno dusted himself off as he climbed to his feet. He posed like one of the people from his favorite super sentai TV show, which only caused Nabiki and Kasumi to laugh out loud at his absurdity. “What are you girls laughing at? This is how heroes fight.”
Akane was giggling now. “Nuh uh. Daddy don’t dance silly like that when he teaches.”
Kuno looked offended. “What would you mere peasants know. We Kunos come from a long line of noble samurai.”
Kodachi shyly interrupted at this point. “Daddy is a school teacher, Taki-kun.”
“Silence, Dachi-chan. You know not of what you say.”
Kasumi asked, “You don’t know any martial arts, do you?”
Kuno looked down his nose at Kasumi. “Nay. I watch the great heroes on TV all the time.”
The Tendo girls laughed some more as Ranma smirked. “Sounds good to me. Here comes my catfist revised.”
However, Ranma never got to try it as Kodachi ran in front of him and grabbed him. “Please don’t hurt my brother,” she said with big, wet, puppy dog eyes. The one thing Ranma still had no defense for was a crying girl.
“Alright, but he started it.”
“Nay,” Kuno said as he tried to pose in self-importance, “for this smelly animal was chasing after these girls. I was just saving them from this dirty cheater.”
Kasumi came to Ranma’s defense. “We were playing a game. No one asked you for help.” Nabiki and Akane nodded their heads in agreement.
Somehow, this was not going how Kuno thought it should be going. Staring off into space, he tried to think of where it began to go wrong.
Ranma, growing bored, did the only thing he could think of. He tweaked Kodachi’s nose before running off saying, “Tag, you’re it!” The other girls also scrambled and Kodachi gave chase.
Michiko had gathered the children before herding them home, she had dinner to prepare and guests to cook for. As they began to walk along, Akane tugged on Ranma’s sleeve.
“Story, please?” She pleaded.
Ranma thought for a moment. “Once upon a time there was a princess.” Ranma paused to look around before his eyes fell on Kasumi. “Princess Kasumi was the most gentle soul in the kingdom.”
Kasumi beamed at being a princess. Akane, however, interrupted, “I wanna be a princess too.”
Ranma continued as if he was not interrupted. “And Princess Kasumi had two sisters, Nabiki and Akane, and an evil step-mother.”
“Step-mother?” Akane asked.
“Yes,” Ranma answered. “For, you see, Kasumi’s mom died and the King remarried.”
Nabiki was getting into the story, as well. “How did the mom die?”
“Hmm,” Ranma stopped to think. “She wasn’t the kind to go see a healer, and often too embarrassed to. It’s a wife duty to suffer in silence, after all. And the problem was not one she could bring herself to talk about to a strange guy, even if he was a doctor. So she said nothing to no one and wasted away. Leaving her precious children to the evil whims of a step-mother, who only married the king to steal the kingdom away from him and his family.”
“How would she do that? What was her name?” Kasumi interrupted, curious herself about the story.
“Uh ...” Ranma paused again. “Genma. Her name was Genma.” Michiko snorted, curious at why Ranma would make his father an evil step-mother in a story. “And she used the guise of uniting the kingdoms to secure an easy life. And she had an evil servant, uh ... Tattlewronkie, and together they would steal the kingdom away from the princess, and make her slave away in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning for everyone while the Princess Nabiki would be forced to work in the stables and fields.”
“And Princess Akane?” Akane looked sad.
“She was ... uh ... sent away to live with seven oni where she would try to cook, but she never learned how because her mom died when she was only a little baby. The seven oni were called ... Grumpisai, Happisai, uh ... StrongBadosai, Smellisai, hmm ... Frutisai, Billisai, and Tofu.”
“Did the evil step-mother get the kingdom?” Nabiki asked, trying to get the story back on track.
“Yes, because the mother was foolish enough to let pride allow her to pass on when she had a family to raise. The king was many thing, but he did not know how to raise three little girls.”
Akane pouted. “That’s not a happy ending.”
Ranma smirked. “Sure it is. The evil step-mother was eaten by a rabid panda.”
“Why a Panda? Panda don’t eat people, they eat leaves. I saw one at a zoo once.” Kasumi protested.
“But it was a rabid panda.” Ranma defended himself.
“What’s rabid mean?” Akane asked.
“What happened to the princesses, then?” Nabiki asked at nearly the same time.
“Well, Princess Kasumi got to marry the dashing Prince Charming, except he wasn’t all that dashing or charming. That was just his name, Prince Piccolo Charming. And the princess had to marry him because her father, the king, ate food at his castle and had to give him a daughter in return. Princess Nabiki ... uh, she was sold into slavery with a rainbow colored jacket and became the Queen of the Gypsies. And the baby princess ... uh ... married all seven of the oni and had fourteen children and grew fat from eating pancakes every day.”
Kasumi frowned, but it was Nabiki who protested. “How are those happy endings?”
“Made me laugh,” Ranma retorted while sticking his tongue out at the girls. Seeing the Tendo dojo just ahead, he tagged Kasumi. “Your it. Can’t catch me!” The children quickly gave chase as Ranma ran for the doors.
Michiko walked along slowly, curious at the rather grown up vocabulary of the boy’s story. It sounded like a mixture of many other stories, so maybe he was just parroting words. And he was just using names of people he knew for it, so it was not like it meant anything, but she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling it gave her, though. She was long overdue for a physical, it couldn’t hurt to go get checked out. The story did have a point, it would be foolish to leave her girls motherless if it could be avoided.
Inside, she came upon the men, drunk and talking loudly.
“Didn’t you try it again?” The voice of her husband was unmistakably slurred.
“Yes, of course. But the cats, they all acted strange after that. Even when I got new cats.” The voice of her guest was loud and just as slurred.
Michiko sighed as she cleaned up the empty sake bottles littering the table. A book on the table caught her eye; she couldn’t help reading the page that it was opened to. Her eyes flew wide and a small gasp escaped her lips. She quickly reread the page to see if she had read it wrong the first time.
“And he’s been acting strangely since?” Soun mused. “Maybe it’s a phase he’s going through. Children do that. Why I remember when my darling Kasumi went through this phase where she would cry all the time. Quite annoying, really.”
Michiko snorted, realizing Soun was recalling the period of time their eldest was a baby and teething. Only her husband would consider a colicky infant with teething issues as just a passing phase. Turning the page she read the rest of the catfist training.
“I’m not so sure about that,” Genma replied. “He’s just uncontrollable, to smart for his own good. Used to be he knew well enough not to get the attention of the police, but now I would almost swear he’s doing it on purpose. I know I did the training right. I followed the instructions and everything.”
Michiko, while normally a stoic and proper wife who would never think of speaking in matters that concerned only her husband, felt the need to say something. “Didn’t you read the next page in the manual?”
Genma was about to berate the woman for talking about matters she knew nothing about, “In my day, a ...” However, her words sunk into his sake addled mind. “The next page?”
“Yes,” Michiko replied while fighting to keep her cool. “The page that says only a fool would use this training method because those that don’t die end up crazy.”
Genma whitened. “Let me see that.” Looking at the book and turning the page, he saw that the manual indeed said that. “He he he,” he chuckled nervously. “Well, that doesn’t matter, I can’t tell if he has learned it or not. The boy says he has, but I don’t think the catfist...” Genma had to stop talking as he shuddered at his current thought. “And the revised version...” Genma’s sickly voice trailed off as he turned white.
Soun tugged at his mustache as he thought hard. “Maybe you just need to train Ranma away from distractions.” Soun did not feel the cold glare of wife’s stare, soaked in sake as he was.
“Yes, a splendid idea.” Genma scratched his chin in thought. “I think I know of just the place.” Genma’s thoughts turned towards monasteries and shrines that would be in out of the way places. He had always intended to visit some while training Ranma. He’ll just have to move them up earlier. The Fushimi Inari temple would be a good place to start.
Michiko just shook her head sadly. Cleaning up the table, again, she decided to convince her husband, that night as they slept, to encourage his friend to stick around. This way she could keep an eye out for the boy. Perhaps she could try asking about his mother. “I’ll be cooking dinner soon, would you please stay to eat?”
“Gladly!” Genma was always willing to stuff his face for free. But he would have to take Ranma and leave afterwards. It wouldn’t do to let the boy grow soft, after all.
Soun seemed to notice his wife’s presence for the first time. “Ah, Michi-chan. How were the kids? Did they get along well with Ranma?”
“Yes, dear. They all got along,” she replied as she headed for the kitchen.
“Did any of them seem to like him more?”
Michiko’s suspicion grew at the odd question. “Why would that matter, dear?”
Soun chuckled at his wife’s cold tone. “Just ... making sure my little darlings are making new friends. They don’t get to hang out with kids their own age often.”
Michiko raised an eyebrow but said nothing. She turned to enter her kitchen and begin cooking.
Dinner was a simple affair, though Michiko was proud of how it turned out. Seeing Genma steal food from his son’s bowl and Ranma unable to effectively stop the older man firmed her decision to find out more about Ranma’s mother.
Turning to Genma, she thought about how to phrase her question before deciding on being simple and straight forward. “You haven’t brought your wife along on your trip?”
“Naw, a woman would only slow us down and coddle the boy.”
“I see.” Michiko thought for a new angle to try. “Don’t you think she might get lonely, home all alone?”
“She’s fine. Why wouldn’t she be.” Genma began to get defensive.
Michiko decided that was all she would get from the man, but he did imply that Ranma’s mom was alive and well when they had left. She’ll just have to look into things herself. Faking a smile for the distasteful man, she poured him some more sake. “May I refill your glass?”
Meanwhile, Toltiir was busy plotting silently in Ranma’s head. “We’re a lot closer to Happosai’s cave. Perhaps we ought to run off. I would love to see the look on Genma’s face when he catches us letting Happosai loose. But he would recognize the area as we got close. Maybe I could get Kuno to let him out. Feed the idiot some story of a great warrior betrayed by his students who would teach any man that frees him everything he knows, and the location of the cave. Hmm, what a delicious thought. Kuno, the pervert to be, trained by Happosai. Or, I could take the opportunity of being in Tokyo. I doubt Genma would return this way again anytime soon. He might, though. But still, hop a train and in an hour I could be in Minato-Juban. Hehehe, the places I could go and the people Ranma could meet.”
And so, later that night when Genma is ready to sneak out with Ranma, Ranma has already sneaked out in order to...
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See other episodes by Errol Peregrinus
(Posted Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:20)
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